Waiting for Tomorrow
by PrincessAlica
Summary: First attempt at GWTW fanfiction. This is my first try at a sequel to Gone With the Wind. It begins the morning after Gone With the Wind ends. not completely book compliant It is now complete. I hope you all enjoy it. Thanks for letting me share
1. Waiting for Tomorrow

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Waiting for Tomorrow

By PrincessAlica

Rating T

Disclaimer I do not own the character nor is any profit being made from the writing of this. Any resemblance to those living or dead is purely coincidental unless expressly permitted by the person it is modeled after.

This begins the morning after Melanie's death. I am writing my own sequel to Gone With the Wind. I have tried to back everything with historical data and I have a timeline composed in effort to figure out for sure what the seasons were. So I am trying very hard to stay accurate. 

Chapter One

A gentle mist fell from the sky which was a dreary gray. It penetrated everything, the cold dampness, so unusual for the early September morning, finding its way into the bones of the mourners who gathered to pay their respects to Melanie Hamilton Wilkes. Scarlett stood at the edge of the ring of mourners. She was neither completely a part of them, nor was she completely separate. She did not cry. She could not cry, for if she began, she knew that there would be no end. It seemed as if all of the good in the world had departed with the final breath of the only woman other than her mother who had truly loved her. She squared her shoulders and took the burden upon herself. She alone would carry it.

She watched in agony as Ashley sobbed openly holding young Beau to his side. The sobs shook him to his very core. He fell to his knees and grasped at the dirt of the grave clawing it with his bare hands. A part of Scarlett longed to run forward and pull him back from the brink, but most of her knew that she mustn't and that it wasn't the right thing to do. But she would not. It was not a feeling borne of love. It was the desire of one stronger who had been protecting the weaker all of her life. And Ashley had been the protected weaker one. She had never seen it, never truly realized it until the night before, after Melanie died. She went to Ashley looking for a strength that he did not possess, for a strength that he was looking for in her.

Instead then, she turned and began walking away, longing to be rid of these feeling of sadness, desperate to break free of the grief that was enveloping her -- that had been shrouding her. "I mustn't think of it now. I'll think of it tomorrow when I can deal with it better." She told herself simply. It was the mantra of her life. She was just as Grandma Fontaine had warned. She was hard. She was cold. She had been to hell and back. She had seen the worst and now nothing could shock her, nothing could penetrate her heart. 

The assembled mourners noticed her take her leave. They watched with their constant curiosity and nosiness unable to be hidden. They had assumed that she would stay and go after Ashley. For few believed in her innocence, even though she had been under Melanie's protection. Melanie was too sweet to believe of any wrongdoing on the part of her sister-in-law or her husband. Some even whispered that Melanie had asked Scarlett to take care of Ashley. So they were surprised to see her walking away leaving Ashley be. But she did.

Scarlett climbed into her carriage and told the driver to take her home. Not that, as she thought about, that the monstrosity was a home. It was a show place meant only to make everyone in Atlanta jealous of her. She hadn't understood… Somehow, somehow in those moments, those mere moments after Melanie's death, Scarlett's eyes had been fully opened for the first time in her life. She saw her life for what it was and what it had been. As soon as she understood, she had run to Rhett, begging him, pleading with him to understand. And he had. But he had seen the truth in her eyes, and he had left all the same. He believed her confessions of love at their face value, but he still had been too raw and too hurt to forgive or to truly accept. He knew too well. She couldn't lie to him without him being acutely aware of the fact.

Soon she was home. She alighted from the carriage and hurried inside to the protective dry warmth of her home. She called out for one of the maids. As soon as the girl arrived, Scarlett began directing her as to what needed to be packed and what needed done while she was away. Her other bags had already been packed and loaded into the carriage, and so she went up the stairs as quickly as she could. Once in her room, she striped off the sodden clothes that she had worn to the funeral and changed into traveling clothes for her journey to Tara.

Before she left, she made a slow journey through the house. Perhaps it was a farewell. But she walked through each room and allowed for just a moment to look back. For just a moment she could hear Bonnie's childish giggles and Rhett's sardonic chuckle echoing as memory through the austere walls. Scarlett paused at the bottom of the stairs as she remembered the child she never had held. Some part of her believed that child had been a son who would have looked just like Rhett. But Scarlett stopped. She couldn't think about it now, maybe never. The beauty of waiting until tomorrow is that tomorrow never comes. As soon as it arrives, it become today.

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	2. Remembering Yesterday

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Author's note I have made small changes from GWtW to suit my purpose. It is a very small change, one that unless you are overly acquainted with the book will you see it, in fact as listed currently in the story it is not incorrect.

Chapter Two

The train pulled into the Jonesboro station. Scarlett stepped onto the small platform that was still open on all sides. She looked around waiting, hoping that Will and Suellen had received her telegram. The children should have arrived yesterday with Prissy after Scarlett's hasty departure to Melanie's death bed. She hadn't wanted the children there, not then, not watching Melanie die. Scarlett shivered as the exhaustion and grief of the past year seemed to descend onto her. 

"Scarlett!" Beatrice Tarleton hollered as she rushed across the street. "Child," she crooned, "you look so pale. I'm so sorry for your loss." 

Scarlett's normally flashing eyes were lifeless and without fire. "Thank you." She murmured politely.

""Why, Scarlett O'Hara! I never thought that anyone or anything could defeat you. I always thought you were the only Belle in Clayton County that could have tamed any of my boys. Why I was sure that the twins were eventually going to have to duel over you. And they probably would have too if it wasn't for the war." Her eyes grew wistful as she spoke of the past. "I remember that last Barbecue at Twelve Oaks before the way how you were so surrounded by beaux. I was so surprised when you agreed to marry Charlie Hamilton. I don't mean to speak ill of the dead. But he didn't have life like you in him. And by the twin's reactions, you were marrying the devil himself. I'm not so sure that you didn't, but of course I'm not referring to Charles."

Scarlett looked up at her startled by the confession. "Rhett?" She said with a ghost of a smile. "Well it doesn't matter now. He's left me too."

Beatrice gazed into Scarlett's eyes. "It's so hard to lose a child. I wouldn't even wish it on a Yankee unless it was one of the Yankees that took my boys from me. He's just too hurt to deal with anything else right now. You'll see Scarlett. You'll see."

Scarlett shook her head. "I don't see how, I don't see how he will ever forgive me. I've been so horrible."

Beatrice smiled a grim smile. "You never understand until it happens." She paused as if considering what else she should say. "Listen to me, I know you thought we were fools to buy those monuments for the boys. And maybe now you understand, at least a little. It was the only way to hold on to that part of me and to my boys. Did you know Scarlett; I never even got all of their bodies back. And maybe it was foolish to deprive ourselves to have those, but I didn't care, and I would still do it again." 

"I think I do understand much better now. Then I was so scared of going without food that I could think of little else. I've been plagued by that fear ever sense. The Yankees can't scare me, but the thought of starvation scares. I sometimes wake up in the middle of the night in a cold sweat because I dreamed I was back right after the fall of Atlanta, and we were so hungry. And then you had these beautiful stones that I knew must be expensive and all I could think of was the food that you could have gotten with the money instead."

"It's all right Scarlett. I just wanted you to know that I am here, and you are no fool, and I hope that you don't think that I am one either."

"I would never think that you are a fool." Scarlett counted.

Beatrice took one more glance at Scarlett and decided that their current conversation was not helping. "Don't worry about it. Let me take you home, honey. I've got some horses now and a carriage. I'm breeding thoroughbreds again. You have to see them." Scarlett looked and saw not the horses --magnificent animals that they were-- she saw that old sparkle, the life was creeping back into Beatrice Tarleton, who had lost all four of her bright and loving boys to the war. Beatrice too was a survivor. 

Scarlett smiled, and they entered the carriage. And for a moment Scarlett could close her eyes and feel the years slip away. For just a moment she was on the road to Tara behind one of Beatrice Tarleton's fine animals, and for a moment she was still the Belle of the county and nothing could touch her. 

Scarlett's eyes fluttered open as they pulled through the tunnel of pines leading to Tara. She remembered with agony waiting for the moonlight to reveal if her home still stood. And then she saw the white bricks of Tara covered in ivy. And she smiled. The first real smile, she had smiled in such a long time. She was at Tara. And Tara was in her blood. Nothing could defeat her here. Sparkle came back into her eyes as she gazed at the house that she loved with all of her being. She decided in that moment that it didn't matter what Will wanted, pride or no pride. She was going to make Tara like the Tara before the war had touched her. And color rose in her cheeks. She would not be defeated.

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	3. Home to Tara

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Chapter Three

Will rushed out of the house and helped her down. Scarlett smiled at her brother in law. For if there was anyone alive who loved Tara as much as she did, it was Will. 

"Will Benteen. You simply have got to let me finish repairing this place." She raised her hand as Will began to protest. "You didn't see her before the war. This isn't for you Will, and I will not take no for an answer."

Will stepped back. "Scarlett, you know that I never can manage to say no to you. But you and Captain Butler already did so much."

Scarlett grinned, "Then it's settled." She turned back to Beatrice Tarleton. "Thank you so much for the ride home. It's so nice to be with County people again."

And with that Beatrice was off with a wave.

Scarlett walked up the path to the house as the door spilled open. Wade and Ella came rushing out to greet her. Their normal reserve forgotten as they were desperate for their mother in the grief of losing the woman who had given them love all of their lives.

"Mother, we miss Aunt Melly so!" cried Wade who had never known life without her except for a few brief months while she was married to Frank. Scarlett bent and wiped the tears from their dusty faces with the handkerchief that Rhett had handed her as he left. 

"Where is Uncle Rhett?" Ella questioned. "We miss him too." Ella added, longing for the only father she remembered. Deep inside she understood that her daddy was gone, but Uncle Rhett was the only one she remembered holding her, the one soothing her tears when she fell down and she missed him dreadfully.

Scarlett's heart broke as she witnessed the devastation that the loss had on her children. "He needed some time to say goodbye in his own way." She told them gently. "He still misses Bonnie very much and to lose Aunt Melly was a horrible thing for all of us."

The children accepted her answer as gospel and slowly walked with her into the house. 

Suellen stormed into the entry as Scarlett entered. "Why do you keep sending your children here? Don't I have enough to do without taking care of your brats?"

At this Scarlett bristled. "Suellen, you had better shut your mouth before I make you."

"If mother were…" Suellen began.

"Would you for once in your life hush!" Scarlett said in a cold calculated tone. "I will not do this today. Not after just saying goodbye to Melanie. I own a third of Tara. And I will send my children here as often as I like. And stop hiding behind our mother's skirts. Mother has been gone nearly a decade. You will not speak to me in that manner again. Or you will go hungry. I have nearly broken my back to keep food on this table and to keep this roof over our heads. Maybe you were too simple minded to understand what I did at the end of the war. But if it weren't for me, there might not be a Tara."

"You mean there might not be a Tara if you hadn't stolen my beau and then killed him." Suellen countered.

"Yes, I took Frank Kennedy from you by deception, and I was wrong. But I would do it again to save Tara and to save my family. I took the man who had already waited 5 years for you but never seemed to get around to asking you to marry him. Yes, I took him from you. But I gave you so much more!" She gestured around her. "I let you stay in the home we grew up in, In the home our mother died in. I gave up everything! So don't you stand there and keep whining about things that are long past. Get over it Sue! It's so far behind us now that you are just being a simpleton!" With that Scarlett pushed past her and hurried up the stairs to her room. 

Wade and Ella followed in her wake, wanting to be near their mother if she would let them. They waited quietly outside of her room, hoping that she would hear them and allow them to enter. Mammy waddled past them and entered mother's room. 

"My hunny chile. Now, now, Mammy is here now, you jist let ole' mammy hol' you." Mammy crooned as she took Scarlett into her arms. Wade watched with surprised eyes. His mother was so strong. It shook him to the core to see her cry. She must have loved Aunt Melly loads.

Wade squared his slim shoulders and entered the room unbidden. "Mother, please don't cry. It'll be all right. Nothing can lick you." He tilted his chin, his eyes bright in apparent defiance, "Aunt Melly said even Sherman couldn't lick you, and I remember Uncle Rhett saying when I was very small that he felt sorry for the Yankees if they tried to stop you."

Scarlett lifted her eyes from Mammy's bosom to gaze at her oldest child. "Wade Hampton, how did you get so brave and wise?" There was pride in both of their eyes.

"It was from watching you." 

Scarlett extended her arm towards her son who gladly accepted the embrace then she smiled at Ella and motioned for her to come join them. "I know that I've never been a good mother like Aunt Melly was, but I do love you. And I would do anything for you."

Wade beamed at her shyly. "Mother, I know that. I remember how it was after the war, not a whole lot, but I remember being hungry and you would give me the food off of your plate so that I wouldn't be. I remember you in the cotton patch, picking cotton like a darkie, because it had to be done and Aunt Melly and Careen couldn't and Aunt Suellen wouldn't. Mother I remember." He stated with a proud glint in his eyes.

"And I would do it again if I had to." Scarlett stated, and then she closed her eyes and let herself be held and loved.

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	4. Those that Remain

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Chapter Four

Scarlett sat on her new mare that she had chosen in Atlanta months before so that she would have a proper mount when she visited. She started down the road to visit the families that were left from before the war. She grimaced as she thought for a moment of the Calverts and what had become of them. Cade had come home from the war, but he was ill and had never recovered from it. And then Cathleen had married Hilton, and then he had lost her home. Scarlett brushed the thought aside. She needed to see the families that were still here, she couldn't think of those that weren't. Looking back only made it harder.

She and her pretty little mare trotted up to the Tarleton's home. It had been missed in the first wave of burnings when Sherman's army had marched to Atlanta, but it hadn't survived the second time that the Yankees made their way through the county. She gazed with approval at the horses standing in the paddock. At least a little bit of the formerly bountiful plantation was beginning to look the same. And the breeding must be going well, for there had been a new home constructed over the foundation of the old house. Life was slowly coming back to the county and it made Scarlett smile. Two of the Tarleton sisters came rushing out of the house at Fairhill. "O Scarlett!" Hetty cried. "It's so wonderful to see you."

It was ironic considering that before the war, Scarlett knew that they hadn't liked her. In all actuality very few of the other girls in the area had liked her much at all. Empty headed Cathleen Calvert would probably be considered her only girl friend in the area other than Melanie, and Scarlett had not liked Melanie at all.

Randa squealed as she rushed out to Scarlett. "O, such a beautiful horse! You know I always thought you would be our sister-in-law. If it wasn't for the war!" she added with a bitterness.

Scarlett smiled. "Things would be much different, if it weren't for the war."

The three ladies made idle chit chat about country gossip until she had been there so long that finally Scarlett felt she had no choice but to leave hoping to find some of the Fontaines at home. Alex was still there with his wife Sally. How odd it still was to think that he and Sally were married. Alex had loved Dimity Munroe and Sally was his brother Joe's widow. But Joe had died a hero. And Alex never felt like he was good enough for Dimity now that he had no money, and so they had married.

Scarlett smiled as she felt the tug of the wind pulling on her carefully arranged hair, and she did not care. She loved the power, the speed, the rush as she flew across the countryside. It was one of the things that still tied her to the past for she had spent many hours riding these roads with Ashley, or Cade, or the twins. She smiled as she thought of Brent and Stuart with their passion and their fire. She had loved them in her own way. O surely not with the passion she felt for Rhett, but she had loved them all the same, for she understood them. She understood them in the same ways that she did not understand Ashley. They had been her best friends. 

Scarlett looked up and realized she had very nearly reached the Fontaine's plantation, Mimosa. And as she trotted into the yard, she saw that Alex was making a go of it. It amused her to think of the dandy that he had been turning into a resourceful farmer. For they were all simply farmers, no longer was the county graced with beautiful productive plantations, but farms. The house still stood, although time had taken its toll. 

Sally hurried into the yard, her face bright as she grinned at Scarlett. "It's so good to see you Scarlett! I hadn't heard that you were back at home." 

"Oh, I'm just here for a visit. Something about Tara always gives me a fresh feeling of being alive." Scarlett told her, revealing nothing that would peak the interest of the county gossip mill. It wasn't exactly as if she should reveal that she and her husband were separated and that he had offered her a divorce. That most certainly would never do. She dismounted the horse carefully and joined Sally on the porch for some tea. They sat and talked about idle gossip. But Scarlett noticed that the sun was quickly chasing its path across the sky and so she thanked Sally and hurried for she had one more stop she wanted to make before she returned to Tara. She allowed the horse to canter along until they met the main road. 

She headed her horse on to Twelve Oaks and once up the driveway she gazed at the ruin before her. Nothing had changed her since she returned from Atlanta except for weeds to grow up and began to take back the formerly stately plantation. A part of Scarlett longed to restore Twelve Oaks, to bring it back to its glory, but now it was nothing but rubble, and Scarlett had no idea who even owned it. 

She wished for Ashley's sake, more than most, that the war had never begun, and that Melanie was still with him even though she was unsure whether he deserved her love. Scarlett knew she did not deserve it. 

But it was no use looking back. 

No use at all. 

Scarlett set her jaw and turned her horse from the ruin before her and went back to the road, back to Tara. For when Tara was under her feet, she somehow knew that nothing could ever defeat her.

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	5. The Past Never Changes

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Chapter Five

Scarlett stretched as she lay in the bed watching the sunlight stream in from the windows through the gauzy white curtains. Her room had been restored to the room of her childhood. Everything looked the same. It was such a comfort for a moment to be back in time when all she had to think about was catching Ashley. She knew that if she looked out the window she would see the rolling hills that she loved so passionately. This was her life blood. 

She smiled as heard the noise at her door. She expected Mammy or that silly ninny Prissy to bustle in the door at any moment with a tray loaded with ham and biscuits. But it was neither who entered, but her small seven year old daughter whose ginger hair hung in loose waves down her back. She had obviously just awakened and slipped into serviceable clothes for the plantation. She peered at her mother timidly. Mother had at times been very attentive, but at other times she could also be very short and cross. Encouraged by the friendliness that had been shown since Mother's arrival, Ella was emboldened to come to her mother. "Mother." her soft voice had a pleading tone that unnerved Scarlett.

"Yes, baby." Scarlett offered, using the affectionate name she had formerly used for her youngest sister.

"Mother, Susie said that you didn't want me. She said that all you wanted from my father was money." She whispered, revealing her fears to Scarlett.

Scarlett's brow furrowed in anger with her sister. "I'm sorry mother… I shouldn't have told you…" Ella stammered convinced that her mother was angry with her.

"Oh, honey, please come here." Scarlett invited.

Ella shuffled forward; one of her arms was twisted behind her back tugging at her hair.

"So you aren't mad momma?" Ella questioned.

"Not at you, baby. But yes I am mad at your Aunt Sue. She had no business saying nasty things like that. Your Aunt Sue is just jealous because her beau liked me better." Scarlett proclaimed triumphantly.

"You are much prettier than Aunt Sue." Her daughter said with a shy smile, her hand falling still at her side. 

"And you will be much prettier than your cousins because you are my daughter." Scarlett said consoling her. She was rewarded with a brilliant smile. Scarlett was almost taken aback, "why she will be downright pretty" she thought.

"Honey, I'd better get ready for the day. Could you run downstairs and send Prissy up to me?" She said as her daughter hurried from the room with a shy smile.

Suellen glared at her older sister across the table. She resented everything that Scarlett paid for, everything that she had done to rescue the family. She felt like everything that she had was Scarlett's cast offs. Why it had always been that way, she mentally grumbled. Even before the war, Scarlett had always come first and Suellen resented her and in some ways her father for it. And Suellen knew that the years had not done her any favors, but it seemed as if Scarlett had aged hardly as day since the Barbecue at Twelve Oaks before the War. It wasn't right and it wasn't fair. Scarlett smiled at her, and Suellen simply glared back.

"How are you this morning, dear Sister?" Scarlett said in her most charming voice. But Suellen was not to be charmed.

"I'd be better if…." Suellen went one to complain about everything she could think. This only made Scarlett smile wider. Few things had ever been quite as enticing as making Sue angry. And it was one of those things that Scarlett could do so simply and so well. Scarlett's eyes sparkled with mischief as she looked up through her eyelashes at the others seated at the table. Scarlett popped a piece of ham into her mouth and chewed carefully, enjoying her breakfast. There was not a place like home, not a place like Tara.

Scarlett sat in the rocking chair, watching as the sun set over Tara. This place was the most precious place in the world to her, but she also knew that she shouldn't and couldn't stay here right now. She needed to go to Rhett. She needed Rhett. "I'll go beg him if I have to, in front of the children if I must." She thought. First off she decided that she must return to Atlanta. For the children were missing Beau fiercely, she was also sure that Beau missed them as strongly since he also was missing his dear mother. The she turned her mind back to happier matters to pretty things, and she smiled contentedly. 

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	6. The Journey from Tara

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Chapter Six

Prissy carried a bag as they boarded the train to Atlanta. The sun was shining and somehow, Scarlett felt that it was a good omen. Wade and Ella each sat on one side of her. Wade at eleven was becoming fiercely protective of the women in his life. He glanced at his mother with a worshipful adoration, and for once it was not something that Scarlett failed to notice.

"Wade, I think when we get back to Atlanta that I would like to buy you some new clothes. I heard that a new school has opened, and I believe that Beau will also be attending. It is in Atlanta, and that way you can come home as often as you would like." Scarlett told her son, hoping that he would be pleased.

"That sounds wonderful mother." he agreed with a contented smile. "When will Uncle Rhett be back?"

Scarlett paused. "I really don't know. He misses Bonnie an awful lot."

"Mother, are you well? You look awfully pale." He questioned. 

"I'm fine, I'm just tired." She told him.

"Mother, I am not a child, and I know that you were very ill. It truly terrified to me to think that something could harm you, who are so fearless." He paused as he stared out the window lost in thought. "Does Uncle Rhett know you still aren't well? Because I think that if he did he would come home. Even if he is so sad, he would want to be beside you when you don't feel well."

"I miss daddy," Ella mumbled. Her eyes flew open. "I meant Uncle Rhett. I know he isn't really my father, but I don't remember my father."

"Mother, can you tell me about my father?" Wade asked.

"Honey, we weren't married for very long. We married as soon as we heard about the war, and he left right away. We only lived in the same home for less than a week. I'm afraid we didn't know each other well. But he died a hero. Maybe you can ask Aunt Mel…." Scarlett's hand flew to her mouth. "I'm sorry." She sighed.

"Mother, we know you miss her too." Wade stated simply.

Ella bounced in her seat, "Can you tell me about my father, how did you steal him from Aunt Sue?" She quizzed. 

Scarlett smiled. "All I had to do was give a few smiles and a few flutters of my eyelashes, and your Aunt Sue was gone from his mind."

"But what was he like?" She prodded.

"He was a very kind, shy, quiet man. After the war he had nothing, but some common sense and a good heart, and he took advantage of it and began a business and so he was able to take care of us."

"Mother, was Uncle Rhett really a pirate?" Wade suddenly seemed intrigued, in truth part of it was the fact that his mother had never talked with him this long at any one point in time.

Scarlett laughed, a laugh that sounded like bells ringing. "You will have to ask him for that information.

Scarlett stared morosely at the stairs. It all began and ended there. She remembered when he had scooped her up into his arms, so passionately and brutally. She never knew that she could feel like that. But then he couldn't see it. And then afterwards… The baby. Her eyes glistened as she placed her hand on her stomach. Her baby, Our baby she challenged in her mind, the baby would be over two years old now. And her bright and beautiful Bonnie, o how much she missed her smile. What would life be like if they had lived? Rhett had loved Bonnie so completely that she felt certain that if the baby had lived that Rhett would have loved that child just a wholly. He would have found his way back to her. But Scarlett stood up and refused to think about it. It wouldn't change anything. It just made her sad. And she didn't want to be sad. 

She would win Rhett back somehow, even if she had to get him intolerably drunk to do so. She had her mind set on seducing her own husband. She knew she should wait and let him come to her, for if she tried to chase him the way she had chased Ashley she knew she would never catch him.

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	7. The Prodigal Returns

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Chapter Seven

Scarlett was surprised a mere two weeks later to see Rhett's luggage sitting inside the door when she and Ella came home from the dressmaker's. Ella glanced up at her mother, "Is he home?" She quizzed.

"So it seems," Scarlett murmured while her eyes slanted as she considered her plan. It had to work. It was all she had been able to come up with.

Ella went shrieking through the house yelling for Rhett. "Uncle Rhett," she squealed as she threw her arms around him outside his bedroom door. "Oh, I missed you so!"

Rhett smiled and pulled her close to him. "Oh my Ella." He crooned. She beamed up at him with adoration in her eyes. For in her eyes, there was no one as perfect as he, other than mother and Aunt Melly. 

"Well hello Rhett." Scarlett said as she came to the place where they stood. "Have you seen Wade?"

"No Scarlett I haven't, I only this moment got back." He replied. "You are looking a little pale. Is there a shortage of…" His voice faltered. Those were not words that he would taunt her with again.

Scarlett turned to her daughter and gave her a peck on the cheek. "Darling, can you please go find your brother, I am sure he will want to see Uncle Rhett immediately." And Ella quickly went running off in search of her brother who was probably somewhere reading. 

"So Rhett…" Scarlett said in a soft voice while her eyes blazed at him. "What brings you back so soon?"

"There has been trouble on Wall Street and I came to handle a few matters." was Rhett's response.

"Oh, Rhett is my money in danger?" Scarlett's eyes flashed worriedly.

"Imagine you being most concerned about your money when people will be losing their jobs left and right." Rhett chuckled. It was the first time to hear that sound in a long time, too long. "No Scarlett, as long as I am still legally your husband I will ensure your monetary future." He stated with a sardonic grin.

"What else will you be doing in town?" Scarlett simpered with her eyes wide and downcast.

"You are no innocent. You can't win me back by using the very tools I despise Mrs. Butler. We are married in name alone." He added.

Pouting her lip, she glared at him. He always had such power to make her angry. "Will you spend time with the children? They missed you, but I don't know why on earth why they would miss a cad like you." Scarlett stated unsheathing her claws.

"Aww my pet, I still see you can't control that temper of yours." He smiled at her. "Of, course I will spend time with the children, I'm the only decent parent that they have ever remembered except for dear sweet Mrs. Wilkes."

Color flooded Scarlett's face, her eyes glittered and her eyebrows arched. "You cad! I love my children…. How dare you!" She seethed.

"You have an awfully funny way of showing it." He turned and began walking away from her.

"At least I haven't killed my child!" She said the one thing that she knew she should never say.

He rushed to her; her words had found their mark cleanly and precisely. He grabbed her arms and shook her violently. Her thick hair loosening from its pins and tumbling over her shoulders "You will never…"

"Rhett, I'm sorry…please… you're hurting me." she pleaded.

"I should kill you for that and then I wouldn't have to worry about a divorce."

At that moment Wade chose to come running up the stairs. "Uncle Rhett!" He cried, but almost immediately the scenario became clear. Wade rushed to defend his mother. "Uncle Rhett, she isn't well!" He cried. 

Rhett glanced at the boy and released his mother who sank to the ground. Scarlett was shaking. Wade was instantly at her side, the devoted loving, protective oldest child. He hugged his mother. "Uncle Rhett, I think she needs to lie down for a while." Wade inserted.

Scarlett's face was a pale as her name was vibrant. Rhett reached down and scooped her into his arms and carried her into her room. 

"Uncle Rhett, please be gentle with her. I know she is strong, but even the strongest have a breaking point." Wade admonished.

Rhett nodded, "I'm sorry that you had to witness that Wade. She is my wife and I promise to take good care of her."

Wade left the room to follow his own pursuits. Rhett set Scarlett on the bed. And then he deposited himself at the foot. She watched him warily. He moved closer and she moved away. 

"I'm sorry, Rhett, I should never have said that. You didn't kill Bonnie." She said quietly, as far from him on the bed as she could be.

"But I did Scarlett. I let her. She threw her little tantrum, and I let her as I always did." Rhett stated regretfully.

"But Rhett, you didn't know. You couldn't have known. You would never have let her if you had." Scarlett said with all sincerity.

"But I killed our baby as well, and I almost killed you." The grief seemed to be eating him from the inside. He was rotting from the inside as the grief constricted his heart. His head bent as he rubbed his temples with his fingers.

"No, you didn't. If I hadn't tried to slap you…"

"Scarlett, I said '"Cheer up, maybe you'll have a miscarriage." And then you fell, and I was sure that you were dead. And then maybe if you called to me, but you didn't, you didn't want me at all." Rhett stated dejectedly.

"Rhett, you didn't do it." Scarlett implored. He gazed at her as if she were the Devil himself.

"I can't do this Scarlett. Not now, not ever. They are gone, and we are over forever." He rose from the bed and hurriedly left the room. Scarlett ripped a boot off of her foot and threw it with all of her strength. She could hear him laughing from the other side of the door. "What no vases by your bed, Mrs. Butler?" And she could hear the muffled sound of his footsteps going away, and she wanted to cry, but more than that she wanted to cry in Rhett's arms. But obviously the occasion hadn't presented itself. And so she sat silently on the bed rubbing her arms where he had held her and fuming as she planned her next attack.

\/p> 


	8. She Knows no Limits

\/p>

Chapter Eight

Scarlett writhed between the covers as she slept. The fog was so thick, maddenly so. It swirled and churned around her. There was an inescapable feeling as if it were a rope coiling and uncoiling like a noose around her neck. She could see faces suspended in the fog. She was hungry, so hungry, and they were calling out the same. The hunger gnawed at her, tore through her. Wade's little face was pinched and pale. Melly didn't cry, but that only made it worse. She could see the desperate hunger in her face. And Suellen and Careen and Mammy and Prissy….All of the faces were swirling around, their eyes if not their words imploring her looking to her for direction. And she ran, blindly, without knowing where she was going or what she was looking for. Her lungs screamed as she ran through the fog as it turned into thick, black, choking smoke. She could not breathe. And she couldn't find her way. And the terror washed over her in waves. She could feel the heat searing her as it had in that terrifying night when she had escaped from Atlanta and the terror was even greater than that night. In the smoke she could hear a babies cry, her babies cry. And she continued to struggle, it would not defeat her.

And then suddenly she was safe and protected. She was afraid to open her eyes to find that Rhett was not holding her, but it was only a dream. She clung to him. "You are safe." He cooed.

Her breath came in shuddering gasps. Her heart was beating furiously like a caged bird. And Rhett held her in his arms as he once held his daughter. "My baby… My baby…" she moaned still not fully able to break free of the nightmare that tormented her nearly nightly now.

"Scarlett, look at me." He firmly commanded.

Her eyes fluttered open and she stopped fighting him. Her eyes were startlingly green as they gazed into his. "O, Rhett, it was terrible." She sobbed.

"It was only a dream, Scarlett. Hush." He soothed. "Do you often have nightmares of the baby?" he asked his voice unusually gentle and soft.

"No, not normally, not until Bonnie…" she couldn't finish the sentence her eyes closed not wanting to reveal the hurt in her eyes. Rhett could read her like a book. He understood her like no one else.

They both paused for a moment, reflecting on their bright and wonderful little girl who had left them much too quickly.

Rhett finally chose to break the silence. "Scarlett, what did Wade mean when he said that you weren't well?" Rhett inquired with a momentary flash of something unexplainable in his eyes.

Scarlett opened her mouth to speak, but she couldn't find the words. "Scarlett, I have a right to know," Rhett demanded.

She opened her eyes and began to explain the situation. "It was when I lost the baby, you haven't… you weren't around much…" But then something stopped and she could not continue. "I didn't tell Wade anything. He just realized something was wrong on the train home from Tara. Or he thought he realized." She glanced around the room, anything to keep from looking into his eyes. "I'm fine, Rhett." She added flippantly.

"You are not fine." He growled. "Even your eleven year old son can see it."

Her lips pursed and her brow furrowed as she glared at him. "I will take care of myself. I've just been tired, that's all."

"Fine, don't tell me. I'll just be leaving at the end of the week anyway. I figured with the panic going on that I might as use it as the opportunity to keep more gossip at bay. Not that you are ever above gossip. I think the gossip mill in Atlanta could run exclusively on tales of you." He chuckled, amused by his own statement. "But I'm not staying." He rose and let himself out of the room as she balled her fists and fought to stay in control desperately trying to refrain from screaming something she might regret at his retreating form.

Rhett paused outside the door and leaned against the wall. He couldn't leave her like she was. He knew that she must not be healthy if even Wade could see it. Somehow he had to get it out of her. No matter what it cost him, he had to know what was wrong with her. For a moment he considered consulting Dr. Meade, but of course that would include the older gentleman into their private affairs and he would also know that something was wrong in the Butler home. But he knew that he would have to discover what was wrong, simply to keep her from killing herself. Scarlett had no limits, and she seemed totally unaware of danger, much like Bonnie's recklessness. He couldn't save Bonnie, but maybe he could save her mother.

\/p> 


	9. Ashley's Announcment

Chapter Nine 

Rhett smirked as he opened the door into Scarlett's room. He knew he might catch her in some compromising situation and it amused him greatly. He opened the door to find her sitting at her vanity brushing her hair so that it crackled and shone. She turned when he spoke. "Ah, Scarlett, some things never change."

Rhett fought back against the urge to take the brush from her and brush it himself. He loved the feel of running his fingers through her hair, but he knew that touching in the slightest might weaken his resistance even more than it was already weakening at the site of her. He had lied, he still loved her, but he was too raw from his precious babies death. He couldn't allow her to have power over him now. He'd once told her that he wasn't in love with her. He had causally remarked that if he ever were in love with her that she would be the last person that he would tell. He further stated that "God help the man who ever really loves you. You'd break his heart, my darling, cruel, destructive little cat who is so careless and confident she doesn't even trouble to sheathe her claws."

And he hadn't told her. But now she knew. 

But she wouldn't be his destruction. 

"Scarlett, I'm going to Washington. I'm going to take the children." He told her directly, there was no question in his statement, he was his usual brash and authoritative self.

"O, Rhett, you can't taking them up North. Surely your joking." Scarlett said with a knowing smile. "Why you would never take my children up among those nasty Yankees."

"O, but I most assuredly am not jesting. I think it will be good for them, and it isn't terribly far north. I think they would benefit from seeing the nations capitol." He assured her.

"Over my dead body!" She exclaimed. "O Rhett, you are vile. I don't want my children around the Yankees. The nations capitol, God's Nightgown Rhett, then take them to Richmond." Scarlett loudly protested.

Rhett chuckled, "You might have considered that before you let them play with the Scallywags and Carpetbaggers. Now you can come or not, but I am leaving and Wade and Ella are going with me as well. We might even swing up to Boston so that Wade can see the college has dreamed of going to."

Scarlett frowned at him and turned back to the mirror. "Vanity, vanity Scarlett. The mirror will still be there in the morning." Rhett grinned knowing that he had won this battle. He left the room whistling, when he was gone she turned and glared at the place where had recently stood. She wanted to throw something, but she knew that it would only amuse him more.

The ground that so recently had been nothing but a bog, was now dry and cracked. Scarlett pulled the reigns as the horse and carriage bumped along the road to the mills. She shuddered as the horses quickly raced around the bend in the road above Shantytown. The dust flew up into her face, nearly choking her. She set her jaw with grim determination. She was going to see Ashley. She knew Rhett would be furious, but she needed to let him know what was going on. 

She scanned the yard that was full of darkies as she pulled in, but Ashley was no where to be scene. She exited the carriage and headed towards the office. She found him seated at the desk with his head in his hands. The office was in terrible disarray as papers and other items littered the normally carefully organized surface. As she entered, Ashley lifted his gaze to the door. His pale gray eyes held such grief and loss that it tore Scarlett in two to look into them. They were as despairing as a stormy day. 

"Scarlett." he greeted her in a flat dull tone that held no warmth and no life. 'What brings you here?"

"O, well, I was just thinking about you. And I had to know how the mill was doing. Even though its been a while, I still miss them sometimes." She simpered.

His eyes followed her as she paced the room, back and forth, back and forth. "Scarlett, please will you take a seat? Scarlett, I must make a confession. I've decided that I'm going to find someone else to run the mills for a while. I just can't bear it. I haven't the strength that you do." 

Scarlett's eyes flashed angrily "You're giving up the mill?" she screeched. "But I worked so hard and…" she trailed off realizing that what she was saying had no value to him. "O Fiddle dee dee, like this silly little mill ever mattered a whit to me."

At this a faint ghost of a smile crossed Ashley's face. "Scarlett, you are such a terrible liar. Hasn't anyone ever told you that?"

"Well what do you want me to say? That I am terribly upset about it, that I think you're a fool to do so. Would that make you feel better?" She demanded.

"Scarlett, I'm not selling them. I've decided to accept a position as a professor at Harvard. They have asked me to join the faculty in the masters program. I just need to get away from Atlanta. I'll return. But for the moment, I dread returning home and not finding Melly there." Ashley sighed the pain almost visible in the air between them. "And then in the summer's Beau and I will return to Twelve Oaks. At the Sheriff's sale, no one wanted it. And so I bought it back. It may never have the grandeur it once held, but my son will get to see Twelve Oaks again." Ashley finished.

"Why Ashley, you're going North?" Scarlett said in a tone that implied he was doing something akin to murder.

"Scarlett, I have to leave. I can't stay here and see the town that we lived in. I can't do it. I'm not strong like you. I never have been. Sometimes I wonder if everyone wouldn't have been better off with me dead. Sometimes I almost wish I'd never come home from the war. Melanie would still be alive. And I would never have to see the ruins of Twelve Oaks. And Scarlett, you would have had a better chance at loving Rhett. I led you on. I talk so often about gallantry and honor, yet I have none. Nor do I possess any bravery or valor."

"O Ashley, you mustn't talk like that." Scarlett soothed. "You are a gentleman, you are so brave and so strong." She spoke the words, but even she understood that they weren't true. She spoke them for Melly and for Wade.

"Ahhh, well I see that Scarlett, you have finally come to claim your stupid Ashley for yourself." Rhett's voice came booming from the doorway. He leaned casually against the doorframe, filling it completely. His face was almost indiscernible as the light flooded behind him, masking his face in the shadows.

"O Rhett," Scarlett exclaimed. "What are you doing here?"

"I came to see my ex-wide make a fool of her self. The gossip mill already told me that you were here." He said in a lazy, flat voice.

"Rhett," Ashley spoke. "She doesn't love me. She loves you. Can't you see it?"

"O I can see that she thinks she loves me, but she thought she loved you for all of those years and now she says she was wrong." Rhett spoke quietly, dangerously. His normally placid or laughing eyes dared Scarlett to refute him. 

"I was just telling Scarlett that I am moving up North." Ashley said without elaboration.

"Ahh, well how convenient, I can leave Scarlett when we go visit and then I can be done with her."

"Your ex-wife? Surely you aren't going to divorce her. She would be ruined." Ashley defended.

"Ahh, yes, but Scarlett was ruined long ago. And if we divorce than she is free to join you in your bed." Rhett drawled. Scarlett knew the signs, Rhett was drunk And Rhett was a mean drunk when he went past the limit. As she approached him, she could smell the liquor. And she could see his bloodshot eyes boring holes through her. 

"Rhett Butler, you are severely inebriated. I'm going home now. Alone." Scarlett tossed her head and tried to slide past Rhett.

"You'll do no such thing." His words pierced the air, and Ashley looked away as if unable to face the scene in front of him.

Rhett grabbed Scarlett and forced her to walk close by his side until he lifted her into the seat of the carriage. His horse had been tied to the back of the carriage, and Rhett took the reigns from her hands. "If you recall, coming out here alone has been detrimental to your well being before. And I can't see the honorable Mr. Wilkes doing anything about it."

Scarlett seethed as she watched Rhett drive. She had done nothing wrong. "Rhett, you are just being vindictive."

"O really Scarlett? May I remind you what happened to your second husband?" He spoke crisply and clearly.

Scarlett refused to look him in the face. But settled into her set and allowed him to drive her back to town, knowing that there was nothing that she had power to do.


	10. Traveling to the Traitors

Chapter Ten 

The noise was incessant. The clacking of the wheels never stopped. Her head pounded as the sounds wore on and on. Not that it was like the siege and the fighting and the cannons. But it stole into her brain regardless. She was powerless to fight. Her face grew ashen and her lips settled into a firm line as the trip wore on and on. Ella fidgeted in the seat beside her. She was giggling and happy. But Scarlett could scarcely hear her chatter over the drone of the noises of the train.

"Mother," Wade turned in his seat to check on her. "Mother!" He turned to Rhett who was his seat companion. "Uncle Rhett, look at her! Do something!" Wade cried.

With one glance Rhett could see the agony that she was in. "Ella, I would like to sit by your mother for a while. Can you please sit beside Wade?" Rhett spoke in a careful, calm voice to the seven year old girl. Ella quickly rose and joined her brother as Rhett slipped into the recently vacated seat. "You fool!" He exclaimed. "You should have told me that you were in no condition to travel."

She glanced at him, her eyes filled with pain. "I'm sorry Rhett, a few more days and I will be fine." 

"What do you mean, Scarlett?" Rhett implored. 

"It only hurts like this, you know, at certain times of my cycle." She whispered in a quiet voice, as she blushed furiously.

"Scarlett, you are a fool. You should have let me know and we could have waited for a better time to travel." Rhett groaned in a condescending tone.

But one look at her face and he knew that now was not the time to lecture. It was too late to bother with. He gathered her into his arms and brushed an errant hair off of her forehead. Her eyes closed, and her strength left her. In his arms was the one place where she didn't need to be strong. She sighed quietly and let him be strong when she needed him to be.

By the time the train finally arrived in Washington, everyone inside of it was coated in black soot from the engine. Scarlett struggled to stand, but she held her head high and walked as if she had not been in pain ever. The children followed her and Rhett out onto the platform. "They are planning on building a new station, I hear." Rhett told the children. 

"What are we going to do here, Uncle Rhett? What can we do?" Ella chattered excitedly.

"Well, I thought you should see the Capitol and the Smithsonian Castle. There is said to be quite a collection of things in there." Rhett told her patiently. 

"Rhett, can you please get us a coach?" Scarlett asked in an exhausted tone.

"Actually I am waiting on a dear friend to arrive. He has invited us to his home." Rhett told her.

"O Rhett, you mean we are staying in a home with Yankees?" Scarlett was truly horrified.

"O don't worry, they are good Yankees, darling." Rhett chuckled.

"Good Yankees! Great Balls of Fire Rhett! There isn't such a thing." Scarlett refused to even listen.

A gentleman rushed up to them and greeted them warmly. "Rhett, it is such a pleasure to see you again. I haven't seen you much since you and I worked together. And these are your children and your wife, I assume. I am John Hall." He shook first Wade's hand and then kissed Ella's. "You my dear will be beautiful," He flattered Ella, who smiled vibrantly up at him and for a moment stood still as if transfixed by him. "And Rhett, your wife is stunning. I don't know where I've ever seen such a beautiful woman."

"Yes, this is my wife, Scarlett. And these are our children – Wade and Ella." He gestured to each child in turn.

"Are you a Yankee?" Ella quizzed.

"Yes, I am little lady." He replied.

She laughed, "the way mother talks I thought Yankees must have horns and be terrible looking."

Scarlett was embarrassed, but Wade quickly stepped in, "Ella, please! That was rude!" He then turned to the man. "I'm so sorry sir; we have never been up North before."

Rhett grinned in amusement as he watched Scarlett squirm. Wade was such a little diplomat. He had the calm collected nature of his father, but with the iron will of his mother. 

John seemed amused by Ella, rather than offended. "If it helps any, my wife, Sarah, was raised in Virginia."

Ella blushed furiously, sensing that Wade was correct in her rudeness. Ella ducked her head and quietly followed everyone to the waiting coach.

On the drive to the Hall's home, Wade and Ella were entranced by the view out of the window. "Look at the trolleys!" Wade cried. "Uncle Rhett, can we ride one?" 

Rhett smiled indulgently. "Of, course, as long as your mother is feeling up to it."

After a short drive, they pulled up to a beautiful town house. Candles glowed in the windows, and darkies appeared to help everyone out of the carriage. "My wife's family gave her the servants as slaves when we married, but some of them chose to stay despite the Emancipation. They are terribly loyal." This eased Scarlett's mind somewhat. she really wasn't staying in a Yankee's home. It wasn't a Yankee home with the former slaves and a Virginian mistress.

Sarah Hamilton Hall was a lady, born and bred. She graciously welcomed the Butlers into her home with a gentleness and genuine sweetness that reminded Scarlett of Melanie for a moment. She immediately showed them to their rooms, and asked if they needed anything. "I'll send a tray up to your rooms. I'm sure that the trip was taxing. If you need anything, please ring the bell." She indicted a rope in the corner of the room. "It rings in the servants quarters below."

"Thank you," Scarlett told her gratefully.

As soon as the door closed, Scarlett sagged against it. The trip had been more tiring on her than she cared to admit. She slowly made her way across the room to the bed. She lay down on it, not bothering to remove anything. Her eyes fluttered closed as the agony of the day washed over her in waves.

She did not stir when Rhett entered the room. He didn't feel right explaining the situation of his marriage, even to a friend. And so he and Scarlett would share a room. He gazed with compassion at Scarlett; she looked so pale and innocent. It was in moments like these that he allowed himself to see her as he longed to see her. He went to the bed and carefully unbuttoned her dress and removed it. She was limp in his arms like a rag doll. He held her to him as he unlaced her corset. She did not stir, so deep was her exhaustion induced sleep. He allowed himself to hold her in moments like these. And these moments had to be enough. He couldn't let her see that he still cared. And so he tucked into the bed and slipped between the covers himself. He watched her as her breathing grew deep and even. He closed his eyes and savored the moment, not knowing the next time that it would come again.


	11. Confusion in the Capitol

_Author's note. Thanks for the reviews! I can't guarentee that I can continue to post chapters as quickly as I have been, but I hope that you enjoy this chapter and this story. And I'd love to hear your guesses of what happens at the end of this chapter._

Chapter Eleven

Scarlett awakened slowly; the long journey to Washington was nothing but a blur to her. She opened her eyes to find Rhett staring at her. "Would you like some help getting dressed?" He questioned.

And she lay quietly thinking for a moment that she didn't remember getting in bed last night. "Rhett, I don't remember much about last night," She confessed honestly.

"O don't worry about you modesty, darling. I'm the one who undressed you and put you to bed. You were so worn out that you didn't even stir." Scarlett glared at him, knowing that he had seen her at the moments when she had been the most vulnerable. "Are you feeling any better today?" He asked with the mask covering any expression in his eyes.

"I feel better, it usually only lasts a day or two." She said no more and rose from the bed. She pulled a dress from the wardrobe, but Rhett snatched it away. 

"If we are going to share a bed and bedroom, then let me help by preventing your assured humiliation in your clothing choices," he smirked.

He replaced the overly showy dress that she had chosen and pulled an emerald one out instead. "Here, maybe at least you won't embarrass the children in this one." She snatched the dress from his hand. "Oh, come here Scarlett. Let me lace you into your corset. I'd rather to just hurry and have you dressed."

They quarreled the entire time that they were getting ready. And it felt like old times for a moment, and Scarlett wondered how she had ever been so foolish as to not see how amazing that her husband was.

Everyone gathered in the Halls dining room for breakfast. The table was loaded down with platters of tempting dishes. There were buttery, flaky biscuits beside jars of sweet jams. Scarlett's mouth watered. Everyone began serving themselves, and it quickly turned into a genial, lively atmosphere. 

"So, Scarlett," Sarah began. "What are your plans for the day?" 

Scarlett, whose mouth was full of a large bite of sausage, could not speak for a moment. She could hear Rhett chuckle under his breath. When she finally had swallowed, she acknowledged that she had no idea what was on the agenda for the day. 

Rhett came to her rescue. "We are going down to the mall and I thought the children might enjoy the Smithsonian." He inserted.

Sarah and John began telling the Butler's about the interesting things to be seen at the Smithsonian. They discussed the town and told of the things that were to come. "They are building a monument to President Washington, but because of everything they had to halt work on it. By the time they get it completed, by I wouldn't be surprised if the stone was a different color." Sarah said with a laugh.

"It reminds me of that tower in Pisa." John chuckled.

"Let's just hope that the foundation is sturdier on this one." Sarah laughed.

Scarlett glanced at each of them in confusion. She had no earthly idea what they were talking about. "Have you ever seen it, Scarlett?" Sarah asked sweetly.

Scarlett blushed, and Rhett, once again, came to her rescue. "Unfortunately, she was too young to have seen Europe before the war, and now she has been so busy we haven't taken the time to go to Italy."

Wade bubbled excitedly, "Uncle Ashley told me all about it. Oh, Uncle Rhett can Wade and I go someday?" He quizzed.

Rhett assured him that he was planning on sending him on a Grand Tour of his own. Scarlett remained silent, for she knew that if she spoke she would only belie her ignorance.

"I'm so sorry you had to arrive at the train station looking so poorly, just last year they gave land from the mall to build a new station, but it will be years before it is complete." Sarah apologized. Scarlett smiled at her, and then shifted the focus to a subject she was competent at discussing—fashion.

They took the street cars down to the Capitol. Rhett insisted that the children needed to see it. And then from there they went to the mall. "During the war, there were soldiers camped here the entire time. There were grand plans for this site when they built this city. I wonder if they will ever be realized."

But Scarlett was not listening. A wave of homesickness washed over her that was so strong that she nearly cried. It was as if the ghosts of her childhood surrounded her. She could almost feel the spirits of her old Beaux. She felt the gaze of someone staring at her. She heard a voice long forgotten. She turned and stared into eyes that she knew so well. And she didn't believe it. She didn't understand it. She could not breathe. Air did not exist anymore. And for one of the few times in her life, the world spun out of control, out of her control, and blackness enveloped her. And she saw no more.


	12. A Voice Long Forgotten

A.N. I was so excited about the ending of that chapter. I hope you all enjoyed it as much as I did. I'm a little drained, so there might not be an update for a few days, no guarentee on that though :)

Chapter Twelve

She struggled to open her eyes against the harsh early autumn sunlight. She was in Rhett's arms that she knew. She struggled to remember what had happened. Her hand flew to her mouth as she gasped. Her eyes began to focus on the man kneeling before her. His eyes stared blankly at her. "Why, Honey," he drawled. "Do I know you? I feel like I know you." She took in the lanky frame and auburn hair and stared at the man in confusion. Her breathing came in short gasps as she tried to comprehend the situation. Rhett's arms tightened around her, offering comfort and support. 

He had aged, as the war had aged them all. She knew that he must be in his early thirties now. And in his eyes there was still some glimmer of humor. She tried to speak, but no words came. As the sun clears the morning fog, so her face began to clear his mind. "I do know you. I don't know how I know you, but I couldn't forget those eyes. Scarlett, honey?" He whispered.

Scarlett eyes sparkled looked at Rhett. He didn't understand. No one else here knew. She struggled to rise, and Rhett quickly helped her to her feet. The man before her rose too. 

"Ma,am…" he said. "Do you know me?" There was confusion in his eyes-- an odd mixture of realization and confusion. "I haven't known who I was since the war. But your voice, you sound like home, even though I don't know where home is." He confessed.

She glanced at Rhett helplessly. She took courage from his gaze, and then suddenly she found her voice. "Brent?" She whispered. "Is it really you?"

The look on Rhett's face was one of shock and surprise, but he could see it too. Scarlett's hand reached out and touched Brent's face. "But you're dead. They said that you were dead. They said you died right after Stuart." Her mind flashed back to the conversation with Mrs. Tarleton

_--they died almost at the same time. Stuart first and_

_then Brent who caught up the flag he dropped._

"Stuart?" Brent rolled around the name in his mouth, tasting it for familiarity. "That name seems so familiar, more than the name you said was mine. It feels like a part of me." 

"Rhett," said Scarlett breathlessly, "Can we please go back to the Hall's?" She turned back to her former Beau. "Brent, you need to come with us, you have to come with us." She pleaded.

"I don't believe I've ever been able to tell you no. I feel pretty certain about that." He said with laughter in his eyes. And he followed them back to the street cars and rode with them back to the Hall's.

"What do you remember" asked Scarlett, who was perched on the edge of her seat like a Falcon ready to fly.

"I woke up in a hospital. And no one knew me, and I guess I don't remember much at all. They say I must have gotten shot in the shoulder earlier in the war. But I don't remember it. I guess the only thing I do remember is that I had this tremendous feeling like I had lost my best friend and a part of me in the fighting" was his reply.

"I'm still struggling to understand this, but your name is Brent…Brent Tarleton. You were raised down the road from me in Clayton County, Georgia. We were great friends growing up. And then in the years before the war you… you and Stuart were my favorite beaux."

"Who was he?" His eyes did not laugh. His eyes were somber at this question, as if even not remembering his twin he still felt the loss of him. 

"He was your twin brother. They said that you died right after he did. They said that you picked up the flag that he dropped and died fighting." Scarlett chewed her lip. "You were engaged to my little sister after I married." She continued.

"I must have been fighting mad about you getting married." He said with a smile masking the pain. He pulled from his pocket a small pencil drawing, very carefully done. "This was the only thing on me." Scarlett looked at the paper and could see without question that the eyes staring at her from the paper were the eyes of Careen. 

"That's my baby sister, that's Careen." Scarlett choked out the words as her hands shook violently.

"They said that they found me shot in the head in the top of a pile of rebel dead. But by some miracle I was alive. They almost left me, but they took pity on me because I was wearing a blue coat." He paused for a moment, "but it wasn't my coat, was it?"

"It took two weeks for me to come around, and for a long time, all I could do was lay there. Then they started asking me who I was, and I had no idea." His face hardened. "For some reason, I knew that I hated the color blue!" His voice had laughter in it, but the light still didn't dance in his eyes.

Brent looked at Rhett, "but it wasn't you she married, was it?" He could see, he could tell that somehow, although he knew nothing about this man that he was equal to the challenge of Scarlett. "You didn't love the man you married, and my brother and I both fought you on it. I am certain of it." There was a vigor and an alertness in his face and hadn't been there earlier. 

"No I didn't love Charles" she confessed as soon as she was certain that Wade had not come back into the room.

"Well, I am mighty sorry to have lost you… but what about your sister… I must have loved her too…" he searched for information.

"Careen… she never got over your death. She became a nun." Scarlett finished. "She's in a convent in Charleston."

"Did any of my family make it through the war?" he continued.

"Your mother and father and four sisters are still living in the area. The Yankees burned the house down, but your mother is breeding horses again, and they rebuilt the house. But Tom and Boyd… they didn't make." Scarlett mourned with him as she had to explain the losses that he didn't remember.

"My mother is alive?" He sighed allowing the things that he had found replace the things that he had lost in the same moment. "And I have sisters and a father." He gazed into Scarlett's eyes, "Do they miss me?"

"Great Ball of Fire, Brent! Your mother was lost without her horses and her boys! She's only now coming back to life." Scarlett told him. 

And they set there in silence for a moment, a moment of joy, and a moment of sadness. It was a moment of greatest loss as well of a moment of greatest gain. For although it had been 10 years since his death, Brent was losing his brother's all over again. But also he had gained after ten years of knowing nothing a knowledge of who he was and who he had been. And a little part of the South came back alive in that instant.

Autor's note so the detail I changed was that in the book Brent's body was found, Boyd's body was never reclaimed. 


	13. How Does This Change things?

Author's Note Thanks for all of the reviews. The reason that I'm updating so quickly is that I'm impatient to see what comes. I don't always know what's going to happen until it does, well at least not too far in advance, there are general goals that have been set, but the excitement is in writing each chapter!

Chapter 13

Scarlett sat at the vanity brushing her hair. She began thinking over the day. They had sent a telegram to Fairhill, but it had been vague. The truth of Brent's survival was not something to be conveyed in an abbreviated, hasty message. Brent had since went to the place where he lived and returned with his meager possessions. She had planned such things for this trip. The moment Rhett told her that she could come; all of the fire had evaporated from her fight. Every moment she spent with him was another moment that she had to make him love her again. She would rather face the Yankees again than lose him forever.

Rhett entered the room quietly. "My darling Scarlett," he chuckled. "So how does this latest revelation change things?"

Scarlett gasped. Surely he understood that this had changed nothing for her. She looked at him, the confusion obvious in her eyes when she noticed that his eyes were blood shot. "It changes nothing; I am still a married woman."

"That can be corrected," he grinned. And although he was holding his liquor as he normally did, she could tell. She could see that he was jealous. He somehow thought that she would be content to leave him for Brent.

"Oh, Rhett!" she fumed. "I told you I don't want to be divorced!"

He could see it in her eyes – the passion, the adoration that she had for him. He knew she had to be wondering how her love didn't change a thing. But he had to keep that part of himself walled off. He had to bar himself from feeling those feelings. But he was powerless. The alcohol had worn the edges off of his resistance. She trembled as watched him move nearer. She felt it in the air. She half rose from her seat, turning to face him. And then his lips were upon hers. It was like fire shooting through her veins. It was like rockets from the 4th of July bursting in the air. His kisses were so insistent, so demanding that she could scarcely breathe. He pulled her closer to himself, their bodies molding together, fitting like pieces of a puzzle.

And then he pulled away.

"We can't do this Scarlett. I don't love you anymore." He told her coldly.

"But you do love me, you wouldn't kiss me like that if you didn't," she proclaimed.

"Scarlett you are still such a child! Will you never grow up?" He turned away from her and walked to the bed. He pulled a blanket and a pillow from it and dropped them on the floor. "Don't worry; the floor is a fine bed for me." 

Scarlett could do nothing but watch him. She went to the bed and climbed between the covers. She closed her eyes and listened to the silence of the room, only broken by the sound of his breathing.


	14. Returning from the Dead

Chapter 14

The next morning dawned bright and clear. The five of them boarded the train and headed south. They made a brief stop to spend the night in Richmond, because Rhett amusingly told the children that he wanted them to see the former capitol of the Confederacy. Brent was still too much in shock to understand Rhett's version of humor. Scarlett fumed that he made it seem like it was his idea.

She was shocked at how very close Richmond was to Washington. In her minds eye, they were worlds apart. But they were not. 

They did not have a great deal of time to spend there, but they found their way through the town. Only a few years before there had been a devastating flood wash through the town. There were still signs of its path. Much like when Atlanta fell, the troops had set fire to the warehouses here as well in April 1865. The town was rebuilding, but still the land was marked by the fire that destroyed a great deal of the town. 

As they drove past the Virginia State Capitol, Rhett told them what he had read in the newspaper only a few years back. There had been too many people in the building and the third floor had collapsed. For some reason the town depressed Scarlett. This was the town that the entire Confederacy had counted on. And like everything around them, it had fallen too.

The following morning, they continued their journey south. But they were not going directly to Atlanta and on to Jonesboro. Brent had requested that they travel to Charleston. He somehow felt he owed Careen an explanation.

When they finally arrived, they were all exhausted. Rhett hired a carriage, and they rode to Rhett's mother's house on the Battery. Rhett's mother was delighted to see them. Rhett had not explained to her any of the problems in their marriage. And so Scarlett found herself sleeping in the room that had been most definitely designed with her husband in mind.

During the trip they had lapsed into a familiar pattern. Rhett could so easily slip into the masquerade of being the ever devoted husband. Instead of calling for a maid to help Scarlett, Rhett simply took care of the task making life seem almost right.

The next morning was cool and damp. The air was always damp here. They prepared for the day and then headed to the Convent to visit Careen.

They were welcomed into a small parlor. It was an inviting room, sparsely decorated, but warmly so. 

Careen was only sent information that her sister and family were there to visit. 

She entered the room quietly. Careen had always been the quietest of the O'Hara sisters. And the years had not changed her. The prayers that had continually been on her lips, still seemed to have just paused. The rosary of her mother was still in her hand. It had been seven years since Scarlett had seen her. She still looked the same. Her gentle eyes and gentle voice reminded Scarlett so strongly of her mother. Careen was focused on seeing her sister and niece and nephew that she didn't notice the men. She exclaimed sweetly over the children, in manner that immediately captured their hearts. She was as similar to Melanie as Scarlett was different. 

But then her gaze lifted, and she saw something that she had to believe was an allusion. She closed her eyes, the prayers resumed. Then she opened them again. And he was still before her. Her eyes grew wide. Her face grew pale. Hot tears began to slip from her eyes. But she did not move. The tears coursed down her face — tears of relief and of joy. No one spoke a word. Through the walls the noises of the outside world faintly entered. Even Ella understood that there were no words.

Careen gazed at his face. Then she looked deep into his eyes. And there was a connection. Somehow he knew her, without knowing her. "Brent?" She finally spoke her voice nothing but a gentle whisper. 

His eyes blinked as if awakening from a deep sleep. "I think so," were the only words he could find.

"But they said you were dead." Her eyes were glassy. "I've been praying for you for ten years, but you are alive." She seemed dazed.

Scarlett began to step in to explain the situation, but Rhett help her back. He looked into her eyes and without words told her not to speak.

With stutters and stammers, he began. He explained how he had awakened and what he had learned of what had happened to him. Although it had only been a few days, it had been enough to give him time to begin processing the life he had lived. He told her slowly of where he had been and why he hadn't returned. 

And all too soon the time was up, and the meeting was over. And they left Careen there, alone with her rosary, and her prayers, and her dreams -- while the answer to her prayers walked away.


	15. Still the Unknown soldier

Chapter 15

In the soft light pouring through the stained glass windows, Careen knelt in prayer. Since they had left, her lips had not ceased to move. Her face was taut. Her eyes were closed, unseeing of the beauty of the room around her. It was soon to be time for her to make her solemn vow. The time of her temporary vow was nearly at an end. And now for the first time since she had entered the convent, she questioned whether she should go ahead. A day before the answer would have been automatic. But now there was a question. And there was a light in her eyes that had flickered and died a decade before. It was not that Careen desired less to please God, but God had granted a prayer that she had not even dare pray. Brent was not dead. 

All the way to Atlanta and on to Jonesboro, Brent stared out the window thinking of the woman he had just met. He looked at the countryside trying to see it through eyes that had seen it before. But he did not recognize it. Not one stone seemed to be anything he had seen before. He caught Scarlett staring at him. "I'm sorry, I'm trying to remember, and I can't."

Scarlett nodded, "It doesn't look the same. In some ways yes, but it isn't the same as when you left." She felt Rhett's gaze upon her. She often felt that he was watching her, and she didn't quite understand it. They had somehow reached a quiet understanding. He was again the polite stranger that wore her ring. And she missed his laughing mocking eyes. She missed the Rhett of the early days of her marriage.

They had only stayed in Charleston for a few days. The children had loved it. They had loved Grandmother Eleanor immediately, for she was the only grandmother that they would ever know. But Scarlett was not fond of the town for it still possessed the inner decorum that it had at the start of the war. Scarlett longed for the rush and vitality of Atlanta with more passion than ever. Charleston would never be her home.

When they reached Jonesboro, Brent followed them out onto the platform as a child follows a parent. It had been mere weeks since Scarlet had been there. The October air was still warm as it blew around them. Will was to be picking them up from the station in the new carriage that Scarlett had purchased for the plantation. Will as always had protested, but Scarlett paid him no heed.

"This is Jonesboro. We are about five miles from Fairhill. The town was nearly destroyed during the war. There was battle fought on the city streets." Scarlett told him as he silently looked around. The silence was not his nature, but even in the silence there was a vigor and alertness to him had he had always possessed.

When Will arrived at the station, he climbed awkwardly out and offered the reigns to Rhett. He had tied a horse behind the carriage so that he could let them ride alone.

"Good morning Scarlett, Captain Butler." He gazed dimly at Brent, "You look mighty familiar" he commented. "I feel as if I should know you." But of course he didn't know Brent. For by the time he had arrived at Tara, Brent was already gone. 

"Scarlett, Suellen asked me to see if you would be at Tara for supper," Will added

"Tell her that I think we won't be there until later." Scarlett replied.

And Will climbed onto the horse and rode away. Scarlett and the children climbed into the carriage, allowing Brent and Rhett to sit up front. They would have to stop at Tara to leave the children, but they needed to get to the Tarleton's soon, for someone might recognize Brent and his family should be the first to know that he was alive.

Author's note:

_That's all at least until this evening! Enjoy reading! Thanks for you reviews! I treasure them!_


	16. Home Was in the Air

**Chapter 16**

Brent could feel it. There was still nothing he remembered. But he felt it, he could feel home. It surpassed logic and all understanding. But he knew that he was almost home. Even in Washington, somehow Scarlett thought that he had remembered her name, but he hadn't. As she fainted Rhett was calling her name. He still remembered nothing.

They pulled up the drive to Fairhill. Scarlett appraised it with critical eyes. She tried to see it as she thought Brent might. The closer to the house they came, the more tension seemed to be suspended in the air. Finally Brent leapt from the carriage and began looking around at the place that he had lived. The feeling in the air was familiar, although it was lacking something. But without knowing anyone, without anyone telling him, he would have known that he was home.

He walked over the paddock and watched the horses. It was there where he stood when Beatrice came outside. At first her warm greetings were only for Scarlett and Rhett. But then Scarlett directed her to where Brent stood. Scarlett didn't know how to tell her. She didn't know how anyone could find the right words, and so a simple hand gesture was all that she could manage.

Scarlett and Rhett could see by the look on her face that she still didn't understand. At her approach, he turned to face her. At first her face was blank, without any trace of emotion. And then the impassive face went white as she stared at a face that she still kept held to her heart. To her credit, she had been through too much to faint, even at this. Her hands trembled as she reached forward and traced his face with her hand. He stared at her unblinking, trying to ignite some memory, and his eyes grew soft at her touch. And finally words came, but not the words that any of them expected. "Where have you been, we thought you were dead, " she screamed.

He leapt back from the verbal assault that she had launched. He obviously didn't remember his mother's fire. "I don't have any memory." He confessed, on the verge of fleeing from this spitfire of a woman. And then the tears came. Her arms went around him, and she closed her eyes. She listened to the sound of his heart beating and felt the pulse of his pumping blood. Her son was alive and in her arms and the rest of the world faded away, until the yard was full to overflowing with the rest of the Tarletons, except form Besty and her husband.

No one quite seemed to know what to make of the situation. No one quite was prepared to deal with it, even though it was an incredible twist of fate. But they all took their turns hugging and holding him, while Scarlett and Rhett simple sat back and watched. Although that was not by choice on Scarlett's part. Rhett was virtually controlling her, "they deserve to hold him as family." he told her.

"But I am practically family." Scarlett countered with determination.

"But you aren't, you gave that up when you married Charles. You aren't family." Rhett explained.

Finally while Camilla, Randa, and Hetty all invited Scarlett and Rhett to stay, Beatrice led Brent to the side of the house and then down a path through the gardens. Scarlett knew without being told that Beatrice was going to show Brent where his brother's bodies lay. She knew of the beautiful monuments that lay under the funeral cedars in the family burial plot. And she and Rhett made their excuses and left the family to celebrate a life returned.

The sun was setting with brilliant colors, and the autumn air held a slight chill. The trees were beginning to turn and litter the road with their discarded wealth. But Rhett and Scarlett sat far apart on the seat, the pride not allowing them to lean on the other even as the exhaustion of the journey wore on them. On the road to Tara, Scarlett turned to Rhett, "Why didn't you let us stay there and eat with them?"

"Because they need to deal with this as a family. They need time to process before they have to play host and hostess to a pushy, albeit well meaning friend. They needed time alone, and I knew that you couldn't see it. And so I made the decision for you." He told her with finality. His eyes never left the road. His focus was not on her, but on the horses and it infuriated her.

She pouted her lips again. She sputtered as she tried to defend why they or at least she should have stayed. But every time she offered a reason, Rhett immediately shot it down. And so eventually Scarlett offered a grudging peace as they finished the journey. And they pulled into the lane bordered by pines and settled in to Tara for the night.


	17. Finally Fury Unleased

Chapter 17

The next day dawned cooler than the day before. Will agreed to collect the carriage from the station later, and the Butlers stopped by the Tarletons before they left. Brent seemed to be settling in, and Scarlett could see that soon practical jokes would be planted around the plantation as they once had, of course they would never be the same as when Brent had been able to rely on Stuart as his partner in crime. Beatrice thanked Scarlett and Rhett for bringing him home. There was a glow around her, evidence of the unsurpassable joy of having her son back. They all were sad to bid the Butlers farewell, but none as much as Brent.

"Scarlett, honey, I owe you so much!" He exclaimed. "Why if you hadn't seen me, I never probably would have come home."

Scarlett smiled her old smile, the one she had relied on always to charm her various Beaux. "O, Brent, I'm sure you would have figured it out eventually," she proclaimed fluttering her eyelashes in a becoming fashion.

Brent immediately denied this, "Scarlett, it had been ten years and I still knew nothing about who I was or where I had come from. Actually, I still know nothing. But I can feel it, I can feel that this is home. And I guess that's all I need to have." He hugged Scarlett, he knew he shouldn't. He knew that he was taking liberties some knowledge surpassing the lifetime of forgotten memories, but he pulled her into his arms regardless. "Scarlett, honey, I know you aren't happy right now." He confessed. "I can see it. I've had to learn to read people, and I can read the two of you."

Scarlett pulled away from him and looked into his eyes. "But I love Rhett," she told him.

"I can see that, I'm sure he can too, but sometimes, love must not be enough." He told her wisely. She pursed her lips as she listened. She didn't like what he had to say. So she bid him farewell ,and she walked away with his words ringing in her ears. She pondered them for a moment, "What if he was right, what if her love wasn't enough?" But she hurriedly brushed the thought aside. Nothing had stopped her yet. And nothing would stop her now. She was going to win Rhett back, and there was no point in even considering an alternate outcome.

By the time the arrived back in Atlanta, Scarlett was ready to be home. Wade was disappointed that they hadn't been able to see Harvard, but he was understanding about it as he always was. His life had been full of disappointments a lifetime full. He was so like his father, sweet and accepting. And he didn't say a word of complaint.

However, at the end of October, Rhett announced that he would be leaving until Christmas at the very earliest. He promised a large number of presents as a way to assuage his guilt at leaving the children. Ella smiled sweetly about it and went on her way, but somehow it unleashed the fury that had been dormant for a lifetime in Wade. He had been a sweet quiet child all of his life from the days in Atlanta during the war on. He had never been overly demanding, never much of a problem. Even during the siege in Atlanta and the nightmarish journey to Tara and the starving time there, he had only asked for food for an empty stomach. He had not been willful or overtly disobedient, at worst he had been shy and quiet and unashamedly bookish. And until now he had been too shy and too afraid to talk back to his mother or his stepfather. 

But now he unleashed the full force of his anger at Rhett who was preparing to leave from Atlanta with all of the passion of an O'Hara. "So now that you've decided that mother is fine, now that you've done your good deed, you are just leaving us." he challenged, looking more like Scarlett then Charles in that moment..

Rhett tried to deny that Scarlett's health had any bearing as to his departure, but Wade's anger was not dissipated. "She defended you. She said the only reason you were gone was to mourn Bonnie. But you weren't alone in that, we all miss Bonnie. But she lied didn't she. You left her, and you left us. But I guess the fact is that you don't really love us. You aren't really our father. Our fathers would have given anything to be here with us. You once said that I was all the son you ever needed, but you don't treat me like a son. And you don't treat Ella like she really is your daughter. You would never have treated Bonnie like this. You never would have left her."

Rhett sat quietly, listening to the boy's passion and fury as he had once listened to Scarlett's own anger directed at him. And Wade spoke words that Rhett would never have allowed Scarlett to speak, but listened patiently as they poured forth from Wade's mouth. "Ella needs a father. She doesn't remember hers, and I need a father too. Our father's didn't have a choice about leaving, but you do. You have the choice and you are just packing your bags and leaving. I never thought you were Coward, I've defended you many times saying that you were a hero. But Uncle Rhett I was wrong! You are a coward." His brown eyes danced with all of the fire of the Irish, and for the first time Scarlett saw him, not as Charles's son, but as her own. For she had never seen it, but he was very much like her. His passion ignited inside of him the beginnings of the man he would soon become. And both Scarlett and Rhett were amazed. Wade was nearly twelve. Soon he would be courting girls and finding his own place in the world. Rhett explained that he would be going on a business trip, and Wade was momentarily pacified, but it was not a permanent solution, and Rhett understood it even if Scarlett did not.

And so Rhett left, and Wade glared at him as he watched from his bedroom window walking away into the early morning light until he turned a corner and he could see hi no more..


	18. Christmas in the Air

_Author's Note Thank you everyone for the reviews. And a special thank you to those who aren't just reading this, but have been reading my writing for years Mom, Jana, and Desiree, who even thought that my diary was an amazing read._

**Chapter 18**

The days leading up to Christmas passed in a haze. The weather was not overly harsh, nor was it terribly welcoming. The three people living in the Peachtree street mansion seemed to almost tiptoe through the overwhelmingly large house. Bonnie's death was still fresh in their minds as they prepared the house with garlands of evergreen and red ribbons and many candles. Christmas had been Bonnie's favorite holiday, as it is with many children. But it was a hollow gesture to decorate because Christmas would not seem like Christmas with the losses of the previous year. Wade and Ella watched their mother carefully to see how well she was holding up, but Scarlett was still Scarlett and would not be defeated.

Rhett sat alone in a hotel room overlooking Venice. The salty air blowing in from the Adriatic Sea on the other side of the lido was cold and moist. Rhett went to the window and shut it. He stared out through the pain and contemplated the words that Wade had spoken. He knew that the child was wise beyond his years. And he also understood that he had been the one constant other than Scarlett and Melanie and Mammy in their lives as long as they remembered.

Rhett had tried to ignore his guilt. He had traveled Europe collecting gifts and trinkets to pacify them. But the majestic beauty of the Alps could not compare, even as he stood gazing at Mt. Pilatius over the sparkling Lake of Lucerne, he could not forget. He'd traveled to Paris, and yet he could not forget. Even London with all of it's splendor could not distract him. Finally after traveling to Rome, he'd journeyed to Venice. But everything he saw the lovers in the canals he thought of Scarlett, every little girl's laugh made him miss Bonnie and Ella. And no, he could not reclaim the child that was gone, but he could fill parts of the hole in his heart with sweet Ella's love. Every young man he saw made him think of Wade who already at the age of 12 was more of a man than Rhett had ever or could ever hope to become.

He thought of the days of holding Wade when he was a baby sitting on the front porch of PittyPat's house during the war. And then he thought of the terror on Wade's face as they escaped from Atlanta. There were moments when Rhett thought that he shouldn't have left Scarlett there on the road to rough and ready. But then he dismissed that worry. If the men fighting had possessed even a fraction of Scarlett's determination and strength the South would have won the war.

Rhett thought back to the days of watching over Scarlett during her pregnancy with Ella. Scarlett was so determined to continue working, but he had done his best to protect her. He could see how exhausted she was and he worried for her and the baby's sake. Rhett then remembered holding Ella in his arms. She wasn't a pretty baby, but had wished so fervently that she was his. And she was. He remembered the terror on Scarlett's face and the terror when Frank had been killed. And Ella had lost her father and now Rhett too had left her, his daughter. And he knew it. He realized as he looked back that if he had focused even part of the love that he had showered on Bonnie that both children might be stronger for his love. And then to make matters even worse he had abandoned them in the very moment that they needed him the most. And he cringed. He knew that he could not stay here, not even another day. He had to go home for the children's sake even if he could not allow himself to show Scarlett any emotion; he owed the children his love. And he would not disappoint them again. And so he packed his bags with all of his many trinkets and left on the first ship out of town.

Scarlett sat in the study while Ella and Wade played around her. Wade was pouring through books which Melanie had told him to read months before. They were books that had been favorites of Charles. Dinner would serve shortly, and Ashley and Beau should be arriving at any time. Ashley was truly now nothing but a ghost of his former self. They had journeyed South for the Holidays, and they had elected to stay with Aunt PittyPat since the house where Melanie had lived had been sold.

Beau rushed into the house bursting with excitement. He was terribly excited to see Wade and Ella. And he had many stories to tell of his life in Boston. He told of the great fire that had only happened the previous year and of the church still under construction in the center of town had its piling's underneath immersed in water. He was amazed at how they were making the town grow by dumping the rubble into the harbor to enlarge the land area. "Maybe, I'll become an architect and rebuild the South like they are rebuilding Boston." He bubbled with enthusiasm.

Soon the children were off on an adventure while Ashley and Scarlett waited for the meal to be announced. Scarlett found it hard to look at him. He had faded and tarnished like a coin that has been held too long. That day when she fell in love with him, he was sparkling like a new penny, brilliant to her eyes. But now the shine had faded and dimmed, until there was no shine remaining. The edges had worn smooth and picture was blurred. And Ashley was no longer the man she had fallen in love with, perhaps he never had been. "Boston, has been good for me. My mind was occupied. And it wasn't so hard being away from the life I had lived." Ashley confided.

Scarlett glanced at him. She took in the genuine smile on his face. "I'm happy for you Ashley. I truly am." But then she glanced away for looking at him, for looking at him made her see what she had lost in her foolish crush. And even so, sometimes she still longed for those days when she was naïve and hadn't taken the burdens of life upon herself. But that led to nowhere. And she neither could not nor would not look back for long.

"Has Rhett come back to see you?" Scarlett's eyes jerked up at the question.

"No," she answered simply. Then her eyes sparkled for a moment as she thought of her son. "But you should have heard Wade yell at him for the way he treats them, or fails to remember them. I was amazed to hear that coming from him, but even more amazed to see him look like me." Scarlett offered a weak smile.

"Did I really hear that Brent is alive?" Ashley asked with interest.

Scarlett smiled. "Yes, We ran across each other in Washington. It shocked me quite a bit. I actually fainted." She smiled as she thought of how amazing it all had been.

Ashely grinned, for a moment looking like his former self. "So are you going to go through with the divorce?" Ashley looked a little uncomfortable asking the question, but he pressed on anyway. "Maybe you should be with Brent..." He added.

Scarlett looked apalled. "I love Rhett, I don't want a divorce. Why does everyone, including Rhett, think that I should just kick him to the curb and take Brent up. Brent and I were a lifetime ago." Scarlett fumed. But then Scarlett looked up at Ashley and smiled. It was no use being mad at Ashley. She never could stay mad at him.

They sat in a quiet comfortable silence, waiting for the other to speak when a knock sounded on the door. Scarlett jumped and hurried to answer it. Prissy hurried much quicker than normal and opened the door, revealing a surprise, but welcome guest.


	19. An Unexpected Visitor

Chapter 19

She stood primly and quietly, every bit the lady that her mother and mammy had bred her to be. Her gown was pale and severely modest. And her eyes still reflected the dreams of a young girl. She was no longer a child though. And she stood before her sister, who lived in a house she had never seen nor dreamed of, unsure of where she should go next.

"Baby?" Scarlett gasped as she stared at her youngest sister. "How? What? Why?" She stumbled across her words trying to make sense of her sister the nun standing before her in Atlanta. Careen remained quietly standing on the porch as her sister tried to make sense of the situation. Scarlett was still in shock when Ashley stepped into the doorway and invited her in. Careen at once offered Ashley words of condolence for Scarlett had sent her a letter telling of Melly's passing.

Scarlett finally stepped back in control and led her sister into the parlor. Careen sat in still quiet silence, until Scarlett again asked why she was there. "I've left the convent" was the explanation she offered.

Scarlett was taken aback. "I thought being a nun was forever…" she said obviously confused.

Careen looked up at her sister and as always Scarlett was amazed at how much her sister looked like Ellen. "It's complicated, but for the first two years you are there it is nothing binding. Then you must take a temporary vow. That last for no less than 3 years and no more then 6. If you had waited another year, it would have been binding. I would have taken my solemn vow. And that is a vow that must not be broken. But how could I stay there when God gave me back all of my dreams." Her eyes grew misty and she looked as if she were far away. "And they tell us to listen to the priest and that the scripture we need we will be told. But I have found scripture that I had not heard. And I know that God wants me to be happy. O Scarlett, I am so happy. I was afraid to leave, but he is the God of exceedingly abundantly above all we could ask or think!" Her voice rose in excitement as she attempted to explain things to her sister.

Scarlett was confused for the words really meant nothing to her, but she smiled for her sister seemed happy. And so they settled into a polite discussion about life in Atlanta. And then Prissy came and let Scarlett know that the food was ready, and so they made their way into the dining room to enjoy the meal.

Careen seemed to be in awe of the garish home that Scarlett had built. Scarlett knew that it was overdone and gaudy, and now she seemed to realize that changes should be made. But still it made her smile to see her sister appreciate it.

The children were excited to see their aunt. For her presence seemed to fill in the gap left behind by Melanie. Even Beau seemed to remember Careen from his early years at Tara. They chattered incessantly, and Careen somehow seemed to always have the right answer. Scarlett smiled, she had missed her chance to appreciate Melanie, but she would not miss this time with Careen.

After dinner the children did not want to be parted from her, but she led them to their rooms and quietly told them stories and sang sweetly to lull them to sleep. Ashley and Beau left, leaving Scarlett alone with her sister. "Careen, I've missed you, I was so awful to you" Scarlett told her.

Careen's eyes shone were warmth and light, "O Scarlett, you were nothing but kind. You saved us from the Yankees. You picked cotton like a darkie, even though we couldn't. We wouldn't be here without you, darling sister."

Tears shimmered in Scarlett's eyes to hear the praises from those lips. She had to smile, for there was a peace and gentle strength that emanated from Careen. "Does Brent know you've left the convent?" Scarlett asked.

"No, but I will need to travel to Tara soon to see Suellen, and I will visit him then." Her chin jutted forward in a strength that belied her years.

"Why," thought Scarlett, "she's stronger than I am." "Careen, I wish we had been closer. I wish we'd spent more time together…"

"Hush, Scarlett. I understand all you did for us, and I can never repay you." She finished.

And they chatted for a few moments before heading up to bed for the night.

"Careen," Scarlett stated.

"Hmmm…" she said dreamily.

"Can I buy you some dresses and things?" Scarlett offered.

"Hmmm… well it doesn't really matter to me. What I have is sufficient" Careen said.

"I'd like to prepare a trousseau for you. Maybe one of us can live like there was no war." Scarlett finished.

"Thank you Scarlett. Good Night." Careen finished and then went into the room Scarlett had offered her.

"'Night", Scarlett said with a smile. At least she could make up a little for her sins with kindness to her sister.


	20. Noel

Chapter 20

Chapter 20

It was the night before Christmas. Scarlett and the children were dressed in fine clothes, seemingly unaware of the changes that the year of 1873 had wrought in their lives. The tree had been adorned with carefully made ornaments, and Scarlett herself would place presents under the tree after the children went to bed.

Careen had just returned to Atlanta. She had happily visited Tara, but that had not been where she spent the bulk of her time. Her face glowed with a happiness too pure and too complete for Scarlett to comprehend. Careen's words were of peace and joy, and she insisted that the family join her for midnight Mass. And Scarlett had acquiesced

Scarlett could see in the children's eyes that they were hoping that Rhett would be home for Christmas, but Scarlett refused to acknowledge that desire. She longed for them not to be disappointed, but last she had heard from Rhett he had been in Lucerne. He had sent a package with a beautiful watch for herself, a lovely doll for Ella, and a collapsible knife for Wade. He had also included an extensive collection of fine blown glass ornaments from Germany. But Scarlett had heard nothing since.

At the appointed time, Scarlett, Careen, and the children hurried into the carriage and began their journey to the Church. Not that church was Scarlett's idea of fun, it wasn't. But somehow Scarlett felt that through Careen she was atoning for the sins and mistakes of her past. And so she went, and took her children with her. And in atoning for her sins, she was at the same time soothing the savage beast of the gossip mill in Atlanta. For the in the time since Bonnie's untimely death, Scarlett had changed. She had become a better mother, and the women of Atlanta's old guard could recognize the change. And so with trepidation some of the old dowagers began making calls at the Butler home.

Scarlett felt like a fraud as she sat in the church half listening to the service. Careen sat primly and quietly listening intently to every word spoken. Wade and Ella did their best not to squirm. Something about being in the church made Scarlett even more aware of her myriad of sins and errors. She contemplated her life to that point, and she saw little that would have made her mother proud. But she looked up at the crucifix and murmured the prayers and pleaded to be absolved of her crimes.

Scarlett breathed a sigh of relief as she collapsed on her bed. The service had been much too long for her liking, but she had endured as she always endured and she had survived. She had placed the presents under the tree for the children and filed the stockings they had hung on the fireplace mantle. She was just drifting off to sleep when she heard noises downstairs and rose from the bed and pulled her wrapper around herself. She rushed out the door and was immediately confronted with a dark figure looming in front of her on the landing. She half screamed and then began screeching at the figure, prepared to attack if necessary, but her fright elicited a low rumbling laugh.

"Rhett?" She questioned.

"I'm home for Christmas" was all he said.

"Rhett, you should have told me." Scarlett chided.

"I'm sorry, I thought it might be more important that I arrive rather than a letter or telegram promising something that I wasn't sure that I could do." He told her simply.

Scarlett turned on her heels and marched back into her bedroom and slammed the door as Rhett stood in the hall laughing gently.

Scarlett was awakened the next morning by Ella's cries. "Mother, it's Christmas!" she cried. "There are so many presents under the tree!"

Scarlet yawned and stretched, she knew that she should hurry, but there was such a sense of urgency that Scarlett rose and hurriedly got ready. She dressed in a red gown and quickly descended the stairs to find Wade and Ella surrounding the tree, eyeing it hungrily as Scarlett herself had eyed a radish on the day after they had arrived at Tara.

But this was joyful hunger. Ella's eyes sparkled, changing from brown to green. Then a a loud crashing thud came from behind the tree, and Wade went to inspect the source. Rhett had been hiding behind the tree to surprise the children, but unfortunately his foot had fallen asleep. Rhett now lay behind the tree grinning at Wade. Ella screeched, "Wade what is it, what is it?"

Wade smirked, "It's Uncle Rhett, he fell on the floor."

Scarlet rose from her seat and peeked behind the tree. She began laughing peals of laughter as she watched in great amusement. Rhett crawled out from behind the tree grinning at his own predicament. "Go ahead and open your presents," Rhett commanded.

But the children first ran to their stockings, they also found one for Scarlett and one for Rhett. Wade handed the right one to Step father. It was full of cigars, but in the bottom was a cold, hard lump of coal. Scarlett opened hers to reveal that it contained nothing, but coal. She glared at Rhett, knowing full well when Rhett was tormenting her. "Oh, Rhett, I think I got yours by mistake."

Rhett chuckled, "I'm certain there was no mistake, Mrs. Butler. That stocking could be for no one but you."

Scarlett glared at him despite herself, for it was somewhat amusing. After opening their stockings, WAde and Ella made a dive for the tree.

Wade and Ella furiously began following his command. Colored bits of paper floated in the air. "Mother, here's one for you." Ella said, hurriedly taking it to Scarlett before resuming her paper shredding.

Scarlett carefully opened the box and moved the tissue aside. Tears pricked her eyes as she stared down at a portrait of Bonnie. The artist had captured her laughing eyes and stunning smile. Scarlett looked up at Rhett trying to gauge his motive. "I wanted you to have something to remember her by." He mouthed. And Scarlett pulled the package to her chest and smiled.

A few moments later Careen entered the room. She smiled sweetly at Rhett and exclaimed with the children over the bounty that they had been blessed with. And the five of them spent the day as a family, bound in unity for a moment.


	21. The Question

Chapter 20

Chapter 21

Life continued at an easy pace after that day. Rhett and Scarlett carefully maintained a tightrope walk on their cordial behavior in front of the children. Rhett visited frequently, showering Ella and Wade with gifts. It seemed as if Wade's words had truly struck a chord, and now he was playing the role of the devoted doting father to perfection once again. No one outside of Rhett and Scarlett understood that they weren't happily married.

Scarlett, with Rhett's grateful consent began redecorating the house. The red was too garish, and so with Rhett's input, it all was replaced. The windows were carefully draped so as to let in plenty of light, and carpet. The planning consumed her, and she often neglected the store.

In early February Brent arrived in Atlanta. He was sparkling and full of life and vigor. The air, the land, and the love of his family breathed fresh life into his life. Scarlett was busy poring over ledgers when he arrived on a rainy dismal day. He shook the water from his hair that had become soaked despite the protection that his hat offered.

Scarlett rose from her desk and stared at Brent. His eyes twinkled with merriment. His muscles had grown hard with the labor on the farm. His hands were calloused and roughened from helping his mother with the horses. He looked good and very healthy.

"Scarlett, honey, it's so good to see you." Brent took off his hat and kissed her hand as he grinned broadly and easily.

"Hello, Brent. What brings you out in this awful weather?" Scarlett replied, her usual coquetry when it came to Brent disappearing with a certainty of his purpose.

"Well I couldn't resist coming to Atlanta to see the two prettiest ladies in the world." He grinned a slow lazy grin that tugged at Scarlett's heart strings.

"What are your intentions towards my sister?" she quickly asked.

Brent began to stammer at her boldness. But when he looked into her eyes he decided that the direct approach was the best route at the moment. "Scarlett, seeing as your parents are both gone, I came to you… well I came to ask officially for your sisters hand in marriage." He spoke quickly trying to get the ordeal over with as soon as possible. "Your parents both agreed during the war, but seeing as to the events that we went through I thought that I should ask again."

Scarlett smiled. She knew that this was coming, unless she greatly missed her guess. "Of course Brent." She told him. "Let me send for Careen."

Upon arrival, Careen immediately accepted his offer, and her eyes glowed more fiercely and she sparkled like a diamond. Scarlett left the room for although she was quite pleased for her sister to be so happy, it stung to let go. And it also hurt because she and Rhett were so unhappy, even living at times in the same house. They were cordial, pleasant strangers.

When Rhett heard the news he offered to pay for Careen's wedding. She at first refused, but was quickly won over. Scarlett offered to host the reception and Rhett offered Careen the finest dressmaker in Atlanta to design the dress. And with starry eyes, Careen began planning her wedding.

Rhett and Scarlett coexisted well. They took great care to avoid being alone, but the children didn't see to sense the strain. Careen was too caught up in her dreams to see the misery of her sister. But she did notice that her sister and husband seemed to have little time alone together. And so she tried to convince them to take a trip together. They both adamantly refused, but Careen insisted. And so they journeyed off together for an unknown destination, leaving Wade and Ella in Careen's capable hands.


	22. New Orleans Nightmare

Chapter 22

Rhett grinned as Scarlett's face lit up. "Rhett, New Orleans? Why this is where we had our honeymoon." Her gaze was on the papers he had set upon her lap.

Rhett laughed at her. "I can promise that we will not be living a replay of that time, Scarlett darling." His eyes mocked her as she squirmed in the train seat.

"Rhett, why don't you by us our own train car? It would be so much nicer to travel away from everyone else." Scarlett told him.

Rhett's eyebrow rose, "Why, my pet, so that you may seduce me? I think I shall have to pass on that opportunity." He watched as Scarlett bristled at this statement.

"Why you cad, that was not even a consideration!" She blazed. He chuckled at her anger, as he normally did.

"O, I am most certain that it was Mrs. Butler. You have spent your entire life scheming to capture one man, and you can not change." He told her.

"I am not trying to get you back. If I was, you would already be mine," she told him confidently. She wiggled in the seat uncomfortably. Rhett began to slip his arm around her to make the arduous journey more comfortable. But Scarlett jerked away from him as if he had touched her with a red hot coal.

"You might as well get comfortable, if you recall, it's quite a journey." Rhett told her. But she resolutely sat as her mother had taught her, primly and proper as a textbook. Her back was ramrod straight and hands were carefully folded in her lap. And Rhett laughed for the sight of her as such a proper lady could not cease to amaze anyone.

Her back ached and her shoulders stung, but she would not budge. Rhett expected her to need him for a moment, well she would not play into his hand. Something in the icy coldness of their time in Atlanta recently stirred up her iron will. Scarlett O'Hara was not one to stand by and let life pass her by. Nor was she a woman desperate and needy, she would not cling to Rhett. If there was any hope for Scarlett to survive, she knew that she must do it out of her own power. She understood now in a rare moment of clarity that she could not allow his betrayal to penetrate her. Yes she had changed some, but she was still Scarlett O'Hara. And she would not be broken by anyone.

When the train arrived in New Orleans, Scarlett was exhausted. She was hungry and her muscles ached from the lengthy train journey. In public she allowed Rhett to treat her as a gentleman treats his wife, but she built an icy wall around her heart in protection. She was fighting fire with ice.

Scarlett was so tired when they reached the hotel that she refused the mention of going down to the hotel restaurant and eating. Rhett helped her out of her clothes and left her to the massive bed in the middle of the suite. Rhett had removed himself to another bedroom which was across from hers. This way no tongues wagged, but they still were able to have a separate bed.

Scarlett was asleep as soon as her head hit the pillow. Rhett stepped into the room to ask her question, but she did not stir at the sound of his voice. Her breathing was deep and even, and Rhett was thankful for the moment to see her at peace. He knew that their relationship was putting a strain on her, but he could not risk his life again. He couldn't trust her not to crush him.

It was the same dream- the infernal nightmare for a decade now. She was hungry, so hungry. For a moment she was back at Tara, it was in that moment that she realized that the burden of feeding everyone had fallen on her. She felt compressed, as if a weight were pushing her down. She could still taste the radish that she had eaten in the slave's quarters at Twelve Oaks. And the fear and the pain and the hunger gnawed at her, unrelenting and inescapable. Then the fog came, thick grey fog that her eyes could not penetrate more than a few steps in front of her self. And she was running, and gasping for breath desperately searching for something, and yet she could not find the illusive goal. And then she saw his broad shoulders ahead. She knew it was Rhett, she ran faster, headless of the ground on which she was running, she kept calling his name, but he kept going. There was no noticeable sign that he even heard her. She pushed herself harder then she had in her life, but he began running faster and farther than she could hope to go. His voice whispering, "If you pursue me, you will never be able to run fast enough". Then her foot caught on something and she lost her balance, and try as she might she could not regain her footing. And she fell hard, the cold earth digging into her hands and she jerked awake.

She found herself lying on the floor of the hotel room. She was clutching at the carpet desperately, as if it were the only thing tethering her to life. She shakily pulled herself to a sitting position, she tried to shake off the memory of the nightmare, but it still clung to her like a leach from the riverbed.

The door to her room opened, and she was startled to see Rhett enter. He was equally startled to find her sitting on the floor staring up at him. He was certain that she would still be asleep. He would have gone to her, but her eyes pierced him accusingly. He couldn't understand what he had done to inspire such malice, as she held in her gaze.

"did you have the nightmare again?" he asked apologetically. "I had some food brought up since you went to bed without eating. That might help lessen the intensity of the dream." He offered in a friendly manner, as if he were a friendly acquaintance rather then her husband. He offered her his hand which she grudgingly accepted.

He led her to a table overlooking the water of the great Mississippi River where he had placed the tray. He realized as she sat down that something in the night had changed. Somehow in that moment Scarlett had changed and it intrigued him. She was more Scarlett than she had been in a long time, and it excited him. But she looked at him with such anger and loathing in her eyes that any lesser man would have run from her. But this coldness would not deter him. He knew how to work her. He knew he could thaw the ice. For he was playing with fire, and fire always melts the ice.


	23. The Change in the Night

Author's Note Thanks for all of the reviews

Author's Note Thanks for all of the reviews. And thanks to whoever let me know that you can't see the gulf from New Orleans. I appreciate all of your comments!

Chapter 23

Something had changed while they were in New Orleans. Rhett could not quite put his finger upon the cause. But he could see the changes blossoming and budding, like the first warm breezes of spring. And he looked at her with curiosity in his eyes, for he didn't quite know what to make of the changes.

And it was over the course of the following weeks from their return to Atlanta, that the true Scarlett emerged. It was as if death and war and poverty and grief had become a suffocating cocoon, where in she lost her true self, hidden among the wreckage of the civilization in which she had been born and bred. Most people never noticed the changes in her, the harshness and coldness that she was powerless to control for they were her keys to survival. But in that instant moment of clarity in her nightmare accompanied by the realizations following Melanie's death broke Scarlett free of the chrysalis which enveloped her, and the Belle of Clayton County reemerged to a new world still unready for the fluttering and brilliant sight that she was.

The sparkle returned to her eyes -- brilliant, flashing, dancing green sparkles shimmering constantly. It was possible for moments to look at her and forget that the war had ever happened—to imagine that she was still sixteen and surrounded by beaux. But somehow in that process she had attained a much great level of maturity, for she was also no longer the selfish, self-centered child from before the war had touched their lives. In some ways she was more a lady than her mother had ever been. For although her mother had been the picture of propriety and all that seemed right, she had been hollow inside. She had not the strength of her daughter. She had been only a shell of her former self.

With the return to Atlanta and her children, the bond that Wade and Ella had forged with their mother in the months since Bonnie's death, now grew and strengthened. It was impossible not to be charmed by Scarlett's smile and vitality, and now her children were drawn in unable to resist the allure of their mother like many before them. The memory of the harsh, angry woman she had been receded in their minds until it seemed that she nothing but a figment of their imagination.

And with her sparkle came her health. She had been pale after Bonnie's death, still pale then from the miscarriage, but it was beyond the prized magnolia skin paleness that was so favored in their society, she had been merely a ghost of her former self. And her skin reflected the haunted appearance. Her cheeks had been sharp and dark circles lay under her flat eyes. But now her face filled out and once again held a faint blush in her cheeks. She no longer needed to resort to coquetry to amass a following. Men of all ages were drawn to her as a moth is drawn to a flame. But she was unaware of the change in her outward appearance other than she could see that she no long looked like a wretched had. And Rhett was left to contend with the vision of the woman he was incapable of removing from his mind. She haunted his every moment regardless of with whom it was spent. No matter where he ventured the memory of who she had become clung to him like a drowning man clings desperately, madly to whatever he can grasp—like the sweltering heat of an Indian summer. She was with him in every step, in every moment whether he was awake or asleep. And finally had to turn and go back to Atlanta to prove that she could not be as wonderful as she seemed to be in his memory.

When he arrived he found her as alive as she had ever been. Whereas before, Mammy accused her and Rhett of being mule's in horse's harnesses, it was evident that now Scarlett was indeed the thoroughbred that her mother and mammy had worked ceaselessly to create. And Rhett was desperate to break that shell. He was confident that it was a shell to be broken. He would find the spoiled but yet broken and hardened woman that he had left behind, and then he would be able to disengage her from his every thought.

He found her sitting in the newly redecorated parlor of the Peachtree Street house. Where it had once appeared more appropriate as the interior of a lavish brothel, it now oozed elegance and taste. That alone surprised Rhett. Scarlett sat surrounded by members of the old guard who had at one time been so icy and cold. Obviously now Scarlett had won them over with her charm.

"My darling Scarlett," Rhett drawled as he entered the room.

Scarlett's dancing eyes registered surprise at seeing him, but she quickly hid the emotion. She smiled warmly at him and greeted him. "Oh, Rhett! It's so lovely to have you home." She was still playing the roll of the devoted wife, but it seemed now as if she had mastered the game. She played it with the ease with which she rode a horse or had at one time attracted Beaux. There was a murmur in the room as the ladies said their greetings to Rhett. He acknowledged them with his cavalier smile then made his apologies and left the room, unable to reconcile the present Scarlett with the woman he had married.

He knew that it would be an hour at least until the visiting ladies vacated, and for a moment he longed from someone to talk to even if it was Ashley. He needed to see someone who had known Scarlett, but he realized that few had ever really known her. Truly he himself and maybe Mammy were the only ones who had ever seen her for her, although Melanie had loved her dearly. They had merely been allowed to see the façade she wore to appease those around her or they had seen her desperately grasping to survive and they resented her for it. For in their society, few things were as scandalous as a woman doing things such as she had done. And to the chagrin of the society, not only had she done them, but she had succeeded where most others would have failed. And that was one of the reasons he had fallen in love with her--One of the many. And Melanie had been right, he still did love her so.


	24. Now a Lady

Chapter 24

The apple and peach trees were blooming, and they left the ground covered as if hidden by snow. But Rhett paid no attention to the Spring outside the doors. He lit a cigar and began pacing about the house. Something inside of him was puzzled by the changes he had just witnessed in Scarlett. He could pinpoint the night that she had lost the broken, tortured child look in her eyes. But it still made no sense to him. She had been icy and cold that evening, but slowly over their two week stay in New Orleans, she began to thaw. But the melting had somehow not included him.

"Scarlett, have you been having those nightmares?" he had questioned.

She had turned her icy gaze upon him. "It isn't as if you care." She said it with a frigidness that surprised him, but it was etched with politeness. In that moment she could have given the Old Guard a run for their money in the way she was freezing him out.

But in company she had reverted to her amorous games of years gone by. She played the part of the devoted wife to perfection, but Rhett could see that it was a game for he knew Scarlett like no one else. It stirred something deep inside of Rhett that left him nearly breathless.

"how did you change so drastically over night?" he finally asked her.

"Nothing changes over night Rhett. Don't be silly." Scarlett had simpered at him with flashing eyes.

Rhett laughed as the years fell away and he saw Scarlett again as the Belle at the Wilkes Barbeque. "O surely Scarlett, you know I can see the difference."

She looked at him for a moment, and he felt a little of her open up. "I've been changing for years. You just didn't see it. The moment when Ashley held me at the mill, I began to realize that he didn't stir in me the feelings that he once had. But why am I even bothering telling this to you, Rhett?" She smiled a false smile. "You are the one playing this game. I gave up, and I am living my life without you." She turned from him and started to leave the room, but he grabbed her roughly by the arm. Her eyes flashed angrily at him, as he pulled her close so that mere inches separated them.

"Ahh, Scarlett I knew that you still had to be inside of this lady that you have been masquerading as." His eyes glowed at the sight of her anger. She tried to pull away.

"Damn you, Scarlett! I'll always be concerned for you," he grudgingly admitted. But he could see that she was not listening, that nothing he did was penetrating. He wanted her to react. He wanted to see the fire and the passion. And so he roughly dropped his lips to hers, desperately trying to pull the passion from her. And for a moment she answered. Her lips hungrily responded, her heart beat like a frightened rabbit, but she pushed him away, closing her eyes to him. And Rhett knew that at least for the moment he must retreat. Yet he still felt as if he had one a small victory for there was still passion there.

Rhett was pulled from his reflection by Scarlett clearing her throat. He looked up at her, something unreadable in his eyes. She had looked at him without passion or emotion, there was no trace of scheming or grasping or coercion that he could see.

"Hello Rhett." She was friendly yet distant.

"Oh, Scarlett, have the old Battle Axes left already?" He asked with a laugh.

She grinned slightly at his statement, "they are being very kind to me. I actually think that they finally accept me as a part of them."

"That's something, I was certain that I would never see," he confessed with a chuckle.

"Neither did I ,but it doesn't matter… I didn't mean to catch you off guard. We're you woolgathering?" She looked at him with motherly concern, which was ironic considering that Scarlett's mother had been younger than Rhett himself.

"Hmmm…. I was just thinking about New Orleans. You changed while we were there." He said it in a manner which most would see as accusatory, but he was not reacting so.

She looked at him with sadness in her eyes and a flash of pity. "I finally understood that we were finally over, and I quit fighting to keep you and decided to fight for my life and for my children. I guess you could say that I saw finally what I had been trying to see for years but never could. I saw the mistakes that I had made and somehow that old nightmare crystallized everything." She looked away from him, not wanting him to see any trace of anything in her eyes that she was forced to hide from him.

"Scarlett, I still don't understand. It's almost as if you were an entirely different person." There was a tremor in his voice as he spoke for at times he felt like he had killed the woman he loved with a passion that he could not control. He had not chosen to love her, it had flamed brightly when he heard her passionate conversation with Ashley at Twelve Oaks. It had been permanently sealed upon his heart when he heard her slap him and then forever branded when she threw the vase. At times he had fought valiantly to overcome his obsession which seemed more hopeless than her own obsession with Ashley.

"I don't quite understand myself," she told him with honest sincerity. "Rhett, I was awful to you and to everyone that ever tried to love me. If you want that divorce, you can proceed, and I will not contest it. You deserve better than I gave you." It was this confession that was the final straw for Rhett.

"I don't want a divorce, Scarlett! I want you. I want you to love me again. We seem to always come to the realizations at the wrong times. But we need each other. You can put on the act all you want, but you aren't a lady Scarlett!" Scarlett's eyes snapped at his words. "Before you start telling me what a lady you are, remember to whom you are speaking."

"Have you ever considered that the day would come when Scarlett O'Hara would finally grow up? That I would stop waiting to think about it until tomorrow. That I would realize that waiting for tomorrow was pointless. I have to live for the now. I can't look back! Didn't you realize that sooner or later it was inevitable? You stand there talking to me like I was still a sixteen year old spoiled belle. Well in case you don't remember, I lived through a war, the death of both of my parents, the death of my daughter and a child I never got to know. I lost my best friend and my husband in what seemed like one drawn out nightmare of a minute. And I saw that all I could do was cling to my children that I had never given the time of day. So maybe I wasn't a lady then, but don't you suppose that I could become a lady." Scarlett somehow controlled her temper enough to have her say. But it was the flashing in the eyes and the determined set of her jaw that Rhett saw her old sparkle in.

"You might fool the world, but you will never fool me, Scarlett. I'll prove it you and the world if I have to. You haven't changed, you can't change." Rhett didn't falter in his attack on her, but she took with grace and dignity. He was desperate to shake her from the game she was playing. He pulled her close to him. She fought, but his hands were crushing, bruising. His lips landed on her collarbone. His breath was hot and moist through the fabric of her dress. There was no alcohol tingeing these moments. But Scarlett felt a warmth seeping through her as alcohol did. His touch was intoxicating.

She pushed against him but moaned as his lips found a bare spot at the base of her neck. Something in his touch caused her skin to ignite and burn. There was tingling sensation and desire rising within her that she was almost afraid of releasing. Some alarms rang in her head. If she gave in to him, he would always have the power. But his lips were too insistent, her body pressed against his longing to be with him once more. His lips found hers devouring her as if he had never eaten and would never taste of her again. His eyes darkened as if the night sky had taken residence within him. Her mouth parted as she gasped, and he took this as a sign. He lifted her into his arms, his lips refusing to leave hers even for a moment. He stumbled for the stairs leading to her room. And he was reminded of another time when he had carried her up this stairs in a fit of passion.

They were halfway up the stairs when Wade came rushing in the doors shattering the moment. "Mother!" he bellowed. "It's Ella. She's hurt." And in that moment, Rhett set Scarlett down, and she rushed down the stairs following Wade. Rhett followed close behind, terrified to see what had happened.


	25. A Child's peril

Thank you everyone for the reviews

And Scarlett raced outside to find that Ella had stubbed her little toe….

I'm kidding, that's not the chapter

Thank you everyone for the reviews. I am really enjoying getting inside of their heads ( or at least I am trying to).

Chapter 25

Scarlett's dress billowed behind her as she ran heedless of anything but finding her child. Wade ran ahead to one of the trees in the backyard. Careen who had been watching the child play was already beside a green pile of cloth lay at the base of the tree. Scarlett ran and fell to her knees beside Ella. The child was unnaturally still and her face was ashen white. For a moment Scarlett had a flashback of the moment of Bonnie's death, but Ella's chest still moved. And Scarlett nearly wept with relief. But she did not open her eyes. A large goose egg had already former at the back of her head.

Rhett stood back and watched as Scarlett so carefully looked after her child. There was no doubt that she loved Ella. And Rhett was amazed as more to his heart came alive watching Scarlett's fire and passion directed into something as mundane and yet sacred as motherly concern.

Scarlett brushed the hair away from Ella's face. "Baby girl, please wake up. Mommy needs to see your pretty eyes." But Ella did not stir. Scarlett glanced up at Wade who was nervously twisting his hands. "Wade you did a good job in coming and getting us." She consoled him, but it had no effect. His eyes held a glimmer of guilt and fear.

"Wade, what's wrong?" she asked him.

Wade's eyes filled with tears, "Mother, it's my fault. I dared her to climb the tree. I killed her! I killed my little sister!" He sobbed.

"Hush, Wade!" Scarlett scolded. "You didn't kill Ella, and if you were climbing trees then you know she would have followed you whether or not you challenged her. Wade, stop crying!"

There was still something maternal in her scolding, something that sweet talking and coddling would never have accomplished. Wade's sobs subsided, and he still held the look of guilt in his eyes, but he knew that mother needed him to be a man and not a child.

Scarlett started to pick Ella up, but Rhett chose this moment to come to her rescue. Although Ella was slight of build, she was almost too much for Scarlett to carry. Rhett bent and gently scooped the child into his arms. There was terror on his face, and Scarlett knew he was reliving Bonnie's death as she had just done.

She placed her hand on his arm. "Rhett, she's going to be ok. She just has a bump on her head. She'll be fine." The words were not for Rhett's ear alone, the words were spoken for Wade and for Scarlett herself. She still needed reassurance that she had not lost another child. Careen followed in their wake, trying to calm and soothe Wade.

Rhett led the way up the stairs, gently laying her on her bed. Scarlett sat beside her and stroked her forehead with the back of her hand, relishing in the warmth of the blood flowing beneath the surface of the skin. One of the nameless menservants was dispatched at once to fetch a doctor, but Rhett stayed in the room watching Scarlett who was oblivious to everyone in the room but her injured child.

Prissy arrived with a bowl of water and a towel, and Scarlett took it from her. She carefully wiped away the dirty smudges covering Ella's still pale face. She carefully began cleaning the scrapes that stood out in vivid contrast. Scarlett looked at her hands which shook, and she looked back at Ella, whose eyes fluttered open. "Momma, my head hurts." She whispered.

Scarlett nearly burst into relieved tears. "Baby girl, you gave momma, an awful scare." Her eyes stared into Ella's thankful beyond words to see the green sparkles again.

"Momma, what happened?" Ella questioned.

"You silly goose, fell out of the tree and bumped your head. Momma once did that too, when she was a silly little girl like you." Scarlett told her in a soothing tone.

"O, Momma, can you tell me about?" Ella's eyes began to sparkle again.

Scarlett began her story, but was soon interrupted by Ella. "Mother, my tummy hurts." At that Ella crawled from the bed and began vomiting. This terrified Scarlett because she knew of nothing that she could do to help her daughter. Soon after the wave of nausea had passed, the creak of the door revealed the appearance of Dr. Meade. Scarlett moved aside and allowed him access. He examined Ella, and his results were as expected.

"She has a concussion. You can't let her sleep, and she will want to sleep. But you cannot let her, because you can never be sure with brain injuries. But it is surely a good sign that she is awake and alert and in good spirits." Dr. Meade seemed very optimistic and handed Scarlett a package to administer for the head ache. "She's a lucky child," he concluded. And with that he departed.

Scarlett sent for one of the maids to fetch any and all entertainment that could be found to help keep Ella awake. Now that much of the fear and worry had passed, Rhett relaxed and began working at Scarlett's side to amuse Ella.

The room was soon full to overflowing with games and books and toys. Rhett seemed amused to teach Ella how to play poker. This intrigued Scarlett. She knew that she shouldn't allow Ella to play, but she was also very curious about the workings of the game.

As it turned out, Ella was not a very good strategist; however Scarlett soon was competition for Rhett. "Scarlett, I think you might be able to gamble on a professional level, now that you have learned to mask your emotion."

He was rewarded with a grin. It was her old grin, flirtatious and daring, and the very smile that Rhett longed to see. And for a moment, they were a united front. They were parents working hard to take care of an ill child, and they fit perfectly together. They worked in perfect unison.

Soon it was obvious that although Scarlett was enjoying the game, Ella would soon be asleep if they did not change their plan. She was already drooping in her seat. Scarlett then sent for one of the maids to bring a tray piled with Cakes and candies and sweets. She sent for a full pot of coffee and strong tea. Rhett laughed, "Of course, trust you Scarlett to think of food as the solution to your child's ailments."

Scarlett sent a glare his way, but the three of them enjoyed the rich deserts which arrived soon. Ella was excited to be allowed coffee, although she nearly spat after taking her first drink of the dark liquid. Rhett took great pains to mask the guffaw let lose by the expression on her face by feigning a coughing fit.

"Here, let mother make it taste better." Scarlett said trying to distract Ella from Rhett's poorly acted charade. She added a healthy amount of cream and sugar before Ella was willing to taste of it again. When she did she smiled, and Scarlett hoped that the coffee would help all of them survive the night.

Rhett saw the fatigue wearing at the edges of Scarlett. The stress of Ella's accident had worn on her as the stream wears away the rock, and Rhett realized that he must act for the benefit of both of the ladies in the room.

He began animatedly regaling them with edited yet still fantastic stories from his time in California in the Gold Rush. He told tales of hair raising adventures that truly were inappropriate for a young girl, they were more the stories that Wade longed to hear. But Wade had been sent to bed hours before after being assured that Ella really would be fine. Scarlett had to laugh at his ridiculous impersonations of the people he had encountered in his lifetime of travels.

When the sun began to rise and the pale rays of dawn streaked the sky, Rhett finally was able to tell Scarlett that the immediate threat had passed. Scarlett smiled at Ella, who quickly climbed into her bed and closed her eyes. And Scarlett like Ella was desperate for sleep. Careen agreed to stay in Ella's room and watch the child while Scarlett gratefully took a nap.

Scarlett was now bone weary, she felt almost too tired to lift a foot to take her to her room. And Rhett could see the exhaustion on her face. So without her consent he gathered her into his arms as hours before he had gathered Ella. This was not the passion that had inflamed him earlier. This was deep and pure love and concern. And Scarlett was too tired to fight him. And he carried her to her room and laid her on the bed. He carefully undressed her, and then lay himself down beside her. He then pulled her into his arms in an embrace meant to shield her from the dreams that plagued her. And for moments he knew a feeling of love so pristine that he could not comprehend it. But then his heavy eyelids sagged, and his breathing grew deep and even as he fell asleep with his wife in his arms.


	26. Tomorrow is Here

Chapter Twenty-six

Chapter Twenty-six

The midday sunlight poured in through a gap in the heavy drapes adorning the bedroom window. The light was in her face and she blinked as a bear emerging from hibernation. She stumbled like a sleepwalker into consciousness. And that's when she felt his arms around her. She felt his warm breath caressing her skin. The previous night was a haze, the endless games and stories were nothing more than a fog. She had slept soundly in the time since Ella had been pronounced well; Rhett's presence seemed to quell the nightmares and fears. She knew that she needed to get up, that she needed to get away from Rhett because she didn't want to risk her heart again. But it felt so right to be in his arms. It felt so safe and perfect.

As she lay there she thought of the things that needed done. She still needed to help Carreen finish preparing for her wedding, for soon it would be upon them. The dress was being made at the dressmakers and everything else had been taken care of. She waited a moment, soaking in the contented feeling, before she rose from the bed to resume the day.

Before crawling out from under the security of the covers, she glanced at Rhett's face. All age lines seemed to have faded into oblivion. His breathing was deep and even and he looked totally at peace. It was one of the rare moments that Scarlett could view him without fear of being caught. She longed to kiss him, but she resisted and rose from the bed. She hurried over to her wardrobe to find a dress to wear without wrapping her robe around her. She opened the doors and immersed herself in the search. She finally settled on a indigo blue dress with a small bustle and little sweep train. It was a dress Bonnie would have loved she thought. She pulled the material to her cheek allowing it to softly caress her skin and for a moment she thought about Bonnie. But it was no use dwelling on it. She couldn't change it. And she still couldn't face it. It wasn't putting it off for tomorrow; it was waiting a lifetime until the pain dulled.

She broke her reverie and turned and was surprised to find Rhett standing in front of her. His shirt was untucked and rumpled, obvious to the fact that it had just been slept in. His hair was slightly tasseled from the sleep. And a playful, slightly amused grin sat on his lips.

"Rhett? I thought you were still asleep," she said in a surprised tone.

"I was until you got up. Here Scarlett, let me help you." He started to move to help her dress.

She waved him away with a flick of her wrist. "Oh, Rhett, you can just send Prissy up to help me," she protested.

"Scarlett, you are such a child. It isn't as if I have never laced you up before." He chuckled as he moved closer.

"But Rhett, you probably need to be doing something else." She tried was all of her might to convince him to leave. She didn't trust herself if his hands were upon her, touching her skin. There encounter yesterday had pulled desires close to the surface that she had buried. Too long with him and she knew that her resistance would melt as wax in a fire.

"Scarlett, let's just get it done." He placed the corset around her and began the arduous task of lacing her corset. He was fighting temptation; she was like the forbidden fruit dangling in front of him. He began pulling roughly on the laces to tighten it. She gasped as he pulled a little too hard. Her gasp only made him more aware of her and how he had nearly lost her. His hands that had the power of iron, delicately brushed the exposed skin on her shoulder. She shivered; his touch on her skin was like pinpoints of searing metal touching her flesh. He bent closer, allowing his mouth to hover mere inches from her skin. His breath was hot upon her neck, she shivered from the tickling feeling that it caused.

"Rhett," she whispered.

"Scarlett," he sighed.

She closed her eyes and tried to think about something else, anything else—Anything to avoid the feeling of his nearness. But his touch could not be ignored. And then he dropped his soft moist lips to the back of her neck, trailing softly around her like a necklace to her front. His fingers began undoing the work it had just done; he unlaced her corset as he continued to place soft kisses across any available skin, she turned in his arms to face him. Her eyes sparkling and flashing like emeralds with the sun sparkling through. His lips found hers. His mouth tasted faintly of mint. Somewhere inside she thought that she ought not to be doing this, but his kisses were becoming too insistent. Something in the depths of his passion, he was awakening the feelings in her that only he could release in her. And she longed for his touch.

"Rhett, please hold me," she cried.

His hands released the laces that he had loosened. Her corset fell to the floor, but Scarlett paid no heed to it. Rhett's lips were upon hers, and the love that had finally been realized at Melanie's death was reemerging like the warmth of the sun emerging on a cloudy day. Scarlett began hungrily returning his kisses as if there were nothing but the two of them, and nothing so important as the feel of his mouth on hers. His rough calloused hands were running through her hair. His mouth whispered words of love and promise even as his lips met hers.

"I love you," he breathed into her mouth.

His arms tightened around her waist. She could feel his pounding heart as her body was pressed against his. Her pulse was racing in tune with his. Her hands crept beneath his shirt with the shyness and hesitancy of a newly-wed virginal bride. The smell of him was intoxicating, pulling her from reality into a world that was safe from all but this all consuming desire to be in his arms. His arms could be like a cage or as now the shelter from the storm. She was powerless to do anything that would separate her from him. All reservations were disappearing as they slowly continued their careful dance across the room.

He carefully took her into his arms, and she couldn't fight him. She wouldn't fight him. She had no desire to fight him. This moment was real and powerful. And Scarlett could see what he had hidden in every moment that they had ever made love. There were no walls separating her from him, and at this realization the final piece of the wall she had built fell. Despite all of her earlier protests, she was seeing that there was no where else was she more alive than in his arms. Tears sprung to her eyes, not tears tears of sadness, but of joy that she had no other means to express. He brushed the tears away with infinite care. Their kisses were salty with the tears. And then they fell onto the bed in each others arms, and all was right with the world.

Author's note: Well, this wasn't what I had planned. This chapter wrote itself. I'm a little surprised. But hey, that's where it went, so hope you enjoyed it.


	27. Right Where I Belong

Chapter 27

Chapter 27

Scarlett smiled shyly at Rhett, and then she laid her head back on his chest. She contentedly listened to the steady beating of his heart. She was at peace. There was nowhere safer than within the circle of his arms. His hand lazily stroked her tangled hair as they quietly enjoyed the moment spent in each others arms.

"Scarlett, I think we need to get up," he told her softly.

Her eyes widened, "Why Rhett?"

He chuckled softly at her, the sound rumbling in his chest like the thunder that precedes a spring rain, "Because, my pet, we've already spent most of the day in bed."

She blushed furiously at his words. "Oh, you skunk!" she flippantly chided. "I don't know if I ever want to get up. It feels so nice to be here with you." Her hand held onto him; her body begging him not to leave.

"Scarlett, I think we need to talk about what this means." Rhett told her, his face immediately growing serious and somber which caused her face to mirror his own.

"No, we aren't going to talk about it. We don't need to discuss it!" she exclaimed hotly. She leapt from the bed pulling the sheet around herself. She began gathering the clothes and accessories that she has already chosen to wear. Her anger was evident in the stiff posture and the flash in her eyes. She turned when she felt his hand on her shoulder. She jerked away when he reached out his hand.

"Don't touch me!" she cried.

Rhett eyes grew darker as he stared at her. There were tears sparkling in her eyes and he tried to understand what was happening. "Scarlett, I don't think you are understanding me." He started.

But she cut him off, "We aren't doing this again. I'm not going to be hurt again. I was finally free and you came back bent on getting what you want!" She screeched.

"Scarlett, this isn't what I wanted to talk about." She retreated from him. "I meant what I said earlier. Those weren't empty promises…" At this confession she stopped. "I love you, Scarlett." She turned to him and stood completely still. I'm not changing my mind and leaving you or letting you go."

"I was so afraid that you were telling me that nothing had changed, that nothing you said earlier was true, they were just things you say when making love." Rhett stepped closer to her. Her chin fell and a tear slipped from her eye. Rhett brushed a tear away and lifted her chin so that he could stare into her eyes. For there in the green depths of her eyes lay her soul. They reflected every emotion that she was feeling—an odd combination of love, fear, anger, terror, and forgiveness.

"Scarlett, I will love you until the day that I die. Don't you get it, we are alike. Some people just belong together, and no other will ever be able to satisfy that need. We're alike, you and I, that's why we fit so perfectly. I was just waiting for you to grow up, and now you have. And you are even more amazing then I dreamed that you would ever be."

Rhett pulled Scarlett to himself, holding her, absorbing her trembling into his own body to quell the emotions that tormented her. And against his chest, she felt her strength return as if Rhett was pouring his strength into her.

She turned her face to him. "But do you forgive me?"

"Scarlett I knew the stakes before I joined the game…" He began.

"But Rhett, Ashley and I never…" Scarlett now was desperate to explain something that was now long past yet it still haunted her thoughts, but he cut her off.

"Scarlett, you fool, I know nothing happened, I know because Ashley wouldn't dishonor Melanie, but nor was he man enough to tell you the truth. It made me spitting mad that you thought he was so wonderful, when he was not a gentleman in the slightest." Rhett grip became tight as the anger in him rose. "But I do know that if anything would have ever happened you would have known then that he wasn't what you wanted. As soon as you my kitten would have achieved such a dubious prize, you would immediately have grown tired of him."

"I think you are right. Looking back, I guess he was more of a habit than anything. I never really saw him for who he was. I made my mind up about who I thought that I was supposed to be and who I thought I was supposed to love and to marry, and he was the ideal of what I believed in. Pa even told me that Ashley and I would never be happy, that he and I weren't of the same stock. Even now there are moments that I can look back and see moments when I started to realize that I didn't really love him. And one of those moments was when he held me at the mill. He was just comforting me after he made me look back at what was gone. I was weak, and he comforted me. He didn't stir in me the feelings that you do. He never has, but I was nothing but a foolish child then. I tried to dismiss the lack of emotion he stirred in me. And I couldn't see that the man I was married to was much more the man I needed than the childish habit of Ashley. I was a fool Rhett. Nothing but a fool." Scarlett sighed as if the confession she just given had exhausted her supply of words and exhausted her fight and fire.

"Scarlett, you were a fool, but I think you have really changed. You have to have changed to be able to admit what you just told me. And I think it's time we get a chance to be happy." He added.

Scarlett smiled back at him, "I think that you are correct, Mr. Butler."

And Rhett set about the task of dressing his wife relishing in the closeness that they now shared. Soon Scarlett was ready to face the world with Rhett at her side. "Rhett I am famished."

And at this Rhett's laughter boomed through the room. "Scarlett, is there never a time when you are not thinking about your stomach."

She smiled as she playfully swatted his arm. She tiptoed forward and whispered conspiratorially in his ear as a blush brightened her cheeks. "I wasn't thinking about food earlier."

And Rhett pulled her close, knowing that his dreams were coming true before his very eyes.

Ella was quite excited to see them as they entered the playroom. All of her dolls were carefully arranged around the table, and she had been lecturing them about the finer points of fashion. She jumped up when she saw them, the ruffles of her knee length skirt bouncing with every movement. "Mother! Uncle Rhett!" she cried.

Scarlett was unable to contain her daughter's enthusiasm. "Baby, are you feeling better now?" she quizzed with a motherly concern.

"Yes, Aunt Carreen was just in here, and I am just fine." Ella told them.

Rhett scooped her into his arms. "Well look at this, Little Miss Ella's pinafore is still clean!" he said with a laugh.

"Well I haven't been awake terribly long. I was so sleepy that I slept through lunch." Ella confessed.

"Ahh, yes I see. You are a child after your mother's heart. Fashion, Food, and Frivolity. Tell me, what business are you planning on running when you grow up." He teased.

Scarlett laughed with them. Ella was becoming so much like Scarlett as a child. And they were going to have a chance to be a real family together. But this thought was shattered as the door slammed, and Scarlett found herself face to face with a very angry Wade.


	28. Wade's Wrath

Chapter Twenty Eight

Scarlett was amazed at the depth of the anger in her son's eyes. The normally placid, gentle brown eyes flashed with embers of green. The twelve year old stood before her drawn up to his full height. He was nose to nose with his mother. Soon he would tower over her.

Ella was momentarily silenced by her brother's abrupt entrance into her room. "Wade, what are you doing?" She asked, a little concerned by the expression on his face.

"I'm protecting you Ella, since I seem to be the only one concerned about our welfare." Wade replied hotly.

Scarlett was shocked at his angry words; things had been going so well between them lately. It bothered her more than she could say to see him so upset. And it was quite obvious that he was upset.

Scarlett grabbed his hand and pulled him into the hall to avoid a confrontation in front of Ella who was watching wide eyes. "Wade, what on earth is wrong with you?" Scarlett's worry was evident in her tone.

"Mother, you are being stupid," he raged. "He's just going to hurt you again. He left you and you let him back into our lives like nothing ever happened." Wade was furious with both Rhett and his mother.

"Wade, don't speak to me like that. I am your mother!" Scarlett scolded.

"Yeah, but you only lately were reminded of our existence. Yes you sacrificed for us, but you never held us or consoled us when we were crying or had a nightmare. That was someone else's job. You either sent us to Mammy or to Aunt Mellie, but you don't have any idea how to do it yourself." Wade looked at her with malice in his eyes.

"Stop it!" Scarlett yelled. "Wade, I was just a child when you were born; you are right, I had no idea what I was doing. But I'm trying now."

"I like how we are now. And Uncle Rhett will ruin everything! He always has. I think the other kids parents were right about the both of you. You don't care about anyone but yourselves. Oh, excuse me, you cared for Bonnie, it's just Ella and I that don't matter." The hurt shone in his eyes.

Rhett quietly slipped into the hall to stand beside Scarlett. "And you!" He viciously turned to Rhett, immediately aware of the intrusion. "You think a few toys and few days spent here earns you the right to be in my mother's bedroom and in the head place at the dinner table! You think you earned the right to play father to Ella and to me? Well, you're wrong. You are dead wrong!"

Scarlett held out a hand to soothe him, but he jerked his body away from her. She was quickly becoming angry at the child. "You think you have the right to dictate what I do with my life? What your stepfather and I do behind closed doors is of no account to you!"

"You think that what happens to you doesn't affect me? Mother, I thought you were brilliant, but obviously I was wrong if that's what you think. Do you honestly think that your fighting and everything that you've done doesn't affect me?" Wade voice trembled with the anger that filled his body.

"I'm sorry, Wade, but I do love your mother. And I will do my best to not hurt any of you again." Rhett said in a calm manner in an attempt to diffuse the situation.

"If that's love, then I never want to have anything to do with it. You both have hurt each other. You hurt each other constantly. I'm not a child that is unaware of what has gone on in this house. Did you think I was stupid?" There was no attempt from Wade to stop the flow of fury that spiraled violently.

Scarlett's chin dipped for a moment, before it rose to its normal defense position. "Wade Hampton, I am you mother, and you will show me and your stepfather respect. I'm sorry for what you've gone through, but I still love Rhett. In fact I love him more than I ever have."

"And so you're going to let him destroy you again? If you are going to have him live here, then I am not!" Wade turned and ran down the hall, disappearing down the stairs in a rush.

Scarlett made a move as if to follow him, but Rhett held her back. "He needs to cool off."

"But what if he runs away?" Scarlett asked.

"If he runs away, he'll be back soon enough. Right now there is nothing that you can do." Rhett told her.

Scarlett sighed and leaned against the wall. "Is there no end to what happens? Will I never get any peace?"

Rhett pulled her into his arms, "No one else could have come through what you have gone through with such strength like you have. Nothing will defeat you."

"But Rhett, sometimes I feel so defeated. Sometimes, I get so tired of being strong. I hate trying to be calm and collected. Sometimes I just want to rage against the world. Sometimes I need a place where I don't have to be strong." Scarlett confided, fighting against the tears prickling her eyes.

"Scarlett, it isn't a crime to cry. Sometimes you need to cry. I think that's part of your problem." Rhett told her.

"I don't want to cry. I have crying. It does nothing for me or for anyone. And it makes me feel weak." Scarlett whimpered, the effort to hold back the tears was exhausting her.

Rhett stroked her hair softly, "You aren't weak; you have never been weak. I was the weak one, everyone was weak but you."

And at that the tears came; tears pouring from the depths of her soul.

Scarlett's fingers dug into Rhett's shirt, clinging to him as a drowning man clings to a life raft. Rhett sat down in the hallway, holding her in his arms. He crooned softly to her as one would console a crying child. Tears streamed down her face, soaking both of their clothes in the torrent. The sobs shook her thin frame, sob that had been waiting for years to be spilled. She cried for the death of her mother and her father. She cried for the destruction of the South and for all of the terrors that she had endured. She cried for Bonnie and her unborn child and for Melanie. "I don't know why I am even really crying, Rhett." She sniffled.

Rhett continued to stroke her hair as he told her wisely, "Sometimes it is the most extraordinarily ordinary circumstance that breaks open a long held back dam of tears." And then he pulled out a handkerchief and smiled at it, before he began wiping Scarlett's tears away.

And they sat in silence as she worked to regain her composure. And she felt as if a weight had been lifted off of her. Even knowing Wade was so angry; the heavy load of the years seemed to have dissipated.

Rhett smiled at her. "Sometimes, everyone needs to have a good cry Scarlett. Now here blow you nose." And then Rhett held her close, as a spring storm descended upon Atlanta.

The new mammy that Scarlett had hired came running up the stairs, "Miss Scarlett, Wade's done gone missin." Scarlett glanced at Rhett before rising to her feet. Was Rhett really right? Would Wade return?


	29. Running Away

Chapter 29

A brilliant strobe of lightning flashed across the sky, which was almost immediately followed by a deep roaring crack of thunder. The skies opened, pouring its full fury on the lone rider who crouched low in the saddle of his pony. The rain hit the ground with a forceful impact causing little clouds of dirt to rise in the air. But Wade would not be deterred. He was not going to stay in the same house with Rhett Butler. He was so tired of watching the pain that his mother went through. And so without realizing the path he was following, he fled Atlanta on the same path that his mother had fled a decade before. Although this time nature provided the fire with lightning and the thunder was not the thunder of cannons, but the pulse of nature itself.

His mind raced as he rode low in the saddle, clinging to the horse. He knew he was wrong to run; a real man would stand and fight. He was a coward in this retreat. And he knew and accepted it. It wasn't exactly that he wanted to spend time with Aunt Suellen and her brats. They were terribly annoying. But at the moment it was the only place he could think of going. Instinctively when threatened Tara was the place he turned to in the same way that his mother did. He didn't know what he would do when he got there, but he knew that he could do it. And his anger was the driving force as he rode through the pouring rain.

The horse beneath him seemed to understand the urgency in its riders mind. And the horse rushed in perfect harmony with Wade on the meandering path that Wade knew would come out almost exactly at the entrance to Tara. This was the way to safety. This was the way to disappear from the dysfunction that was Rhett and Scarlett Butler.

* * *

Scarlett ordered a search of the massive house. There were numerous nooks and crannies and hide holes that Wade could have chosen to hide in. But he was in none of them. And Scarlett was getting more worried with every passing moment. Rhett tried to soothe her and dismiss her worries. "I ran away when I was Wade's age. I was just fine. It took me weeks to come home. And then I only came home for my mother's benefit."

This did not placate her. "Well I am not the kind of mother that your mother was. Why would he even want to come home to me. I've been at times an awful mother." Scarlett was growing hysterical as she reflected over the span of Wade's life.

"Scarlett, you did all you could." Rhett soothed.

"No I didn't. You've said it yourself, I was a horrible mother to them. They were afraid of me. My own children were afraid of me." Scarlett sobbed.

Rhett worked in vain to calm her. "You aren't a bad mother, I was terribly wrong to ever say that. Please Scarlett. You love your children."

In fact it was a much smaller hand that stopped her hysterics. "Momma," Ella consoled. "Please don't cry. I hate seeing you cry."

Ella's small sweet voice broke through to Scarlett. Who in turn leaned down and pulled the child into a tight embrace. "Baby," she whispered. "I love you so much. I know I don't tell you that enough. But I do love you with everything in me."

Ella patted Scarlett's cheek. "Momma, I know." Which were the sweetest words that Scarlett could hear at that moment. Her child knew that she loved her. Her child knew. That chorus rang over and over in her head. And somehow it shook Scarlett from the guilt ridden haze that had just shrouded her. And with the breaking of the haze, her mind grew clear and analytical.

Now with the hysteria broken, Scarlett began trying to think where Wade might go in his anger. If Melanie were still alive, Scarlett was certain that he could have been found at the Wilkes. Or even if Wade and Ashley were still in town, their home would be the first place to check. Scarlett ran over a list of Wade's friends who might welcome him in refuge, but none seemed to be significant other than Beau. There was also Aunt Pitty's home. But somehow, Scarlett could not imagine Wade going there as his refuge. Although he looked like his father, he had too much of his mother's blood and personality to manage to deal with PittyPat's fussing for very long.

And finally Scarlett's mind determined that as her son, Wade might very well attempt to go to Tara. Rhett agreed that Tara was a logical destination. And then Dilcey's son, who was learning to be a horse trainer, came running into the Parlor where Scarlett, Rhett and Ella waited. "Wade's horse is missing. It's been missing since before that big storm. I just thought he was going for a ride. I didn't know there was nothing wrong."

Rhett handed the boy a crisp 10 dollar bill. "Thank you for bringing us the information. Can you please saddle a horse for me? We think Wade might have gone to Tara."

The young boy nodded. "Master Wade was asking about if there were any nice paths to ride on around Tara, " he confided.

Rhett and Scarlett glanced at each other in understanding. And so it was confirmed that Tara was Wade's destination for refuge.

* * *

Wade was soaked to the skin when he and his exhausted horse arrived in the stables at Tara. Water dripped from his clothes, and the rain had plastered his hair to his skull. He had started his journey with a hat, but it had been blown away somewhere between Rough and Ready and Jonesboro. The rough hewn logs that served as walls blocked the wind and moist air from the two. But it was nothing but a stable, and it was not warm.

Wade was bone weary. He hadn't even thought to grab food from the kitchen before he had run to the stables at home. And now the hunger gnawed at him. But he was too tired to even face the task of lifting food from the pantry in the house. So Wade carefully groomed the horse as he had been rigorously taught to do. Even his exhaustion did not stop the lessons ingrained since childhood.

And then he climbed the ladder to the loft and curled up in a ball, and allowed sleep to over take him. Surely no one would think to look for him here. Surely no one would find him. But he was cold and damp and he hoped that he didn't catch a spring cold from his perilous journey from town. But even Sherman's army could not stop Wade from slipping into an exhausted sleep.


	30. To Find the Way

Author's Note As always thank you everyone for reading and for the reviews. They are precious to me. And I appreciate those who take the time to let me know when anything is off. I have some more chapters swirling in my head, so another update is proably emminent.

Chapter 30

There were no stars to lighten the severity of the sky. They were all masked by the clouds that had earlier unleashed their fury on the Georgia landscape. The Spring air was chill and damp from the rain. And so Rhett rode as if the devil himself were breathing down his neck. Scarlett was off on her own horse making a similar journey in an attempt to catch up with Wade. They were both terrified and desperate to find the boy. He was not an expert rider. He had never ridden very far on his own. And in all of the thunder and lightning, Neither Rhett nor Scarlett was certain of what might have befallen him.

As a precaution they had checked every place in town that he might have found his way to. But he was not there. As a precaution, a telegram had been sent to Tara to warn them of Wade's possible arrival. But then they had set off on their horses, leaving Ella behind with Carreen and Prissy. Scarlett, who had rarely found the time to ride in recent years, followed the muddy path that she had followed years before, but now she did not stop nor did she find any need to avoid anyone. There was not an army between Atlanta and Tara.

* * *

Rhett rode the main road hoping to find a trail left behind. But he found nothing except mud holes too numerous to count. His horse was coated in grime, but this was nothing new for Rhett. He had survived fighting for the Confederacy in the final days of the war. He most assuredly would survive this ride to the middle of nowhere. In spite of the demons that drove him, Rhett smiled as he thought of the superiority of the conditions that he was now under. He was confident that they would find Wade safe at Tara and no worse for the wear, but he still scanned the sides of the road looking for signs of a crumpled body. However he found no trace that Wade had ever been on this road. There was no trace of him at all.

* * *

Scarlett strained her eyes in the near absolute darkness. If it weren't for the many times she had ridden this path, she most assuredly would have become completely and utterly lost. But as she rode, she saw the skeletal remains of the homes that once played host to barbecues and parties that she had attended. Not much had changed along this path in the last ten years. But finally Scarlett knew that the end to this path was fast approaching, and soon Scarlett knew she was only a mile from Tara. She prayed, yes Scarlett O'Hara Hamilton Kennedy Butler prayed that God would spare her son and that she would find him happy at Tara.

It wasn't that Scarlett felt that she was in the wrong. She knew that she and Rhett belonged together. But Wade had been through more than any boy his age should ever go through, and Scarlett longed to protect him in a way that hadn't been possible in his earlier years. Then she had only been worried whether they would have enough food to eat, but now she could focus on the deeper aspects of his life. Now she just hoped that she would get the chance.

* * *

It was two weary souls that rode into Tara that night. Rhett arrived only minutes before Scarlett. When her horse came trotting up the lane, Rhett stood ready to help her from the saddle. "I haven't found him, but that is a good sign. He's probably already here somewhere on the grounds." Rhett assured her. He swung her down from the saddle, and he felt as she nearly collapsed in his arms. He shouldn't have let her do this, but he hadn't the power to stop her. She had ridden so little lately. This journey was surely too much for her, but it didn't matter now. Nothing mattered now. Now they had to find Wade.

Scarlett stumbled in weariness as they led the horses to the stables. But the horses must be cared for before they themselves were able to rest.

"Wade's horse is in this stall! He's here for sure." Rhett exclaimed from within the structure.

Scarlett nearly wept with relief. "But where is he?"

"Well I would say that we should first check at the house. And then we can branch out from there. At very least, he isn't in here. I already checked all of the stalls." Rhett confirmed with a wave of his hand.

And so the two weary souls trudged up the path from the stables to the house. Mammy was sitting in the kitchen waiting for them. "Mista Wade, done not come heah. We'se not seen him at all."

"But his horse is in the stable… He's got to be here!" Scarlett cried the panic rising in her chest, as the recriminations danced through her mind.

"Well Miss Scarlett, theahs lots of place to hide on this heah plantation. You know nigh most all of em. He could be in any of the slave quarters or even in the woods. He could be most any place." Mammy told them.

"But he's just a boy! What if something happens to him, this is all my fault." Scarlett wailed.

At this Rhett pulled her into his arms. "He'll be just fine Scarlett. He made it all the way out here. He is your son. I think he could do just about anything he sets his mind to."

But when exhaustion and fear were forced to duel, it was still the fear that won the battle.

"I'm going out to look for him, even if I have to do it myself!" But Scarlett knew that Rhett would not allow her to search alone. She knew instinctively that he would walk every step with her and then walk more. She knew that he was just as worried as she was.

* * *

Together they walked through the falling down remains of the slave quarters. In any place that held any possibility of providing a hiding spot, Scarlett poked her head in and shone the lantern about until she was satisfied that Wade was not present. She climbed ladders rickety from disuse for there was a smaller chance of the ladder collapsing under Scarlett's weight, and she touched things that normally she would be too terrified to touch. But she was ready to risk all to find her son.

* * *

But she and Rhett did not find him in the slave quarters, not did they find him by traipsing through the woods. Finally thinking that she was defeated, Rhett helped Scarlett begin to walk back to the house. "He's got to be here." She protested once more.

"Scarlett, he's your son. He has your strength and determination. He's fine."

"That's right he's my son, and I HAVE to find him." Scarlett pulled away from Rhett's protective hands and staggered her way to the stable, for within the stable was the only clue as to her sons whereabouts.

Inside, Scarlett rested her head against Wade's horse. She stood there silently as exhaustion and fear flowed across her in waves. Few times in her life has she ever been so worried. But in this moment all of her concern rested on the safety of a twelve year old boy. And she had done all that she knew to do to find him. She didn't know what else she could do.

And that's when she heard the slightest creaking overhead in the barn. Rhett's head jerked up at the noise. She glanced around trying to locate the source of noise. And in that moment Scarlett saw a ladder leading up to a small storage room. She hadn't even thought of it, because Will had built this stable in the years since she had left Tara. But she rushed to the ladder, knowing that there was a small chance that Wade was now within reach. Her weary bones protested as she slowly climbed the ladder with Rhett at her heels.

The lantern revealed a small huddled form shivering in the cold dark stable attic. Scarlett crawled to him, her hand brushing away the hair that feel in his eyes. Wade was alive! Wade was safe!

But even in that moment Scarlett also realized that Wade was altogether too cold up here. That his damp clothes did nothing to add to his warmth. He was nearly blue in the lamplight. They must act quickly to save the boy. They needed to hurry and get him warmer or he might not survive. She moved aside to allow Rhett access to the boy. Rhett's strong arms lifted him and he murmured in his sleep.

Rhett crouched under the low ceiling as he made his way to the ladder. He set Wade down carefully beside the opening before lowering himself down. Then he carefully maneuvered it so that Wade began to descend the ladder while Scarlet acted as the puppet master from above. Soon Wade was safely in Rhett's arms, and Scarlett was finding her way down the ladder. A fresh wave of adrenalin had hit her, which enabled her to help Rhett's progress to the house.

As soon as they were inside Tara's kitchen, Mammy began bustling around trying to warm blankets to wrap Wade in. He was too cold. If he didn't hurry and warm up, he might never wake up. Scarlett and Rhett stripped Wade of his sodden clothes and placed him near the hearth on the kitchen floor. When the morning sun arose they would know how Wade would fare, and not until then would be it be clear.

* * *

Author's note I cannot call it hypothermia, because that word was not inuse until 10 years or more after this story takes place. But that is what I see it was being.


	31. When the Dawn Breaks

Chapter 31

Chapter 31

The only sound breaking the silence of the room was the crashing of a log as fire ate away at it until it no longer was capable of supporting itself. Then it would crash to the brick below, sending a shower of sparks dancing among the coals. Scarlett rushed about the room trying to find anything she could to aid in Wade's recovery as Rhett helped bathe the nearly teenage Wade in warm water in front of the blazing fire. Scarlett did her best to protect his dignity, so she left that duty to Rhett. Occasionally the kettle on the stove would sound its alarm that the water inside was sufficiently heated. Then Mammy would slowly pour the heated water into the bath tub allowing the heat to dissipate into the rest of the water.

Wade was now awake, alert, and shivering. His breathing had become regular and deep, unlike the shallow breathing that had earlier added to Mammy's concern. His skin was no longer bluish, but it was still pale and waxy. Mammy was slowly forcing him to take small sips of warm sugar water. The anger that he had fled with was now replaced by fear and guilt.

"You'se gonna have a nasty cold in the mahnin, Master Wade." Mammy chided. "You'se as head strong as yo momma was when she was just a chile." Mammy continued to grumble under her breath, enumerating a list of Scarlett's childhood transgressions which included a broken arms and an outbreak of poison ivy.

Scarlett paced back and forth across the room, a cough rattling in her chest. Her clothes still dirty from the journey to Tara. Mud clung to the edges of her skirt. But Scarlett was oblivious to the state of disarray of her ensemble. Mammy kept glancing at her, obviously displeased that Scarlett was still up. "Miss Scarlett, you best be getting to bed. Thar is a coff coming up in your chest. And you best be taking care of yo self."

"Mother," Wade said through chattering teeth. "I'm sorry." He shivered and drank another swallow of the mug that Mammy held to his lips.

"Wade, hush, you just need to get warm right now." Scarlett said in an attempt to quiet him. But her words were followed by a cough that seemed to be growing worse with every passing moment.

But he would not be deterred. "Mother, I had no right."

"Wade! We are not going to talk about it right now!" Her emotions were too close to the surface. Too much had happened in the last two days for her to be able to sensibly think about anything. She looked at Rhett imploringly; her head was throbbing and she simply could not deal with any sort of discussion immediately.

"Wade, I think it would be best if we could discuss this later. Your mother is still exhausted from staying up all last night with Ella. And it seems that she has caught a cold from our nocturnal adventure," Rhett voice was firm yet still gentle.

Wade glanced at his mother and saw the worry lines marring her face. Now that he was warming up, he could see that his mother and Uncle Rhett had obviously gone through a great deal to rescue him.

"How did you find me?" He finally asked, as guilt and trepidation flashed across his face.

Scarlett glanced up at him, the sparkle hidden in her eyes. "You are my son. Tara is in your blood… and Dilcey's son admitted that you had been asking about riding paths around Tara…" She ended it with another rounds of coughs.

"I'm glad you found me. I'm sorry." His eyes seemed to be looking far away. "I was so cold." Wade admitted.

"Well, nothing can stop your mother when her mind is made up," Rhett added with a chuckle. "God help any fool who thinks he can stand in her way."

Scarlett's green eyes narrowed in mock anger at Rhett's words. But then she grinned at him. Now she understood that his teasing was a sign of his affection. Now she could see that he loved. Now she finally was beginning to understand what love was. But another round of coughing shook her body, and Rhett was growing more concerned.

Once Wade seemed to have finally warmed up, he dressed in warm clothes and was sent to bed. Mammy would have dreesed him, but he quickly protested.

"Mammy, I am almost grown. You cannot dress me!" Wade said, his stubborn streak clearly evident. And he slowly climbed the stairs to the bed that was awaiting him.

Scarlett was nearing the point of collapse, but she still was sidetracked by the thought of the way that they had left Ella. "Rhett, can we go back home today? On the train? I don't think I'm ready for another ride like last night, " she confessed with a wheezy sigh.

The first rays of dawn were breaking across the horizon when Scarlett and Rhett finally trudged up the stairs to Scarlett's room. In agreeing to allow Will and Suellen control of Tara, they had been forced to keep Scarlett's room for her use and her use only.

She stumbled as she lifted her foot to rise from the top step, but Rhett caught her. His iron hard body providing the strength that she was learning that she desperately needed.

"Scarlett, I think you've got more than a little cough. Let me go get you something." Rhett said as he first carried her to bed and then tucked her in. Lines creased his forehead as he watched her. Her cheeks were flushed in contrast to her pale Magnolia skin. With the thought of her on his mind, he slipped down the stairs as her eyelashes fluttered shut.

It barely seemed he had been gone when he thrust a steaming mug in her face. "Here. Drink this." He commanded. And so she meekly did as she was told, something about him mad her feel powerless to protest. The hot concoction seemed to almost instantly dull the ache in her throat while it blazed as a fire into her body. There was something else in the drink, something other than tea. Scarlett looked at Rhett. "You put Brandy in here," she accused.

"Yes, Scarlett," he chuckled. "My mother always made us Hot Toddys when we had a cold. I thought Brandy would be your alcohol of choice to add to it." He carefully crawled into the bed beside her, gently placing his arms so that they protectively encircled her.

"Rhett, do I have a fever?" Scarlett said looking into his eyes.

"Yes, my pet you do. But if I know you, it cannot survive against Scarlett O'Hara." Rhett offered.

"Butler. My name is Scarlett Butler," she said with a satisfied smile.

Rhett grinned at her and pulled her a little more closely. "I love you Scarlett Butler. Now close your eyes like a good little girl." His lips brushed softly against her hair as her eyes closed. "I loved you the moment I saw you," he whispered.

And finally she realized through her sleep deprived mind, that she and Rhett had needed each other desperately when Bonnie died. But neither trusted the other enough to lean on the other. These arms could have held her, if only she had allowed him. These arms could have been her refuge for years. But if onlys were like waiting for tomorrow, and Scarlett had learned that there was no point in that.


	32. The Stubornness of Scarlett

Chapter 32

Scarlett opened her eyes slowly; it felt as if someone was staring her. In fact someone was staring at her. Her eyes slowly focused on her surroundings, and she was amused to find Rhett staring at her. She started to rise, but her head felt like it weighed twenty pounds as she tried to lift it. The harsh sunlight of the noon hour hurt her eyes and sent shooting pain into her skull. Her chest felt as if someone had been pounding on it repeatedly. Her throat burned like fire. But as always, Scarlett was determined to rise from the bed. The room spun around her.

"Scarlett, I don't think you should be getting up," Rhett cautioned.

"O Fiddle dee dee," she rasped. Her hand flew to her throat at the sound of her own voice. Her eyes glanced up at Rhett who grinned at the surprise on her face. "I'm going home on my horse, if you won't take me home," she threatened.

Her bare foot touched down on the braided rug that sat beside her bed. "How is Wade?" She asked.

"He had a cold, but turns out that he will be fine. It's you that I am worried about." Rhett told her.

"God's nightgown, Rhett, I'm just fine." Scarlett told him flippantly as she stood. But she was unsteady on her feet, and she swayed, nearly toppling. But Rhett caught her.

"Ahh, you are just fine are you? Do you want to get yourself killed?" Rhett's voice was like iron. "If I have to sit beside this bed and hold you down, God help me, Scarlett. I will," as he held her against himself.

"I am just fine. I am. I am," she raged like a spring thunderstorm.

Rhett chuckled as he felt her swaying even within his arms. "Of course kitten, you are just fine. You are perfectly healthy. In fact why don't you show me how very healthy you are and walk to the door."

Scarlett glared at him, but sat down on the bed reluctantly. He watched as expressions danced across her face, as she plotted her next attack. "Well, can we please go home. I promise, I'll be good," she said with a simper.

"Scarlett, I don't think it's a good idea for you to travel right now," his voice was laced with concern.

Her eyes twinkled as she carefully planned what next to say, "But I would feel so much better in Atlanta with Dr. Meade so nearby. I'm sure that it would be better for me and for Wade."

Rhett seemed to be considering these details. "Isn't there a doctor out here?" he questioned.

"Well, I have no idea. Old Dr. Fontaine is dead. So if there is a doctor out here, then I don't know him. And those I don't know I don't trust. And besides, I'm hungry," she added with a pout. "And Suellen doesn't fix anything much worth eating."

At this Rhett chuckled. "Are you sure you want to leave this White Elephant?"

"Rhett Butler, I finally figured it out. It isn't Tara that I must have, it's you. The nice thing is that I can have both when I need them." Scarlett's eyes danced despite the tell tale effects from the previous evening.

Rhett grinned, "Well I suppose that we could go in the carriage you bought for out here. We can take one of the field hands or Polk with us, and they can ride the carriage back. Anyway I think we could be more comfortable in the carriage than riding in the train."

Scarlett tugged on Rhett's pant leg like a small child. He bent down to her to see what she wanted. But instead of words, her hands wrapped around his strong neck and pulled him in close. Her lips welcomed his. He chuckled and pulled away. "Thank you, but no, I do not want to share your cold, my pet."

Scarlett smirked at him. It didn't matter, she would learn to understand him. He said that they were two of a kind. Surely that should make him easier to understand.

Rhett quietly left the room leaving Scarlett on the bed where he felt that she belonged. Scarlett waited a minute before shakily rising from the bed.

That's when she heard the argument coming from the room next door. It was clearly Suellen and Will quarrelling about something. Well, Suellen was quarrelling and Will was trying to calm her. "I don't want any more children!" Suellen's voice carried through the wall. "I want life to be like it was before the war! I want to wear pretty dresses and go to parties. I am sick of this. All of this." Scarlett tried to block out the words. This wasn't something she needed to hear. But before she needed to face making a decision whether to retreat, she heard the door slam next door. And then she heard hurried footsteps on the stairs, followed by the distinctive sound of Will and his whittled leg. And finally the coast was clear.

She paused before starting across the room, for her head was swimming. She blinked her eyes several times to regain her equilibrium. And she took a tentative step. It was wobbly but it held. And so she continued, one cautious step following another. The rushing in her head would not stop, but nothing stopped Scarlett for long.

She carefully made her way to the stairs and began her descent on the creaky old staircase. She prayed that Rhett would not hear the telling creaks or the soft sound of her footfalls on each tread. She was quite relieved when she neared the bottom few steps, but in her excitement, she miscalculated a step. She wobbled and wavered for a moment before she felt herself begin to fall. Her foot hit the tread below with a thud and a crack and it twisted hard. She cried out in pain at the shooting stabbing sensation in her ankle, but she was surprised that there was not more pain until she realized that she was in Rhett's arms. Rhett must have heard her slow progress on the stairs.

"Are you always so stubborn? You could have killed yourself, you little fool." Rhett's voice was razor thin. Images of her seemingly never ending fall had flashed before his eyes as he had rushed to catch her.

Tears prickled her eyes. But she would not let him fully defeat her. It didn't matter that he had been right about her walking. She didn't like him to ever have the upper hand, and now he did. She stuttered and stammered, but no words could justify the irresponsibility of her actions.

He carried her into her mother's office, where he set her gently down on the couch. She carefully pulled back her skirts, while he removed her shoes and undid her stockings. He then carefully felt along her foot and ankle. She winced at his touch. "I think we are going to have to take you back to Atlanta. I think you have nasty sprain, because you refused to listen to my advice." Already her ankle was swelling and turning bluish.

Scarlett leaned back on the couch. She had no one to blame for this current predicament then herself.

Mammy bustled into the room. "Miss Scahlett, what you done to yo sef now? I done tole you and tole you that you needs to be mo cahrful on dem stahrs." Mammy gave Scarlett a reproachful look – the look Scarlett had been ignoring for as long as she could remember.

Then Suellen entered the room. "What fool thing did you do now? Did your new shoes make you trip?" Her voice was condescending and snide.

Will followed behind his wife. Somehow his presence generally assured that Suellen was more likely to hold her tounge. "Scarlett, I hope you didn't hurt yourself too bad."

"Thank you Will. But I am certain that I will be fine," Scarlett assured Will.

"She will only be fine if she stays off of her feet," Rhett informed them. "So we will be heading home within the hour. She doesn't think she can stay in bed here."

Suellen turned and left the room. But still the words she muttered could be heard trailing behind her. "Good riddance."

* * *

Rhett refused to allow Scarlett to walk to the carriage. He simply took her in his arms and carefully sat her in the carriage seat. "Rhett Butler, I can do it myself," her raspy voice called out.

Rhett's sardonic smile appeared on his face, "Hmm, that's strange, I keep hearing a frog croak, yet the only person I can see is my wife. And yet I recall the last time that she said she could do it herself, she ending up nearly breaking her ankle and in turn her pretty little neck."

Scarlett's eyes narrowed as she glared at Rhett. She desperately wanted to protest. She hated any moment that she was not in control, but she could think of no argument that would satisfy Rhett. And her ankle was throbbing. Truthfully she just wanted to be at home in bed. Rhett held her as Wade and Polk rode on the front seat. Wade seemed to have recovered miraculously from the terrors of the night before. And Scarlett settled into Rhett's arms for the ride home.


	33. Thoughts While Riding Home

Chapter 33

Chapter 33

The carriage slowly made its way through the countryside to Atlanta. Spring was in the air. It was now thirteen years since the Barbecue at Twelve Oaks, and the land looked as fresh and bright as it had then. Birds twittered their songs, as insects flitted from one wildflower to another. Rows of lilacs bordered the path that they were traveling on, the faint scent of the flowers filling the air.

But Scarlett saw nothing of it. Soon after leaving Tara, Scarlett had fallen asleep in Rhett's arms. Without question she was still exhausted and her cold and sprained ankle did nothing to alleviate the discomfort. However, she slept soundly, oblivious to the world around her. Her chest still sounded congested, and now Rhett was certain that Atlanta was the best place for her. If she wasn't sounding better in the morning, Dr. Meade would be making a house call.

Rhett allowed his mind to wander as he stared out the window into nothing. He was still shaken by watching her fall. This time she had only sustained an injured ankle. But the last time she had fallen down the stairs replayed over and over in his mind. And then the words that they had spoken swirled in the air around him -- haunting him. "Who's the lucky father?" he had taunted. "I hope you have a miscarriage," more haunting than any words he had ever spoken. He had spoken the words to hurt her. He had driven the dagger home and then he had twisted it. He had known she would lash out. He knew how to make her dance the way he wanted her to dance. She might as well have been his puppet. But even the best puppeteers sometimes make an err in judgment.

She had tried to accept the blame on herself, but she was not to blame. Strangely a verse from the Bible flew into his mind "Shall the thing formed say to him that formed it, Why hast thou made me thus?" (Romans 9:20 KJV) He had molded and shaped Scarlett just as surely as the potter forms the vessel. Any grievances that he had with Scarlett were truly errors in his own work. First he had forced her to strip off an guise of the false grief that she wore in her black shroud. He could see the longing in her eyes to dance and wear color and be young. He had slowly whittled away a little piece of the façade that had been so carefully cultivated by her mother and mammy. He alone could take credit for all of Scarlett's faults. They were his creation alone.

That day on the stairs, she had looked at him with happiness and adoration when he and Bonnie returned, looking back now he could see that. But at the time he had been so certain that look only could have been intended for Ashley Wilkes. He had wasted so much time with her in his jealousy. But he had grown so accustomed to being unloved that he hadn't been able to accept it when it began creeping into her eyes. But that look , that day, had been his. She had been so … serene. And Scarlett was not a serene person. Until he had spoken, she had positively glowed. And then he had ruined it by insulting her. And then it whirled past him quickly. Those brief moments of banter on the stairs had nearly led to her death.

And then in the days that followed she had been so very ill, so very hurt, and so very weak. If only she had called to him, but then the startling realization hit. She very well might have, but no one had understood her. Everyone who had been in the sickroom had told him that she was muttering incomprehensibly. They said at times it seemed as if she calling out for someone, but then she would begin crying. Then they would work to calm her, for they assumed that she was crying out for the baby that she had lost. Rhett had brushed that aside in his guilt. He had assumed that she was calling for Ashley, but what if she had been calling for him. What if it hadn't been mere mutterings, what if she had been calling to him? And then when he didn't appear... did she not think he wanted her. His mind began composing a laundry list of the times when they had simply missed each other. If it was in his power, that would never happen again. But he was afraid that he was powerless to stop it. Perhaps they were star-crossed lovers like Romeo and Juliet and other classic literary characters. Perhaps it was just the way that things were destined to be. In those stories it was always their arrogance that was their downfall. Was Rhett Butler guilty of the same? Was it his pride that been what kept he and Scarlett at odds? He continued to stare into nothingness as he mused over these thoughts.

As the carriage rolled into Atlanta, the quiet peaceful calm of the country was replaced by the bustling noises of the growing city. The scent of fresh air and wildflowers was superceded by the pollution of the city. And Scarlett began to stir, her lips twitching as she shifted into consciousness. One eye opened and she gazed up at him. "Rhett," she croaked. "Are we home yet."

"No, my pet, but you have managed to sleep the entire journey. Did the sleep do you any good?" He forced himself not to chuckled at the expression on her face in response to his inquiry. "I take it you prefer your bed at home?"

Scarlett grinned and stretched. "I am throbbing all over. Muscles hurt that I didn't even know existed. I might not have fallen all of the way down the stairs, but even starting to fall hurt."

"Don't forget you also rode from Atlanta to Tara in the middle of the night, and then you spent hours scouring Tara for your son. You have every reason to be sore." His large hands slowly began massaging the tight muscles of her neck. She practically went limp at his touch as soft sounds escaped from her mouth.

"My kitten, are you truly purring, or is it only my imagination?" There was smile in Rhett's voice as he asked.

He started to pull his hands away, but Scarlett immediately protested. "Oh Rhett, please don't stop. That feels so nice." She turned slightly so that she could see him. "You can be so nice at times."

But as they traveled deeper into the heart of the city, Rhett pulled his hands away. Scarlett again protested. "I recall you telling me that you can live without a reputation."

Rhett returned her smile, "How is it that you can always recall my own words to prove your point, but seem not to have even paid attention to them if they don't further your goal. I am not certain that you have ever really listened to me. You rarely ever notice the words that come out of my mouth."

"That's because I am too busy thinking about your mouth," she flirted carelessly and effortlessly even though her voice was husky and raspy.

"You think about my mouth? What an interesting confession," he teased.

"Ooh don't be a skunk, Rhett! I am your…" but her words were extinguished as his lips found her hers. She smiled up into his eyes. "Well, you do have nice lips."

His laughter drifted lazily out the carriage, as a melody carried on the wind. "I thought you didn't want to share my cold?" She asked secure in the shelter of his arms.

"Well, sometimes you have to gamble to win big," was his response. "Besides, there is something seductive about your voice right now. I might have to play doctor when we get home. And I have to stay in bed with you the entire time to keep you in bed then I will." His eyes glittered with a wicked gleam as he spoke the last line.

And other conversation was put on hold as the carriage pulled into the drive of the Peachtree street house. Once the carriage had stopped, Rhett exited the carriage and pulled Scarlett down into his arms. As her mouth opened to protest, Rhett silenced her with a look. "If you recall, my darling, you have a sprained ankle. And it is inadvisable for you to do any walking." And at that Rhett whisked her into the house and up the stairs.

Once Scarlett was situated in her bed, Ella came running. Her Auburn curls bounced, and her skirts flounced. There were several smudges of some unknown matter on the front of the child's pinafore, which covered a pale pink sprigged frock that reached just below her knees. "Mother! I missed you? Are you okay? Where is Wade? Why are you in bed?" Her voice continued in a barrage of questions which were asked in such rapid succession that it was impossible to answer one, let alone all of them.

Rhett cleared his throat. Ella paused briefly and glanced from Rhett to her mother. "O" she said in a small voice. "I was talking too much, wasn't I?"

Scarlett smiled congenially. "I missed you too, Darling. And I have a cold, and I sprained my ankle because I didn't listen to Uncle Rhett. Wade is somewhere around here. And yes you were talking too much, but I still love you."

Ella carefully climbed into the massive bed and snuggled against her mother. Scarlett gently stroked her hair. And they sat together in contented silence.

It warmed Rhett's heart to watch two of the most important people in his life so at peace. But he knew that there were matters to be dealt with that were not so pleasant. "I think I'm going to leave you two ladies for a bit. Now Ella, you cannot let your mother get out of that bed," Rhett cautioned. "I'm going to find Wade. I think we need to talk, man to man."


	34. His Mother's Son

Chapter 34

Rhett carefully shut Scarlett's door, leaving Ella and Scarlett a chance to spend time together. Rhett walked to Wade's room and knocked on the door. There was no response to his summons, and so Rhett carefully opened the door. The room was orderly and empty. Only the scarred wood desk bored evidence that someone actually lived in this room. The desk had been found in the wreckage of Twelve Oaks and Ashley had insisted that Wade should have it. But the desk had been a gift from Melanie's father to John Wilkes years before the war. And so it was one of the few precious items that Wade was able to tie to his father. On the desk sat a letter that Wade had been composing to Beau. But seeing that Wade was not in his room, Rhett chose to not invade his privacy anymore than it had already been invaded.

Next Rhett checked the nursery which at one time had been Wade's refuge. But the large room was empty besides the shelves holding the toys that lined the walls. It looked like Ella even had mostly abandoned this room.

Rhett checked rooms from the attic to the basement, but still he did not find Wade. Finally as a last resort he walked out to the stables. Wade seemed to be at peace when with animals for they did not cause drama. And Rhett was rewarded for his efforts with guilty angry eyes.

"Wade we need to talk-man to man." Rhett told the boy who was perched on one of the stall walls. He stared at Rhett with malice and anger crackling in the air between them. It was so strong that it was almost palpable.

"The only man I see in here is over there," Wade defiantly told Rhett, as he motioned to one of the servants who worked in the stable. The man scurried away as he caught wind of the eminent battle between step-father and step-son.

"Wade, I'm not going to put up with this. You nearly got yourself killed. And you nearly got your mother killed." Rhett was growing angry but he refused to let Wade see how much he cared. Wade was his mother's son, and he could and would use it as a way to attack.

"Well, I guess that we're even. Although I think you have probably almost killed my mother more than once." Wade was not going to be forgiving. His near death experience had not changed him or his way of thinking. But as with his mother before, it had hardened him beyond his years. He grown up with such terrors that only a child living in a warzone could imagine. His earliest clear memories were of the siege of Atlanta and of the orange glow of the sky as the remnants of Hood's army burned the warehouses by the train tracks.

"Wade, your mother might let you walk all over her to make up for her lack of mothering in the past. But you will not talk to me like that." Rhett voice was deadly and calm, like the deadly still before the storm breaks. "You owe me respect."

"I owe you nothing. I will never owe you anything." His eyes flashed with disgust and distrust.

Then Wade jumped from his perch and tried to slip past Rhett who grabbed him the shoulders. "No, we are going to talk man to man even if I have to beat you. I've never beaten anyone who didn't ask for it, but you, son, are asking me to do this."

Wade tried to jerk away. "Why should I listen to you? Why should I trust you? All you have ever done is let me down. I may not have ever gotten to know my father, but I will never accept you as his replacement. He was a gentleman, which you sir, are not!" Wade's eyes blazed furiously. He twisted hoping to escape.

But Rhett's grip tightened. "Don't be an idiot, Wade! You already nearly got yourself killed. Let your mother make decision about her own life. It's not your choice to make."

Wade stopped struggling, but the anger had not left his eyes. "And how are you going to stop me?"

"I will stop you by force if necessary." Rhett dropped his hands, and Wade chose that moment to retaliate for a litany of wrongs that Rhett had done. Wade hauled back his fist and punched Rhett in the gut. However it didn't have the expected reaction. Wade's hand felt as if he had just punched a brick wall. Wade was certain thta his hand hurt worse than where he had punched Rhett. Rhett's laughter boomed throughout the barn. "You little idiot, every time you try to hurt me, you end up hurting your mother. And I know she hasn't been the perfect mother, but is this really what you want to do to her? DO you really want to punish her. She's been through enough already."

Wade's chin tilted in such a familiar imitation of Scarlett's that it was all Rhett could do to not begin laughing again. "Maybe you should have considered that before you left her, maybe you've forgotten that you caused a great deal of her pain."

"No one understands better how much pain I have caused your mother than I do, and no one could possibly regret it more. But our marriage was not a matter of right vs wrong. We didn't have a marriage like most other people. Few things in our lives are very similar to things to other peoples lives. And we both hurt each other a great deal. We hurt each other over and over again. But I am back. I am ready to make amends to all of you, not just your mother, and I intend to do everything possible to keep your mother from being hurt again. And I am here for you and for Ella. Because when I left I made a huge mistake. One of the greatest mistakes of my life. And I am paying for it. I will probably be making up for those mistakes fr the rest of my life. But it is not your place to police your mother's love life." Rhett was firm, but still he was gentle. He had watched Wade from the time he was a small baby. He did have a father's love for the child even if he was not the child's father. Nothing could stop him from caring. He was the only father the child remembered.

"I hate you!" Wade screamed. "I wish you had died instead of Bonnie, or I wish that you had died instead of my father or Uncle Frank. I wish anyone was alive besides you!"

Rhett ignored his hateful words. "I will not let you put your mother through anything like that again. You can act however you want, but you will not endanger lives like that. Your mother still could be more ill than either of us knows. She thinks that she is too strong to show weakness. Well let me explain something to you. Sometimes it is necessary to show a little weakness, because it makes you human." Rhett turned as if he was going to walk away, but then he stopped. "I won't treat you like my father treated me. But I will make is so you understand that you cannot be so reckless, in the end it will be your death on your head."

Rhett then removed his hat and walked away leaving Wade to stew in his own juices. The boy needed discliplie, but at the moment Rhett hadn't earned his trust. Scarlett was the one who should be taking over that roll, but she still felt so guilty for the past misdeeds that she was negligent in her discipline. With Ella it wasn't a problem. Ella was such an easger to please child, but Wade was nearly a teenager. And Wade was not easy to please. He had been an easy child, never too demanding or fussy, but then thats what Rhett had been told, that the easy children are the difficult teenagers.

Wade sat in one of the horse stalls that wasn not being used. All of the anger that had driven him earlier had been replaced by guilt, and grief, and remorse. Rhett was right. He had been the one to hurt his mother this time. He had been the one endangering her. And in the process he had also nearly killed himself. Despite his mother's many faults she didn't deserve to die because he was throwing a tantrum. No one deserved that. Wade bent his head and then the tears began falling in abundance. He longed to crawl onto his mother's bed and curl up in her embrace. There were times that you just needed your mother.

Rhett hurried into the house, he needed to see for himself again that Scarlett wasn't seriously injured or seriously sick. And he found her as he had left her, but she and Ella were both sound asleep. Rhett sat watching them and then he rose and stepped outside the door. Wade was standing there. His face was red and blotchy, and tear tracks showed clearly on his face. "I'm sorry," Wade whispered. Such a small amount of words that meant so much.

"I forgive you," was Rhett's response. And they met in an awkward hug. Then Wade slipped past him into Scarlett's room and joined his mother and sister on the bed. He snuggled up next to his mother as he had longed to do since he had been a small child. He lifted her limp arm so that it encircled him and he closed his eyes breathing in the scent she called Magnolias and moonlight. Sometimes you had to say you were sorry, and he still owed to to her. But sometimes you just need to be held by your mother. And this was that time.


	35. Mundane Musings

Chapter 35

Rhett wakened slowly as the light crept through the heavy draperies. He languidly stretched in the bed, while Scarlett remained soundly asleep. Her ebony eyelashes fanned out on her pale skin- standing out in stark contrast. Rhett smiled, Scarlett was a study in contrasts. She always had been. From the first moment Rhett saw her, she had been the picture perfect Southern Belle, but underneath she had had a life and vitality that was uncommon. She was fragile yet so unrelentingly strong. She was brilliant and stupid all at the same time. Through their marriage she had been completely faithful while completely unfaithful in her heart.

But now she lay beside him, the picture of unadulterated innocence. She looked like she was still a young girl with her eyes closed and all pretense set aside. Rhett knew of the contrasts inside of her that made her ten times the woman that most ladies ever were. Most ladies would never have survived what Scarlett had survived. The night that they had fled from Atlanta, she had been so terrified and so dead set on going to her mother as a child seeking refuge. But she had tamped down the fear and panic and made it home despite impossible odds. She had braved fire and an army, and she has succeeded. No one could stop Scarlett, unless she decided that she wanted them to.

And Wade was just as stubborn as his mother. Rhett and Wade had made a tentative peace the previous night. The boy had apologized for the way that he had acted, but he still eyed Rhett warily, as if scrutinizing him for any misstep. But there would be no misstep. Rhett and Scarlett had finally found a way to trust each other and openly give their hearts.

Setting his musings aside, Rhett slowly rose from the bed, and once he had risen and dressed, he returned to lightly kiss Scarlett's forehead. She stirred slightly in her sleep exhaling a contented sigh. The cold seemed to be fading away. Nothing like that would ever hold too much sway over her. She was too strong and stubborn for that. And Rhett quietly slipped out of the room to handle his business for the day.

When Rhett arrived home he found Scarlett and Carreen surrounded by stacks of purchases all relating to the upcoming wedding. Scarlett's eyes sparkled as they always did when she was busy taking care of something. Carreen happily was allowing Scarlett to do as she wanted with the wedding preparations.

"Baby, I'm sorry I haven't made much time to prepare for your wedding," Scarlett offered sincerely.

"Scarlett, darling, don't be silly. You have already done so much for me. I don't know what I would ever have done without you." She said it with no guise or manipulation. She glowed as only a soon to be bride glows. A sweet smile was continually hovering on her lips as thoughts of the future flitted across her mind.

Rhett watched them with an amused smile as Scarlett carefully made lists and figures into a book. "So are you planning on spending everything in my bank account?" he said with a snicker as he made his presence known.

"O, Rhett. You skunk!" Scarlett's delight in seeing him was not disguised with her snappish comebacks. "You know I can't spend enough to get rid of all of your money, even if I tried. And just because of that I have half a mind to try."

He chuckled at her for he was equally delighted in his time spent with her. "Sheath the claws, my kitten," he told her as he moved closer. He bent and kissed her softly on the forehead. Then he turned to his sister in law, "Why, Carreen you are positively radiant! You know I think you might be even prettier than you sister." His eyes twinkled as Scarlett squirmed in front of him.

Scarlett turned her head and glared at him for the comment and slapped the hand that was resting lightly on her shoulder. But she did not betray the way he irritated her with a word, "He's absolutely right, you are the prettiest little thing."

Carreen simply smiled at them. They weren't the usual couple, but nothing about Scarlett had ever been typical. And so she accepted it without question. Rhett and Scarlett belonged together. She had known even in the time before the war that Scarlett had never met a man who was truly her match. Few men would ever be equal to Scarlett in her mind. Scarlett was exalted in the same way that Ellen was. Scarlett was not always kind, nor was she always gentle. But she protected her own with a fierceness that was unlike anything else Carreen had known. Scarlett was stronger than any army or anything that she had ever faced..

Carreen quietly sat contemplating the time after the fall of Atlanta. It had been bewildering to wake up and find mother dead and father not himself. And Scarlett was not quite the same either. She was no longer the pretty flirting belle. She was hard and unyielding. But it had been she who had ensured that they would survive. If it weren't for Scarlett, Carreen was sure that they all would be dead. It troubled her that Suellen never seemed to realize it. That she only resented Scarlett for the work that needed to be done, instead of thanking her for all the work that she did. Scarlett never had asked anyone to do more than she did herself. And although Carreen was powerless to control Sue, she had many times stood up to Sue on Scarlett's behalf. Carreen only hoped that one day she would be able to give Scarlett back some of the strength and sacrifice that Scarlett had poured upon all of them.

"Carreen…Carreen!" Scarlett obviously had been saying something that she had missed in her musings.

"hmmmm…" she looked at her sister dreamily. "Were you saying something?" For the first time she noticed that while she had been thinking, Rhett had left the room.

"We don't have time for woolgathering if we are going to make this a decent wedding," Scarlett was stern in her business-like mode, and Carreen knew better than to ignore her.

"I'm sorry, sister. It won't happen again." Carreen offered as she returned to helping Scarlett make her elaborate plans. She wanted Scarlett to be pleased for she could see how much her sister was doing to make her wedding special.

"O Fiddle Dee Dee, baby, this is your wedding." Scarlett smiled back at her. "And besides it is fun to try to make your wedding like weddings were before the war."

The air seem to grow closer together, "I wish Mother and PA could be at my wedding, Scarlett. Carreen's voice was wistful. "Is Rhett going to give me away, since Pa isn't here to do it?"

"I'd be honored to." Rhett spoke from the doorway. "And don't worry about the money. Scarlett is right she can't spend all of my money. I'm just enjoying seeing someone so happy. It's nice after all that has happened."

"Thank you, Rhett." Carreen said softly.

Scarlett glanced up at Rhett. "Have you seen Wade?"

"Yes, in fact he is mucking out the stalls in the barn right now. And then I have some more chores for him to accomplish." Rhett's voice was firm as he entered the room.

"O, but Rhett he went through so much." Scarlett sounded worried about the child.

"He chose his actions. And he nearly got you killed in his reckless disregard for anyone other than himself. He needs to understand that there are consequences to his actions. Most fathers would have beaten a child that talked to me or you the way he has. So I think some chores are in order—chores that will make him wish that he had never said any of the nasty things that he did. You may not care if your children are soft, but I prefer that they be strong like you."

Scarlett sat for a moment contemplating what Rhett had said. "Fine! He does need some discipline. I just didn't know how to do it."

Rhett chuckled. "Well Wade doesn't think that I know how to discipline him or much of anything else either. He is surely as stubborn as you ever were. And we can discuss this later this evening. I'm sure that Careen doesn't need to hear all of this."

Carreen smiled and looked down. She felt awkward listening to a conversation that she was no part of. "Thank you, I think I'll go see if tea is ready." With that she rose from her seat and slipped out of the room leaving Scarlett and Rhett alone.

"Rhett, I hate to tell you this. But I have no idea what to do with him. He is growing so defiant. I am a horrible mother. You were right, a cat is a better mother than I am." Guilt shadowed Scarlett's eyes.

"No, I wasn't right. And few parents know what to do with a defiant child his age. And you are a wonderful mother now. Well, at least a good mother now. You love your children and that makes up for a great deal." Rhett seated himself next to Scarlett. He then captured her hand in his and brought it to his lips. They brushed across the smooth skin like butterfly wings. "I've said a good many things to you, that I should never have said. But I do love you. I love you with such a passion that it blocks out everything else. It is a poison in my blood, a fever in my brain."

Scarlett jerked her hand away at his words. "Rhett Butler, you are being such a cad. Why would you sully such a lovely confession by calling our love poison?" Obviously the words had struck at Scarlett in a way that the majority of his jesting could not touch.

"Scarlett, I didn't say that there aren't some poisons that make it worth your time. But I have tried to get you out of my head. And it never works. Nothing I've ever done can make me love you any less. I love you to distraction. I've put my life on the line so many times because of loving you. You are an impossible woman to forget. And it is impossible to get over you. I know. I've tried. But I'm done with that. I'm not leaving you again." Rhett pulled Scarlett into his arms. His lips found hers, but she pushed against him.

"I don't want your kisses after what you just said!" Her nostrils flared as fury shot through her veins. She rose from the settee and proceeded to flee from the room.

"But I want yours," he told her retreating form. "I'll always want your kisses."


	36. Tempting Tomorrow

Author's Note Thank you for all of my loyal readers. You know that I love you and all of your reviews. Welcome to my new readers. Thanks to my amazing fact checker, and a special thanks to Desiree. Here is the scene you requested. Sorry if this chapter isn't as deep or introspective as the previous ones. This chapter needed to happen. And I think it has fun parts, and it conveys much to carry us along.

* * *

Chapter 36

Rhett grinned at Scarlett as he crawled beneath the covers, something felt lighter, more peaceful. He felt as if the world were right no matter how she might be irritated at him. But she pulled the covers up to her neck in what would to others seem like a chaste movement. But Rhett knew Scarlett better than that. His eyes glittered as he leaned over to kiss her, but she pulled away from him. "I told you that I didn't want kisses from you." Her eyes sparkled -- partly amused and only a little annoyed still with his comments from earlier.

He chuckled as he stared at her. "Well if you would prefer, I could always go see if Belle needs company tonight…"

That resulted in a piercing glare, her indignation evident in her stiff posture. "You can stay here, but you aren't getting anything from me tonight." She settled down under the covers and turned her back to Rhett who simply chuckled as he lit a cigar. Scarlett was pretending to sleep, but the truth was revealed by her breathing. She wanted Rhett frustrated, but it took so much to ruffle his feathers.

She tugged on the covers, stealing them from Rhett. He made no sound nor did he retaliate. He simply put out the light and enjoyed the peace. And so Scarlett fell soundly asleep in her warm cocoon of blankets. Rhett listened as her breathing grew deep and even. She snored slightly in her sleep. And it was then that he chose to attack, for as much as he loved Scarlett, he loved her passion as much if not more so. Her passion was what made her who she was. So with a smirk on his face, he jerked hard on the covers, stealing them back from her. She stirred in her sleep, feeling the cold rush of air that reached her with the withdrawal of the blankets. She turned over tugging at them unconsciously. But Rhett simply tugged back harder, sending her spiraling her onto the floor. She awakened with a start as she fell to the floor with a thump.

"Rhett!" She squealed huskily.

His laughter rumbled through the air to reach her ears where she lay on the floor beside the bed. But soon he was beside her, gathering her into his arms.

"Rhett Butler, you are such a skunk!" She told him as the darkness shrouded them. His hands were warm against the coolness of the room.

"You aren't hurt are you?" His voice was thick with concern.

"No, but no thanks to you. Did you happen to remember that I am injured?" Scarlett did not sound amused by the situation.

"No, my pet, I hadn't thought about your injury, and honestly, I had no intention of you landing on the floor. But sometimes that is the best way for things to happen." She couldn't see his grin, but she could hear it in his voice. But he gently picked her up and lay her back onto the bed. The loss of his warmth seemed to chill her thoroughly.

"I'm cold, Rhett. Can't you at least hold me to make up for being such a…" but his laughter silenced her.

"I'm actually being invited to stay. I was sure that I was about to be banished to my room or at very least the floor." Scarlett felt as the bed moved from him getting back into the bed.

"Well, if you would rather…" but he silenced her with a kiss. She responded immediately to his hands that held her and the kisses that touched her heart "Oh, Rhett." She sighed. He paused and looked into her eyes with the little moonlight seeping in from the window. "I love you." There was no question in her voice. She was finally completely certain of the fact.

Rhett pulled her close, relishing the feel of her in his arms and reveling in the perfection of the moment. They finally got it right.

* * *

The plans seemed to go almost too smoothly for the wedding. It was to happen at sunset in the middle of June in the orchard at Tara. The actual date of the wedding itself was on the 13th, but there would be parties in their honor for a week prior and a week after. All four Tarleton sisters were thrilled to be a part of the celebration. Suellen had objected to hosting everyone at Tara, but Scarlett had insisted and Suellen had been forced to agree.

Ella was to be the flower girl. She was thrilled at the chance to dress up and look pretty. Betsy's little boy would carry the ring on a pillow. Wade and Beau both were to act as ushers, Beau and Ashley were set to return the week before the wedding. And Scarlett spared no expense on the dress. It was a creation in white satin with ribbons and ruching. It was slim in the front, yet overly full in the back. It was the height of elegance, and Carreen truly looked stunning in it.

Everyone was already talking about it. They were proclaiming it would be the grandest event in the county since the barbeque at Twelve Oaks. Carreen was so excited that she bubbled over with happiness. And Scarlett had sent a team of workers to work for several months at Tara to make the plantation shine.

There would be ball to follow the wedding in the bride and groom's honor. And then their would be parties following to honor the couple for their first day and second day. Scarlett was sparing no expense. Many people from Atlanta were to be attending the festivities. It was going to be magical, almost like falling back in time before the war and the devastation that followed. Of course there would be those that no money could replace -- the boys that had never returned. And that would remain in the backs of their minds. But it would be a time to celebrate their survival.

Even all of the neighboring homes were opening the doors to the guests that would stream through the county to celebrate. The South was again victorious for one of the "glorious dead" to be back among them and pulling the nearly spiritually dead Carreen back with him. There was true joy in the hearts of the County folk. Despite the hardships of the war, the heart of the Southerners had never really died. And now that life flamed brightly, the heart of a Southerner would remain for a hundred years to come. The South would always be the South.

Scarlett was thrilled to be the center of discussions. No longer were they talking about her past indiscretions, but now they spoke with reverence about all she had done for the county and for her family. Everyone was excited, even Suellen. Scarlett had grudgingly purchased Suellen a few dresses for the events. She didn't begrudge the gifts because of the cost. She disliked buying something for someone who was so completely nasty.

But Suellen was thrilled to have new dresses that were pretty and reminded her of the time before the war. With all of the activity at Tara, Suellen was allowed to live more like she once had. Mammy muttered once after observing her, "Miss Sue's done stahted giving huh self airs."

But nothing about Suellen could stop Scarlett. And so the time for the wedding rapidly approached. And Scarlett was anticipating the event, possibly as much as Carreen was. For none of Scarlett's wedding had been the wedding she had imagined as a child. Everytime Scarlett had married it had been rushed and simple. She had not loved and of the grooms as she vowed to love them. None of her wedding dresses had been the dress of her dreams. And so she poured her heart and soul into Carreen's wedding. Scarlett wanted everything to be perfect for it.

"Scarlett," Rhett said with a chuckle. "If I didn't know better, I'd think this is what it would have been like if you had planned your wedding with Ashley."

He was rewarded with sharp glare. He laughed at her frown. "I said if I didn't know better, but of course now you finally realize that you belong with me." They had fallen into a repartee that sometimes bordered on quarreling to an outsider, but somehow it made them more alive and in love and not less. It was the way that they demonstrated their love. It was the way that they were. And they could see that having what you love now and in your arms, is much better than waiting for tomorrow.


	37. The Start of New Day

Chapter 37

Chapter 37

Scarlett stood on the Porch watching as the sun rose over the horizon. The pale pink spread in streaks across the sky like ribbons of finest stain on dark velvet. Slowly the stray ribbons turned the sky into pale lavender. Then the sun rose higher turning the cloudless sky into a placid blue. The air held a chill in the early June light. Soon all of the coolness of this moment would be replaced by the intense heat of a Georgia summer's day. She turned her head as she heard the noise of a carriage making its way up the pine bordered road to Tara at this early hour. Something fluttered in her heart as she saw who was driving.

"Ashley Wilkes!" she exclaimed. "What on earth are you doing out this early?" The flutter she had felt earlier disappeared quickly, as if it had taken her a moment to realize that he wasn't the one she loved. But sometimes it is difficult to break old habits. And for so long her heart had beat faster at his arrival. So now it had done the same for a moment before remembering all that had transpired and her realizations about who he was.

"Beau and I are staying in the ruins of Twelve Oaks and sadly I didn't think to bring out provisions, so we came over to offer our services in exchange for food." Ashley smiled his old smile at his confession as if it were the most natural thing for him to offer. No other person could ever cause him to blurt out the things that Scarlett could unwittingly pry from him.

"Oh, Ashley… You don't need to work to enjoy Tara's hospitality. But you and Wade are always welcome here." Scarlett was pleased to see that a light seemed to have come back to life in his eyes. The time away from Atlanta seemed to bring him back from the state of living death that he had been walking in since Melanie's passing.

"I'm just so glad to be home, even if my home is nothing but a charred pile of rubble. My father always said that Twelve Oaks would always be the cornerstone for everything we needed. I'm thankful that he never saw his home and this land destroyed." Beau had already clambered out of the carriage sleepily and was making his way inside.

"Beau still seems to know his way around here even if he hasn't been out here since before his second birthday." Scarlett smiled at the door where the child had just disappeared. For a moment she thought of how amazing it was that they had all managed to survive that time, that desperate starving time after fall of Atlanta and after the war. It was now as if it were a badge of honor to held in her heart. It seemed to declare that Scarlett O'Hara Butler was a survivor, and she would always be a survivor.

"Yes Scarlett, Tara seems to be in his blood. He must have inherited a little of your love for this land. And honestly I love this land too. Tara seems untouched by the war. Standing here I remember coming here after getting back from my grand tour. Tara looks as lovely now as she did then. And I can honestly say Scarlett; you look as lovely now too." Ashley's smile reached his eyes for the first time in such a long time.

Scarlett smiled at the memory of that day, she too remembered it vividly. And she ushered Ashley inside to the dining room where breakfast would be served in short time. Once they were seated Scarlett excused herself to rush up the stairs and find her husband. Seeing Ashley now did nothing but make her remember how much she truly loved Rhett.

Scarlett grinned as she crept into Carreen's room bearing a breakfast tray overflowing with food that she knew Carreen loved. Tara was overflowing with workers, and this removed Suellen from kitchen duty which was one of the few things that she didn't complain about. And thus there was a great improvement in the quantity and quality of food served.

Scarlett expected to find her sister still sleeping, but instead she saw Carreen silhouetted against the morning light kneeling quietly, her head bent in pray. Tears of joy streamed down her face as her lips formed prayers of thanksgiving. God had sustained her and given her back a gift priceless beyond measure. But the sound of Scarlett's soft footfalls alerted her to her older sister's entrance, and so within a few moments she turned and lifted her sparkling tear-filled eyes.

"Are you ready for your wedding, Baby? Are you as excited as I am?" Scarlett grinned as she spoke, unable to contain the excitement for the day ahead.

Carreen's face glowed. "Oh, sister, I was just thanking God for his blessings. He is such a wonderful Father."

Scarlett carried the tray across the room and sat it on the table beside the bed. "You need to make sure and eat this. I don't want you getting sick from not eating enough. Mammy will have my head if I don't make sure that you eat." Scarlett chuckled, "Why I remember how she fussed at me about eating before the Barbeque at Twelve Oaks." A wistful smile momentarily crossed Scarlett's face, but then she quickly returned to the present matters at hand.

Carreen's eyes held a look of nervousness that she had not possessed before. "Scarlett, I'm scared. I'm scared about…. Tonight." The words were very hushed in a whisper meant for no one else to possibly hear. Her cheeks blushed crimson at the very thought of questioning such a thing.

Scarlett paused and stared at her sister. And she understood. She had been terrified in her own right on her wedding night to Charles, but she hadn't loved Charles which only made it more awkward. But with Rhett it was different, and she could use this knowledge to soothe her little sister. "It's really not as bad as they make it out to be. Just tell him that you are scared, and I'm sure Brent will try to make it easier."

Carreen's face was still aflame. "Scarlett, I shouldn't have asked. It's not proper for me to think such things…"

"Baby, I'm sure that every girl thinks about these things on their wedding day. Just remember that Brent loves you… and I know that you love him." They looked at each other and then Careen glanced away. "I'll be up later to help you get in your dress. I wish mother was here, but I want to stand in her place for you."

Careen nodded happily to her, and so Scarlett left her sister to her thoughts and slipped out of the room to finish making preparations for the day to come.

Scarlett had insisted that Ashley and Beau were welcome to eat with them at any time. She insisted that they come back for all meals until Twelve Oaks was capable of sustaining them. She still rigidly held onto the belief that had been commonplace before the war. And Scarlett was able to share in abundance. And so Ashley returned to his home without his son who had begged to stay with Wade and Ella.

He slowly wandered through the charred and crumbling ruins that had once been his home. There were no tears left for Twelve Oaks. They had already been spent years past. He thought as he wandered of the future he had imagined that was now as surely in state of ruination so complete that it was nearly unrecognizable. Some parts of the house still held traces of the life before, while weeds and dirt covered some parts so completely that he felt as if he were in a foreign land. Bees and Wasps buzzed about the remaining ceilings undeterred by the devastation.

The air still held the faint scent of char that clung to the walls and every surface. It was as if he were a trespasser in an alien land as he found his way through the more crumbled sections of the house. Finally he climbed his way out of the wreckage and began wandering around the exterior. At times he was forced to cut away vegetation that had grown up in the ten years since it had burned. Finally he found the cornerstone that his father had set to begin construction of the house. He bent and brushed the dirt from the words. "Intus silex , Hic commorari acervus". "Herein lies the treasure, Herein lies the treasure" Ashley murmured with a look of confusion on his face.

And slowly his father's words returned to him, "Twelve Oaks will always be the cornerstone for everything you need." Ashley ran his hands through his once golden hair. With a certainty that amazed him he knew that there must be something within this stone that would be of great importance. His father had insight much greater than the majority of other Southerners of his age. He had believed in the South, but he had believed in providing for his family more. He had been a practical man, aware of the limitations of the agrarian Southland.

And so he slowly turned and walked as a dream walker to the charred remains of where the tool building had once stood a lifetime ago. It took him a long time, too long he was certain, digging through burned timbers and the brittle choking weeds of the summer before to find the pick axe. But then he carried it back to the corner of the house. With all of his strength he raised his axe and swung it, sending chips of stone flying. This stone was meant to last forever, but Ashley was determined. He continued his attack on the weathered rock until finally there was a crack revealing a cavity within the stone. Ashley continued to pick at it until there was an opening large enough for him to reach a hand inside. And he bent slowly and peered into the opening as sweat glistened in the hot sun beating down on his back. He reached his hand into the cold depths and felt around. His hand touched a cold metal box which he slowly withdrew through the broken opening. He began to fiddle with the latch that held the lid in place. And he slowly opened it to see what the box contained.


	38. Discoveries from the Past

Chapter 38

The sun was unrelentingly harsh in the midday sun. Sweat glistened on his forehead and fell in drops to the ground after trailing down his pale skin. Ashely's hand trembled as he lifted the lid off of the ancient metal box, the hinges creaked, protesting the intrusion. But the box itself only contained a slim volume. Ashley was quite surprised to find only a book contained within the metal walls. The pages were old, lightly brittle with age, obviously the book had sat here for many years waiting fo rthe moment when he or one of his descendants would pull it from its rest. There was nothing on the cover of the book to explain what it contained, no writing or inspcription marred the simple lines of the facade. And so with the greatest of care, Ashley slowly opened the book. He slowly turned the pages, finding at first a brief family history up until the point of his birth. The ink had faded so that it was hardly darker than the paper it had been inscribed upon. And then he came across what seemed almost a letter, yet at the same time, almost a diary or journal entry.

In it John Wilkes carefully written script was a letter written many years before. Ashley smoothed the faded paper and began to read:

April 16, 1841.

My son was born five years ago today. All this book contains is for him and for baby India and for any other siblings that may follow. The Missouri Compromise and other agreements have done little to pacify the South. I must preface this with the admission that I am a devoted Southerner. I know that there is much talk about going to war against the North. Some are calling for Secession. I hate to think about what war would bring to our doorstep, for I do not see the rest of the states allowing us to leave the union without a fight. Some of my friends would consider my thoughts blasphemous. I do not wish ill of the South, but I also must protect my family. My little Ashely must be provided for. And so I am leaving in this cornerstone of the home I am building a record of my financial holding outside of America. Unlike some, I can see that if we were to fight the North, we could not win because we do not have the munitions factories and industries that the North abounds in. We have King Cotton and little else.

I hope that we can win. I hope that even outnumbered we can triumph like they did at Marathon or like David and Israelites against the Philistines. I long for the security and stability and confidence to know that my son will be raised in a world better than my own, but if we go to war that cannot be guaranteed. I shall keep the bulk of my money here in Georgia, and only a portion will go to the banks abroad.

And so I leave within this volume a list of accounts that I know by heart that will be given to Ashely when he is a man, instead of a new born babe in arms. I pray that he will never need to remember my words or my list of accounts. But this is the only future I can hope to guarantee for him.

John Wilkes.

Ashley's eyes had grown misty as he read. His father had seen as he had seen that war was not the answer, but they both had gone off to war and fought. And in fighting John Wilkes left his life behind and never saw the full reality of his own insight. His words written two decades before the war seemed almost prophetic now.

Ashley continued in his journey of discovery as he carefully turned the brittle pages. The pages that followed were covered with a series aof numbers and figures. The figures swam before his eyes. At first they made no sense, they seemed ad if written in an lien language incomprehensible to him. But then slowly he realized what information this volume possessed. It was a series of bank accounts as his father had described in the letter. Ashley knew that if he had the mind for figures like Scarlett he would have been able to quickly understand the amount his father had kept away. The amount hidden away in these accounts was staggering even from the little figuring that Ashely had mentally done, but logically, Ashley tried to keep himself from counting this ship before it came in. His father could have easily depleted them at some time and bought into Confederate stocks. But Ashley clung to the narrow volume that very well could restore his life to the life he had imagined.

But it would not bring back Melanie.

Nothing could do that.

* * *

Scarlett carefully curled the final dark curl and allowed it to drop into place. She could have allowed one of the darkies to fix Carreen's hair for today, but it was too important to be entrusted to anyone else. Scarlett carefully placed several pins in position before allowing Carreen to view her creation in the mirror.

"O, Scarlett!" she exclaimed. "You have done an amazing job. Why, my hair has never look so wonderful. You are a darling Scarlett." Carreen bubbled with excitement as Suellen glared at her sisters from across the room. She had never even had a nice wedding when she married Will. It had been very simple partially because everyone in the county still believed that she had killed her father. But Suellen blocked that thought from her mind. She refused to accept any blame onto her own shoulders. Scarlett always got everything and now she was babying Carreen like she was some little princess. But there was no one to complain to . And so she sat allowing the resentment to rise in her throat like bile.

Carreen was oblivious to her sister's black mood. She was floating and in such perfect happiness that nothing negative could affect her. Scarlett was in a boisterous mood. Her aubergine gown seemed to make her eyes greener and her hair more lustrous. Ella fluttered about the room practicing walking like a lady for her big moment. Her dress was made from the same material as Scarlett's but it was fuller and much shorter with rows of ruffles and ribbons bedecking it.

Scarlett slipped from the room quietly as Carreen asked to be alone so that she could pray before the ceremony. Scarlett had only taken a few steps when she noticed the door to her room was slightly ajar. She slipped across the floor and peaked inside to find Rhett holding Suellen and Will's youngest who had obviously been crying. The child looked perfectly content in Rhett's secure arms, so content in fact that the babies eyes fluttered shut and settled on its tear stained cheek. And in that moment Scarlett longed to be able to see Rhett holding her child again. She longed to give him a baby as bright and beautiful as Bonnie had been. Scarlett internally vowed that she would not make the same mistakes that she had made with Bonnie. She had learned to be a mother in the time since Bonnie's death.

Something in Scarlett's movements must have alerted Rhett to her presence. He turned slightly towards her and grinned. His free handmade its way to his lips as he offered as cautious "shhhh." Scarlett walked softly to beside the bed where Rhett sat. She held out her hands, offering to take the baby. Rhett reluctantly agreed. But it warmed his heart to watch Scarlett holding a baby again. This child looked nothing like any of Scarlett's babies had looked. This child looked like Will, with fine blond hair so pale that the child looked as bald as an old man.

But Scarlett seemed completely at ease with the child in her arms. She sang softly in her slightly off-key soprano. But at that moment no sound could have been sweeter to his ears.

"Rhett, I... I..." Scarlett stammered unsure of how to broach the subject with her husband.

"Yes, Scarlett. Please, out with it. Go ahead and spit it out." Rhett was direct as always in prying the information from her lips.

"I want to have a baby." She said looking down, afraid to see anything other than excitement and joy in his eyes.

"Not now Scarlett, not yet..." he firmly told her.

"But Rhett..." Scarlett continued.

But outside the door came the distinct sounds of Prissy bellowing, "Miss Scarlett, Miss Scarlett...Mr. Wilkes is here ta see yah. He says it be right ipo'tant." Scarlett glared as she handed the baby back to Rhett.

Rhett's eyes still held the resolute look in his eyes. "We'll talk about it later Scarlett." She turned and hurried out of the room determined to get her own way. Shewas still Scarlett O'Hara Butler. And no one stopped her.


	39. Days Gone By

Chapter 39

Scarlett slowly thumbed through the pages of the musty book that Ashley had handed her nearly numb with shock. Her eyes grew wider and wider as she read the number at the end of each page. She mentally tallied the numbers as she went, settling on a number that amazed her. "Ashley, where did you find this?"

His grey eyes stared into her green ones. "My father left it for me in the cornerstone of Twelve Oaks. He obviously was a man of greater insight than I even realized. But Scarlett, this was written a long time ago. He very well may have taken money out of these accounts. I'm going to go to Atlanta tomorrow to wire these banks and check on the accounts. I can't get my hopes up yet Scarlett. I know its only money, but it means that Beau will be taken care of and I can sell the mill." He paused as soon as he said it; he was afraid that Scarlett would be upset about his disposal of the mill.

"Only money, Ashley Wilkes, only money! God's nightgown, I would have given my eye teeth to find something like that in this house showing that we weren't destitute after the war. Ashley do you realize what you can do with that money? Ashley you can return Twelve Oaks to some of her prewar splendor, if you want to…." She was getting so excited about the money that was momentarily confused by the look of concern on his face. "O, Ashley, I don't care about the stupid mills anymore. I did, but I have learned that there are some things more important than that mill."

He looked relieved to hear those words coming from her mouth. "Scarlett, I so did not want to offend you by selling the mills, but this will allow me to be a gentleman scholar again. I can be the man I always saw myself into growing into."

"Ashley, I think that we need to put this in the safe. This is too important and valuable to leave lying around." She took the book and carefully placed it in the safe that she had installed for the safe keeping of her jewelry while she was at Tara. He smiled as he watched her. "I'm glad that I still have you, Scarlett, even if you will never really be mine."

The words stirred no passion in her, nor did they contain any passion from Ashley. It was if each were one of the few remaining landmarks in a burned and barren landscape. And with Melanie gone, Scarlett was the last bastion of his childhood that he could cling to, but he knew that she did not love him. He knew that she had never really loved him. But still Scarlett offered him her strength and her time as a friend who had been through hell and survived.

Suellen chose that moment to interrupt them. "Why, Ashley Wilkes. You have no right looking as dapper in our poor little home." She simpered.

Scarlett's head jerked as she stared with her mouth open at Suellen's flirting. Ashley smiled kindly at her, seeing some spark of Scarlett living through her sister. "How do you do Suellen? You are looking quite lovely today." He assured her.

Scarlett glanced from one to another. She shook her head and slipped out the door and headed back upstairs to find Rhett.

Suellen smoothed her dress, adjusting it so that it fell properly. She brushed aside the thought that it had been Scarlett who had purchased the dress for her. All that she could think of was that she had married much beneath her own status. And standing in front of her was a man who was socially her equal or above her before the war. And with no one else could she flirt with to anger Scarlett more. She was tired of living the meager life that they had been living. Even if Twelve Oaks was nothing but rubble, Ashley would always be a gentleman.

But Ashley gently brushed her aside as he hurried from the room to ponder his new found discovery. He was almost afraid to hope that there might be anything still in those accounts. And he longed for Melanie to be at his side to tell him what to do. She was always level headed, and he needed her wisdom. Not that there really was a question of what was to be done. In truth it was really a simple matter. He would check the accounts to see if anything was left, it was moving on from that thought that confounded him. It had been too long since he'd done anything more than get by.

Suellen was slightly stung by his lack of acknowledgment. Was she not pretty enough. Everyone had always compared her to Scarlett, her eyes were not nearly as lively and sparkling, and instead of brilliant green they were muddy brown. As children, Scarlett had referred to the color of Suellen's eyes as manure eyes. She also knew that she wasn't pale like Scarlett from life on the farm and her waist wasn't nearly as small. But there were remedies for removing the color from her face, just as there were ways to aid in abating the discomfort that she had been feeling of late. There was a flu bug going around and she was certain that she doing nothing more than fighting it. But she would make Ashley notice her. She might not be Scarlett O'Hara, but she had always been just as stubborn as Scarlett.

And besides Suellen wore it as a badge of honor that she had never stolen another's fiancée or done any of the scandalous things that Scarlett had done during and after the war. Why Suellen was sure that Scarlett had even tried to steal Ashely from Melanie, but now Suellen would steal him before Scarlett had the chance. This would be the ultimate revenge, and for a while the whole issue of being married never occurred to her. She finally had the chance to get revenge on Scarlett and she would use it.

* * *

Scarlett was surprised to find her room empty. Rhett had left no trace that he had ever been there other than a faint scent wafting in the air. Scarlett contemplated lying down on the bed, but she knew that is she did she would not rise soon enough to accomplish all of the tasks at hand. So she softly slipped down the stairs and out the front door. The mid afternoon air was stifling as waves of heat washed over her. But Scarlett raised her skirts and took off running as fast as her small feet would carry her for the privacy that the row of pines offered. No one could see her from the house. Her sides hurt and she felt slightly dizzy as reached her destination. It was cool inside the dim tunnel that they formed.

Once past the pines though, Scarlett set off across the fields towards the swamp. Her mind flitted back to the day before the war when she had followed this same path to find the news from pa about Melanie and Ashley engagement. As she slowed her pace she thought of the long lazy final days of that spring. She dreamed about the days of sitting on the porch with Brent and Stuart, of the sound of the darkies from the quarters, the familiar sounds that had disappeared in a blaze as Sherman set his path ablaze behind him as he marched across Georgia.

But the faint sounds of the birds in the trees and the cattle in the pasture broke her reverie. She looked in front of her, and with one of the blackened chimneys of Twelve Oaks standing sentinel in the background, stood Rhett. His skin was bronzed as a worn penny, and his muscles rippled under his well tailored clothes even as he leaned against a tree.

But he heard her approach and turned to see who the interloper was. "I thought you'd still be talking with Ashely about his important business."

Scarlett laughed flirtatiously as she smiled at him, "O, Rhett, how many times must I tell you that I don't love Ashley, I love you."

He grinned in response. "Maybe I already believe you, but maybe I just like making you repeat it."

Scarlett chuckled, "Oh, you varmint." Her smile reached into her eyes ,and they sparkled and danced with life. She began to make another caustic remark but his placed his finger on her lips. There his finger rested for a moment feeling the softness against his weathered finger. Then he raised his finger and delicately traced her profile, settling once again on her lips. His finger slowly moved back and forth igniting the nerve ending residing under the tender pink flesh.

Without her realizing it, he was pulling her closer, slowly eroding the air that separated them, so that he could feel the accelerated pace of her heart beating inside her chest. His finger slipped away so that his mouth could gain domination over her and wield total control. His kissed left her short of breath and oblivious to the world around them. Everything faded into nothingness except for the touches of his lips on hers. She groaned and he took full advantage, and if it weren't for his arms holding her against him she would have collapsed to the ground. "Rhett... Rhett... You're making me dizzy."

He pulled slightly away staring down into the depths of her eyes that had suddenly deepened from pale jade to a rich deep emerald. She found it impossible to hide anything within them, every emotion flashed across them for all but the most casual observer to discover. And now they contained two emotions that often worked hand in hand. For within those depths he saw love and a passion that seemed to be consuming her. But now was not the time for this. He knew that if he didn't take control there would be garments strewn across the ground, and they would be late for the wedding. He held Scarlett lightly for a moment longer until she seemed to regain her composure.

"I guess we have to get back to the house and finish preparing for the wedding." She sighed longing just to stay in Rhett's arms, but she squared her shoulders and began walking back to the house across the pasture. She stumbled as she went and would have fallen if it weren't for Rhett's steadying hands.

He looked at her with concern in his eyes. "Scarlett, are you feeling all right?"

"I've just over done things today. I think I forgot to eat dinner after all of the fussing I did at Carreen to make sure that she ate something." Scarlett's face was had an almost sickly pallor to it, but she refused to worry Rhett about it. The day was hot and she had been much too busy all day. Rhett stayed beside her gently ushering her into the house and demanding that she rest for a few moments with the threat that if she didn't lay down that he would force her and remove her corset and hide it from her so that she couldn't wear her new dress. She obliged with one simple condition.

"Rhett, I will rest if you will lay beside me and just hold me."


	40. The Wedding

Thanks for all of the reviews. I love them. Thanks to everyone who has been to faithfully reading and reviewing, and welcome to the new readers. Hope you all are enjoying the story even a fraction as much as I am enjoying writing this. Sorry that it took so long to get to the wedding, but there was awhole lot that i wanted to happen then. But so without furthur adieu here is "The Wedding".

Chapter 40

The light seemed to shimmer in the sultry air as if it were dancing an intricate and well rehearsed ballet. The sinking sun cast its rays though the branches of the orchard where the county folk and the visitors from Atlanta had assembled. And it illuminated the trees with a golden fire that crackled and shimmered. A harpist played the soft notes that danced through the air as a resplendent Carreen made her way to the end of the aisle to begin her march to the altar.

Brent beamed as he watched his beaming bride approach. He thought of nothing other than her. He blocked out thoughts of the man who should have been standing beside him and of the other men that should have also been there. But no one stood beside him. And no bridesmaids waited for Carreen. At the front it would only be the two with the priest. All of the gathered family and friends sat on the hard wooden benches that had been placed in well spaced rows. But when the expected notes of music crescendo, all rose to their feet as they watched the bride begin her march down the aisle.

She seemed to glow, as if the joy inside of her was manifesting in an illumination cast from the center of her very soul. And surrounding her everything else seemed lovelier as well as if her joy spread out its beauty and peace upon all gathered there. She followed the rose strewn path behind the bouncing Ella in a luxuriantly happy daze. Her gown was a masterfully crafted creation with delicate seed pearls flowing across it as a waterfall.

Scarlett smiled as she watched Rhett walked her baby sister down the aisle as tears formed in her eyes. She focused on the moment to allow herself to enjoy it to its fullest, to allow a moment of happiness untouched by the war and unseeing years.

Across the aisle from the O'Hara side, the normally tough Mrs. Tarleton was crying and sobbing as her husband tried to comfort her. Scarlett could only imagine that she was thinking that this was the only son she would ever see married, and it made her think of the rest of her boys even as she tried to enjoy the blessing and beauty of the moment.

All too soon the walk up the aisle was over and Rhett found his seat beside her. The words were spoken, the responses given. The readings were read, although the ceremony seemed elaborate and foreign to the majority of the guests who had not been raised in Catholicism. The ceremony was long and drawn out and the children stirred in their seats, and Scarlett caught her mind wandering as she stared blankly at Carreen's back. Her head ached dully, and she leaned heavily on Rhett as a wave of dizziness washed over her.

Sometimes it takes more than time to grow up. Sometimes it takes events that break the heart to see and understand what is precious and to see the mistakes that had been made. But Scarlett smiled to herself as she realized that at least she still had a chance to make up for some of the mistakes of the past. And she was trying to be the woman that her mother would have been proud of. But she could not turn devotedly to religion as her mother and Carreen had done. It had only now been almost a year since Bonnie's death. But it seemed like only yesterday that Scarlett had held that small white hand in her own. It seemed in one moment that it had been a brief second and a lifetime since those laughing blue eyes had looked into her own with a sparkle of mischief and laughter.

She broke free from her musings as Rhett stood beside her along with the rest of those assembled. It was another of the countless responses and hymns that were all a part of the wedding ceremony. She struggled to stand to her feet. The heat was pressing on her as a heavy weight and she barely felt strong enough to rise to her feet. Rhett turned slightly to gaze at her face. His concern was evident as he stared at her ghostly pallor, her eyes squinting as a grimace crossed her face. Knowing that if he chose the wrong method in assisting her he chose his action carefully, he shifted slightly and carefully wove his arm around her back offering her his strength and support.

He felt her sag into his strength. She normally didn't show any weakness, so this display was rare even if no one else noticed her fatigue. It worried him. She probably had simply over done in the last few days preparing for the wedding, but he would watch over her more carefully and make sure that she wasn't ill.

* * *

Finally the wedding was over. Scarlett stood and Rhett supported her as the followed Carreen and Brent down the aisle. There was to be a large crowd mingling and congratulating them. And then the cake would be cut. But instead of joining the crowd, Rhett ushered Scarlett into the house.

"Scarlett, what is the matter with you?" Rhett asked as soon as the door was shut.

She shook her head wearily. "I don't know." He took her chin in his hands and lifted it so that he could look into her eyes which were cloudy. A solitary tear slipped from her eyes and found its way across the pale skin. Only a weariness so great that she was unable to fight could have brought on these unbidden tears.

Rhett gently scooped her into his arms and carried her slight body up the stairs to her bedroom. She started to weakly protest, but with one glance, Rhett silenced her. And if the truth was to be told, she was too weary to enjoy the festivities outside anyway.

Once inside the privacy of their room, Rhett undressed her as Ella would have undressed a rag doll. "I'm so tired Rhett," even her voice was weak as if the very effort of speech was robbing her of all of her remaining energy.

He quickly finished undressing her, relieving her of the corset that had so tightly held her in. She immediately gasped as she was able to take in a full breath. Then her breathing grew deeper as air was allowed in to her body, and he carefully laid her on the bed. Her eyelashes fluttered shut, and Rhett carefully covered her with one of the quilts despite the warmth of the day. The sun was just setting and soon the warmth would dissipate leaving a distinct chill in the air.

* * *

Suellen watched as the people she had known all of her life swarmed around Carreen offering heartfelt congratulations and words of advice and wisdom, words that had never been spoken to Suellen. A day like Suellen never had been able to have. Suellen had enjoyed none of the celebrations that normally followed a wedding. The war had robbed her of the life that she had dreamed of living.

And so Suellen fumed as she watched. Carreen, the baby, or Scarlett, pa's favorite, had always gotten all of the attention. Time had not changed that. She was tired of it. She was tired of having to play second fiddle. Everyone knew that she had married beneath her stature. She had married a Cracker. She had married poor white trash. And yet somehow they still respected Will more than they did her.

They blamed her. She knew that they did. They blamed her for her father's death and probably for a myriad of other complaints. She was outcast, the pariah of Clayton County. It wasn't right, it should be Scarlett the cast off. Scarlett was vile and mean and cruel. Why it was Scarlett's fault that Suellen was a pariah. Why if she had been able to marry Frank, she would still be in good standing. She hated this life and this society. When the Wilkes had left, Suellen had been forced to marry Will. There had been no choice. And now she lived this life of drudgery and dullness. And now watching as beauty and joy surrounded her, she resented what her life had become even more.

Then out of the corner of her eye she spotted Ashley. He was a part of the crowd yet separate. Still grief seemed to cling to him loosely like the leaves cling to a branch even after the fall has come. Most of the grief seemed to have fallen away, but it was evident that at least at the moment he was thinking of who wasn't there to be a part of the celebration. And so Suellen would comfort him, for a moment she could pretend that she was Scarlett before the war.

His grey eyes stared into her brown ones. "Suellen, darling, how are you?"

She smiled. At least he had noticed her. "Why, Ashley Wilkes, you, darling, you." She simpered as she had watched Scarlett do countless times before as she had sat on the porch dazzling all of the county beaux. "Why it is not right for gentleman such as yourself to pay any attention to little ole country girl like me. Why you are so refined. Why I am sure that I would simply make a fool of myself." Ashley smiled kindly at her and offered her his hand as he led her to the punch table. He saw through her game as he had never seen through Scarlett's. But in all truth Scarlett was always much more convincing at her game.

* * *

Beatrice Tarleton sat and watched with sharp eyes. "Suellen, is going to make a fool of herself." She thought to herself. "She hasn't half the charm or half the sense of her sister, and yet look at all the damage Scarlett has done to her own reputation. She's risen above it, but now Suellen is throwing herself at a married man." She glanced around the yard trying to catch a glance of Will, but he was no where to be found. Nor was Scarlett anywhere to be seen. Then at that moment Rhett appeared slipping out the front door. Beatrice hurried over to talk to him. "Rhett, have you seen Will or Scarlett?"

Rhett smiled, "No Ma'am, I have not seen Will, but I just made Scarlett lie down. She wasn't feeling quite well after the ceremony." He paused as he watched her scrutinize him. "Is there anything I can help you with?"

Beatrice frowned. "Not unless you can stop Suellen from throwing herself at Ashley Wilkes."

Rhett smirked, "Unfortunately, I've had very bad luck in stopping anyone from throwing themselves at him."

"Well, she is making a fool of herself. She's a married woman, and she still isn't in very good standing in this area as it is." Beatrice cautioned.

Rhett shook his head. "I don't think anything but death himself can stop an O'Hara girl from getting what she wants." There was a chuckle to his voice as he thought of the Scarlett of days gone by. He thought of the defiance her eyes had once held and the arrogance of her tilted chin. And he longed to be beside her. And so he tactfully ended the conversation and headed into the house to join his wife in bed. She looked so vulnerable that he wanted nothing more than to stay at her side and protect her from anything that might try to harm her.


	41. Scarlett' s Sickness

Chapter 41

The sky was still gray with only faint tinges of pale pink when Scarlett's eyes opened. She realized with a start that she had missed the entire party. She who had worked so hard had felt too queasy and dizzy to even enjoy it. Why it was a crying shame to have missed the best party in the county for over a decade. And she had spent a fortune on the food and the decorations. Why it would have been like life before the war and she had missed all of it. She had felt too ill to do anything but lie in her bed and sleep, not that Rhett would have let her even try to enjoy the party. He had hovered over her all evening despite the festivities just outside.

The heat must have affected her. That was the only explanation that seemed to make any sense, but with contemplation that rational failed as well. She had worked back breaking hours under the blistering sun as a field hand in the odd half life that they had lived after the war, as if they were all only barely surviving to see the sun rise the next day. But she had worked countless hours with the hot sun beating down on her back and shoulders as the cotton plants tore at her hands and she had not grown faint.

Well then it was possible that she had eaten something that had not set well with her, but in all truthfulness she had eaten very little lately. She just hadn't felt very hungry at all. But the lack of food couldn't have caused this because she had endured starvation. For a moment she tried to find a feasible explanation, but eventually she let the worry over the situation slip from her mind as she listened to the faint song of the crickets under the window.

She lay still listening to the sound of Rhett breathing beside her. His hand was carelessly draped across her stomach as he snored lightly in his sleep. She knew that he had missed most of the party to be at her side. Hot tears sprang to her eyes as she thought of all of the fun that she had missed. But she wouldn't think about that now. She might not even think about it tomorrow. So she snuggled closer to Rhett's side, the warmth of his skin acting as balm to the injustices that had been done to her soul.

All of the world was right with Rhett at her side. He was her protector and defender. He had been with her in some of the most difficult times of her life, the only person who had stood by her more resolutely had been Melanie. And for a moment she thought of Melanie and Ashley. She thought of the happiness Melanie would have found in Ashley being able to return to his scholarly pursuits instead of the drudgery that they had lived in since the war.

* * *

She fell into a restless sleep. All of the warmth and security vanished, and she was running through the cold clinging fog searching for something, something that was eluding her grasp. Slowly everything got warmer until it seemed as if she was on fire. She struggled against the covers until she felt a soft coolness wash over her.

When she woke again later, the sun was pouring through the windows. Mammy was standing at the window, opening it to let the breeze blow into the room to blow some of the growing heat from the house.

Her stomach lurched uncomfortably. But she dismissed with the thought that she was hungry. She started to rise from the bed because she had never been one to lie around. But she was met with a blinding headache as a wave of dizziness that momentarily stole her breath. At that moment, Rhett reentered the room with a tray overflowing with breakfast foods. When the smell of the rich meats reached her nostrils, her stomach lurched so violently that she leapt from the bed and rushed to the empty bowl sitting on the dresser where she emptied her stomach of its meager contents.

Rhett set aside the tray with a chuckle. Scarlett rewarded him with a fierce glare as he hurried to her side. "I'm glad you find this so amusing. I probably am dieing you skunk, and all you can do is laugh at me." She wiped at her mouth with the back of her hand sinking to the bare floor.

But Rhett grinned as he knelt and gently wiped her face with a handkerchief, "My darling Scarlett, surely you realize that you aren't dieing, my pet."

She stared at him blankly, uncomprehending of his implied meaning. "What are you talking about? I just ate something that didn't set well with me…"

He smirked at her, "Are you still such a child, Scarlett? I think we should head back to Atlanta soon to have you check out by Dr. Meade." He added with a note of finality.

"What are you going on about, Rhett? I don't need to see Dr. Meade." She rationalized.

"Scarlett, have you possibly considered that you are with child?" Rhett finally said in tone laced with desperation and amusement that it was taking so long for her to catch on.

"You think I'm going to have a baby?" Her pale cheeks blushed crimson. "Why Rhett this just isn't a proper thing to talk about."

At this, a loud laugh roared from his mouth, "My child, I do believe I had a part in this."

"Don't be such a cad Rhett." They sat in silence for a moment as she pondered his observations. "You might be right…" she said slowly not really wanting to concede that it was possible that he could be correct in his observation.

"With all of the injuries that you sustained in your fall down the stairs, I don't think that it's a good idea for us to stay here too long. I am certain that Dr. Meade will want to keep a close eye on you." Rhett leaned over and brushed a stand of hair from her pale face.

She stared at him with a look of incredulous amazement at his observation and the gentleness that he continued to show her. She struggled to rise from the heap she had sunk to after retching violently. But Rhett refused to allow her to struggle alone and so he stood before reaching down and carefully scooping her up into his arms.

She didn't fight him on that. In fact, she relaxed in his arms. "Sometimes you are so nice," she sighed.

"Oh, I can be very nice," he chuckled. He lay set her down on the bed, and turned towards the door and retrieved the tray that he had set there. He handed her a sweet roll. "This probably will go down easier than just about anything else."

She stared at for a moment before deciding that it wouldn't make her feel worse. So she gratefully took the roll from him and nibbled on it while Rhett helped himself to some of the other items on the tray. "You know, I think that we should head home today, tomorrow at the very latest." Scarlett paused in her nibbling, "Rhett do you really think we need to get back to Atlanta so soon?"

"Yes, Scarlett, in fact I do." He looked at her with steel in his eyes, there was on trace of a question in his voice. He was dead set on getting his way. "I really would like to have Dr. Meade watch over you. You have been through so much. And Scarlett, I don't want to risk losing this baby."

Scarlett's eyes lost some of their glimmer. "You think I might lose this baby?" She asked the question with fear, but she was also thinking that Rhett was more focused on having a child—his own child -- to replace Bonnie than for Scarlett's own health.

"Scarlett, I just want to be very cautious with both of you." Rhett eyes held something that Scarlett wasn't quite certain of. For a moment she wondered if it weren't fear that she saw there. But surely it wasn't that. Rhett was not afraid of anything ever.

"Rhett, I'm fine." She told him.

"Scarlett, I can't risk it. I can't lose you." He told her.

She looked at him hesitantly. "You can't lose me?"

"Don't you realize how much I love you Scarlett? Haven't you realized that you stole my heart years ago, in fact I loved you the first time that I saw you. You were so full of life and you were so …you. Honestly Scarlett, I love you more than any man should ever love a woman. I love you as much as Ashley loved Melanie. And look what losing her did to him. He nearly lost himself when he lost her. So yes I can't lose you, and that's why we need to head back to Atlanta, so that I can know that you are going to be taken care of." She reached out her hand as he turned from her hiding the pain in his eyes – pain caused just by the thought of losing her.

"I can't lose you either, Rhett. I don't know what I would do if I ever lost you." She pulled his free hand to her cheek and rubbed it against her smooth cheek.

"Scarlett I was so terrified when you had the miscarriage. I was sure that you were dead, and I had been the one to kill you. I nearly went insane. And maybe I did go insane when we lost Bonnie. Maybe I'm only now returning to my sanity. But I love you Scarlett, and I can't stand the thought of losing you… ever." Trails of tears cut a shiny path against the harsh lines of his face. He tried to compose himself to shake off the fear and terror that was plaguing him.

Her arms reached forward and encircled his waist. "Rhett, please hold me." He turned and tightly pulled his arms around her. "I'm going to keep you safe, Scarlett. I'm not going to lose you," he whispered as he kissed her temple and held his face within her intoxicating ebony tresses.

* * *

Suellen leaned against the wall beside the out house. She wasn't feeling well, but no had seemed to notice, she thought with a frown. She wasn't Carreen and she wasn't Scarlett, so why would anyone notice. She gathered her composure to return to the kitchen.

Once inside her domain she fumbled inside one of the cabinets for a bottle that she had purchased in the mail. They said that the arsenic would make her paler. And if she was going to catch Ashley Wilkes attention, she had to look like a lady instead of a farm wife or a field hand. She carelessly chased the small white pill with a little bourbon. Ashley would notice her instead of Scarlett. And she would have won.

She reached back inside the cabinet for the laudanum that she had hidden there. It was the only thing that was making the pain bearable. She hadn't felt well in several weeks. Her stomach was not cooperating, but at very least she was eating less and so she should be getting thinner. At least there was some consolation to the way she was feeling. She took her dose and hid it back into the depths of the cabinet. No one would find it there.

* * *

Will sighed sadly as he watched her from the doorway. He didn't let her know that he was there. He just wished that she would remember that she was not only disgracing herself , but he and their children as well. Even if they all said that he was Cracker, he knew that he didn't deserve the way she was acting. No one deserved that, not even her.

* * *

Ashley's hands trembled as he read the telegram. The money was still there. In fact there was more money than the numbers told. Ashley smiled broadly as the realization that he no longer had to live week to week and day to day. He could be a gentleman again. He and Beau didn't have to go back North and live among Yankees. Beau was provided for, and Twelve Oaks could be restored. Now if only Mellie could have seen them. If only she could be there. But Ashely smiled for he knew that she was smiling down on him today from Heaven. And he could imagine with clarity the rapturous look on her face. "O, Mellie, I miss you. I will miss you until the day I die. No one will ever take your place."


	42. Where Home is

Thanks for the reviews everyone! they mean so much!

Chapter 42

"I don't want to tell the children, not yet, I don't want to worry them." Scarlett drowsily told Rhett as she leaned comfortably against him. He grinned as her hair brushed softly across his nose, tickling him.

"I think that you are right, my pet." He placed a gentle kiss on the back of her head even as he felt her go limp within the circle of his arms. "God, I love you, Scarlett."

She murmured something indistinguishable in her sleep, it very well could have been , I love you too Rhett, but it also could have been Pink elephants are dancing on Tara's roof for all of the incomprehensible sounds she had made. He smiled as he relished the slight weight of her in his arms; there was something in the feeling of her that made him want to stay like that forever. He wanted to keep her safe from everything, but the one thing he hadn't been able to keep her safe from was his own desires. And he knew that everything was on the line now. Nothing was safe.

oOoOoOoOoOo

Ashley smiled as he watched his son sleeping peacefully. He had enjoyed teaching, but he knew that Beau had felt terribly isolated without his constant companions Wade and Ella. Beau was much more relaxed and himself even while they were staying in one of the temporarily repaired slave cabins. Until he was able to start working on restoring his childhood home they had needed a place to stay.

Wade had joined them as they surveyed the changes to be made in the house. Wade and Beau eagerly worked together to clear debris and vegetation from the crumbling ruin. They were both hard workers, but Wade's strength and maturity made him a welcomed addition to the group.

In the process of clearing debris, they had uncovered multiple small incidental items that Ashley now could treasure – his father's favorite quill had been uncovered where the desk had stood. Even one of Honey and India's favorite cubby holes had been neglected. And now Ashley sat fingering the small necklace that he had found inside. The thin gold chain slipped over his fingers loosely as a raindrop skims the flower petal before dropping to the ground below.

Sherman's soldiers had been in such a great haste to make a careful sweep of the house, and so small trinkets and keepsakes had been left behind. The stone walls had prevented the fire from completely consuming the house. It was little more than a shell, but it was something to work from.

Ashley couldn't help but travel back into the past as he stared at the few recognizable points. He could envision his childhood and his courtship with Melanie with startling clarity. He could see her childish face, a part of his life from his earliest memories. She was still here within these walls. It was not the same trace of her that had remained in their home in Atlanta. Within theses charred walls, Ashley could hear her voice from before the war. He could still hear her soft laughter from when India, Honey, and Melanie had played on the marble floors. He could hear his mother's gentle reprimand on the three small girls. And most of all, Ashley could hear his own declaration of love to her. And he could still see her face flushed with excitement and contentedness. Melanie's love was still here without any of the sadness or death or deprivation. This house still contained the memory of the girl he had fallen in love with.

As he mentally made plans for the restoration, he walked into the library. Once inside, he remembered with a half smile how Scarlett had thrown herself at him. Even then he had known that he had not a portion of the life inside of him that she exuded. She hadn't understood it then— or for years after, but she would never have been happy with him, they were too different. Rhett was who she belonged with.

It was odd that now after all of these tears that Suellen Benteen should start acting like the child that Scarlett had been before the war. But there was something missing in her charade, not to mention the fact that she was a married woman with a passel of children. She lacked the finesses and charm that Scarlett had so easily worked to suit her needs. And there was a cloying desperation that clung to her, that screamed at Ashley. She was making a fool of himself, and he knew that another encounter with an O'Hara girl would not be beneficial to his reputation. He vowed to himself that he would avoid Suellen. He wouldn't aid in the destruction or at very least near destruction of another family.

He accepted the damage he had done to Scarlett and Rhett marriage more than they would ever know. If he had been a greater gentleman, if he had been more immune to Scarlett's charms, but he hadn't been immune or a gentleman. But he had at times strung her along. And she had been such a silly child, a gullible innocent child that believed him for what he told her and she had believed his kisses. And it was in the times that no one knew about that he shouldered the burden for. It was the moments in the library, the moment before his furlough ended, and in that insane time before Scarlett went to get the money to pay the taxes. Sometimes he felt as if the weight of the world rested on him. But not this time, not again. He would not be the guilty party.

oOoOoOoOoOoOoOo

Will silently slipped into the kitchen while Suellen was occupied with the baby. He stealthily opened the cabinet where he knew she hid her medicine. He carefully opened each bottle and dumped the contents into his pocket, where he could remember to dispose of them later. He carefully slipped a pill similar in size and shape into the now empty bottles to allow Suellen the peace of mind of taking the pills.

Will understood that it was his right as her husband to forbid her from her current activities. But he also realized that to do so would only cause Suellen to become more stubborn and unyielding. It was of no use for him to confront her. And so he resorted to the only option that seemed available to him.

He was worried for her. He had heard of people becoming addicted to morphine during the war and since the Laudanum was derived from the same plant, it did not seem much of a stretch that it was addictive as well.

So he replaced the bottles in the cabinet and slipped out the backdoor, never letting Suellen know that he had even been in the house.

oOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo

"Mother, Mother, Mother!" Ella chattered noisily in the seat across from Scarlett. She bounced in the seat in her mint green dress that fluffed about her. "O, I had the most wonderful time with cousin Beau! Oh, mother I missed him so! Mother, when I grow up I shall marry him. I shall love him for ever and ever." Her eyed sparkled as Scarlett and Rhett grimaced at each other, which went unnoticed by the giddy child.

Rhett chuckled softly as he muttered under his breath, "Imagine an O'Hara in love with a Wilkes."

Scarlett glared at him for a moment before turning her attention back to her daughter. "Ella you will not be getting married for an awfully long time. Don't you think that you are much too young to be deciding on which beau you'll marry."

Ella giggled, "Well he is my "Beau"! But mother, I couldn't love another boy more than I love him. Why I simply cannot imagine marrying another!"

Rhett smiled placating at her, "When you are older, if you both fill the same, there is no reason that something couldn't happen, but you must wait until you are at least 14 to start receiving beaux, and then I shall meet them with my pistol to see if they are still interested and to be certain that they remember to always act like a gentleman in your presence."

Ella giggled at Rhett while Wade stared out the window ignoring his family. "Ella would you hush!" he demanded. "You are giving me a headache, and I would imagine that you aren't making mother feel any better."

Scarlett glanced quickly at Wade. It was truly impossible to keep much from the observant young man. "I'm fine, Wade. You shouldn't speak to your sister like that."

"Mother, you are not either. You stayed in bed most of yesterday, and you missed the ball after Aunt Carreen's wedding. And you wouldn't have missed that unless you were ill. I'm not a child." Wade tipped his chin defiantly and resumed his impenetrable stare of the window.

Ella nervously glanced at her mother, who was looking pale and lacked her usual vibrance. "Are you ill, mother?"

"No, I'm fine. I just was a silly girl and forgot to eat all day, and it made me feel rather weak." Scarlett smiled at the worried child reassuringly. "Don't worry about me. I didn't listen to Uncle Rhett, and he made me stay in bed to make sure that I ate and didn't get light headed again." Scarlett's smile was warm and soothing to the nervous child.

"Well, Mother, you should listen to Uncle Rhett. That is always what you tell me to do." Ella smiled innocently as Wade snorted beside her. Rhett looked up at him for a moment, but then returned his attention to Ella and Scarlett.

"You are very right, your mother should listen to me. I try to keep her from being silly, but your mother is a silly girl sometimes like you are a silly girl." Rhett grinned at Ella even as she was distracted by the doll she was holding in her lap.

"Rhett," Scarlett whispered. "You cannot treat me like I'm made of porcelain. You already have Wade worrying, and he has been through enough."

Rhett's hand gently brushed across Scarlett's pale cheek. "I can't promise to not treat you very carefully, Scarlett. You mean too much to me. You mean the world to me." His voice was whisper soft as he spoke the words.

Scarlett leaned her head on his shoulder and closed her eyes. "I want to spend the rest of my life with you Rhett. I've never loved anyone like you."

"You mean you have never loved a Scalawag Speculator Blackguard before, my pet?" A deep chuckled rumbled in his chest and the laughter caused his eyes to sparkle.

"Oh, don't be a skunk Rhett. You know what I mean." Color rushed to her cheeks as she spoke.

Rhett smirked wickedly. "O, yes I do. However I enjoy making you squirm."

Her eyes narrowed at him for a moment and she swatted him playfully. "You are such a cad, Rhett Butler."

He again chuckled at this. "That I am, I never claimed to be anything but." He glanced at her. "Are you ready to be home?"

"I shall be ever so glad to be home. I'm simply too tired. However, I am so glad that Brent and Carreen are off on their honeymoon. I gave up on her years ago, and it's just wonderful to see that she is happy and not a Nun." She said the last word as if it tasted poorly.

Rhett continued chuckling at her. "You never cease to amuse me, my pet."

Scarlett smiled and stared out the window, watching as the outskirts of Atlanta came into view and blurred by the train as it hurried to the station. She did love Tara, she always would love Tara. But home was wherever Rhett was. And she was content to be at his side, there was no where safer in the world.


	43. It is Indeed

Chapter 43

The blistering heat rolled in waves off of the growing green cotton plants. Even early as it was in the day, the heat was almost unbearable. Only a slight breeze offered any relief from the heat. Suellen sagged wearily against the door to the outhouse. The medicine didn't seem to be working today. It had been, and then all of a sudden it did next to nothing. She wiped her face with an apron, trying to remove the foul taste from her mouth.

She stumbled wearily towards the house. Her ankles ached as she walked. But she needed to make herself presentable, at least she needed to change aprons and smooth her messy hair. India would be over soon, and now that the wedding was over, life was returning to normal at the plantation. Suellen brushed her hand over her forehead wiping away the hair that was clinging to her damp skin in the morning heat. She grew faint at the thought of all of the chores that were still yet to be done. But she pushed through the haze and shuffled into the kitchen where the heat from the bread baking in the ovens was even more intense.

She scanned the room to see if anyone would notice her, and she hurried to the cabinet where her relief was hidden. Her hand snaked inside of the cabinet and extracted two bottles. She stole twice as many pills from the bottle as usual. She gulped a swig of brandy to wash them down and then replaced the bottles in their hidden location before finding her way up the stairs to clean up her appearance.

OoOoOoOoOoOoOo

Light poured in through the bedroom window and fell across the bed where Scarlett nodded as she listened to the careful words of Dr. Meade. "Scarlett, you are going to need to be very careful. You were seriously injured when you fell down the stairs, and it will very difficult for you to carry this child to term. When I tell you that you are confined to your home, I expect you to be bedridden."

Scarlett's eyes grew wide, "but..."

Rhett immediately cut her off. "Of course that will not be a problem. I will see to it that she is very careful."

"Well, Captain Butler, I hope that you can do as you say that you can." Dr. Meade's eyes spoke volumes. This was an ill advised pregnancy, sadly reminiscent of Melanie Wilkes which had resulted in her untimely death,

Rhett smiled assuringly. "I won't let anything happen to her."

Scarlett glanced from one face to the other, seeing the gravity of the situation mirrored in the two men's faces. "God's nightgown, I'm much stronger than either of you give me credit for. I'm no shrinking violet." Scarlett's chin tiled in defiance as she narrowed her eyes. "And I won't have you talking about me like I am not in the room."

Dr. Meade quietly excused himself leaving Rhett and Scarlett to hash out their differences. Rhett's eyes followed the doctor as he left and then focused on the closed door. "You aren't going to win this argument." His voice was flat and emotionless.

"I'm not some silly little ninny." Scarlett voice grew shrill as her passion overtook her. "I'm not going to do something to harm my child, you can't keep me stuck in some bed. I can't live like that. You should know better than that." Her angry eyes pleaded with him to understand, but Rhett did not want to understand.

"You little fool. You do realize that you almost died when you fell. And until recently, when you were having your monthly flux you were in such pain that you were an invalid. I'm not going to let you kill yourself, not if I have to tie you to that bed." His eyes were dark with fear and passion as he turned and stormed out the bedroom door.

Scarlett sat quietly starring after him trying to contain her fury, then desperate for some action and release of the building anger, she grabbed a pillow from the bed and threw it with all of her might so that it hit the door. "Rhett Butler, I hate you, I hate you! You are a skunk…" But he was already down stairs and could not hear her angry replies.

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o

India Wilkes stood staring at the ruin that had once been her lovely home. She had avoided coming to see it until now. She had wanted to remember Twelve Oaks as it had been instead of what she had been told that it had become. She wanted to remember it as in the golden haze of memories of life from before the war, from the days when she was still a Belle. But now here she stood, a lonely spinster, tears slowly slipping down her face. As with the entire civilization of her childhood, her dreams had died.

Her dreams had died with Stuart as he fell on the far off Pennsylvania battlefield. She had loved him. She had loved him mush more deeply than few ever knew or realized, but she had accepted his defection quietly and without a fuss.

Scarlett had taken him from her and she could not forgive Scarlett for that. It was unforgivable. The reality of Stuart's defection was impossible for her to recognize. She could not admit that Scarlett was more charming, or that Stuart was guilty of any wrongdoing. India was loyal to him still, a decade after his death. A part of her that she could not acknowledge that she was resentful that Brent was alive, but her Stuart was still dead. It wasn't that she begrudged him life, but she wanted Stuart and she knew that Brent had never approved of her calm and cool predictable ways. Brent had never like India much. But Stuart had loved her. And because of the time he spent chasing Scarlett, they hadn't had the chance to be married.

India still was rankled that Scarlett had stolen his love from India, and then she tossed it away as she claimed Charles for her own. Scarlett had seemingly at one time or another stolen nearly every girl's beau in the county. Melanie was the lucky one to have Ashley so devoted even though Scarlett had chased him with total disregard to anything else.

Scarlett had become the scapegoat for every loss that India had faced in her 33 years. The blame for every injustice she had endured was laid at Scarlett's feet. There were times when she saw that her feelings were irrational. But the anger was all that she had left to hold on it. And so she had clung viciously to it like starving dog to a bone.

There were instances that India knew that Scarlett was not as guilty as she had seemed. She could admit to herself alone that the embrace at the mill had completely lacked passion. It was not a lover's embrace. But her anger and hatred of Scarlett prevented her from seeing anything else at the time. And in doing so, she had alienated her brother and her sister in law. She had isolated herself from the closest family that she had left, especially with Honey living in Macon. Only at Melanie's death bed had she been forgiven.

But now she looked at the rubble. She looked, and she stared, and she mourned at the remains of the symbol of her childhood. But now it was no longer without hope. They were no longer destitute. And she would be provided for. She no longer must depend on the charity of others, even if they were family. She would be the mistress of Twelve Oaks once more.

She felt a hand upon her shoulder and she turned to find Ashley offering her his handkerchief. It was almost too much for one person to bear. It was too much to take in. The dam of tears that had been held in for a decade was unleashed. And Ashley held his sister in his arms and brushed his hand over her hair and consoled her. And slowly as the tears washed away the pain and devastation, her heart slowly began to thaw. And India stopped being bitter. For the bitterness had been destroying her, India was able to look up with swollen, red, puffy eyes and see that life was not over yet. She sighed a shuddering sigh and wiped away the tears and stood ready to face life once more.

oOoOoOoOo

Scarlett rearranged her skirts as she sat on the back verandah sipping on a cool glass of lemonade. She stared off into nothingness until she heard Ella's approach.

"Mother, why was the doctor here?" Ella asked quickly.

"Uncle Rhett was worried that I was tired." Scarlett offered in reassurance.

"Well if you are tired, you should take a nap. That's what you always tell me 'Ella Lorena, you are being cranky. Go lay down' " Ella accompanied the mocking words of Scarlett with narrowed eyes and a wagging pointed finger.

Scarlett laughed, "Do I really look that horrible?"

Ella smiled, "No mother, you are always beautiful."

Scarlett reached out her hand and tugged at one Auburn curl. It was soft and silky against her fingers. Ella watched her mother intently, even after the past year, at times the affection Scarlett gave her seemed out of place.

"Ella, you do know I love you, don't you?" There was an unusual hesitancy in Scarlett's voice. But Ella quickly assured her that she did indeed know.

"But am I good mother?" Scarlett seemed determined to know.

Ella's chin fell and she looked up at her mother through her dark eyelashes. "You are a good mother, and you are the prettiest mother of any of my friends. Everyone says so."

She was rewarded with a beaming smile from Scarlett which was followed by a hug and quick kiss on the cheek. "Run along darling. I'm sure that your babies need you."

Ella nodded. "Mammy Missy is taking care of them right now. I'm going to parties and looking beautiful."

Ella didn't notice Scarlett's frown at the last statement, but it was quite easy to see what Ella's impression of motherhood had been from Scarlett's example. And Scarlett vowed to be a better mother.

oOoOoOoOo

Rhett carefully opened the door to Scarlett's bedroom and glanced inside to find her already in bed. "Am I actually welcome in your sanctuary?" His sardonic grin charmed Scarlett as she narrowed her eyes at him.

"I suppose that you can come in." She returned her perusal of the magazine in her lap ignoring him.

"Scarlett, you need to listen to me. I only want to keep you safe, and if that means that you are unhappy with me, so be it." Rhett's piercing gaze caused Scarlett to lift her gaze to meet his.

"In case you weren't aware, I want this child, and I don't intend on doing anything foolish. But I don't want to talk about it anymore, I will think about it later." She started to resume her reading, but Rhett quickly strode across the room and pulled it from her hands even as she tried to pull it back.

"We are discussing it now. I know how much you like to play your little game of avoidance, but this isn't something for you to avoid until it's convenient to you. This could mean life or death for you and the baby. Don't be a fool Scarlett."

At this Scarlett crossed her arms and glared at him. "Are you not listening? I said that I was not going to act foolish. I'm going to be very careful. I don't want to lose another child." As she spoke she began sobbing uncontrollably.

Rhett went to her and gathered her in his arms, allowing the anger of the moment to be gone. Upsetting her would not improve the situation. And so he simply sat and rocked her in his arms crooning softly the song that they had sung that long ago day in Pittypat's parlor.

Just a few more days for to tote the weary load!No matter, 'twill never be light!Just a few more days, till we totter in the road!

Then, my old Kentucky home, good night

Her sobs had subsided as she fell asleep in the shelter of his arms. He gently laid her back onto the bed and kissed her softly. "Goodnight, love, good night."


	44. Into Thin Air

Thanks for the reviews! Hope everyone likes this chapter. It kinda came to me today, so I hope that you enjoy it!

Chapter 44

_The air was soft and warm and heavily ladden with the scent of honeysuckles and wisteria that clung to the stone of the mansion. The scent and feel of an summer's day surrounded Scarlett as she sat watching while the children played in the yard. There were childish giggles and squeals that filled the air with the joy and innocence of childhood. The air wrapped around them like a comfortingly warm blanket in the middle of winter. Ella ran from Wade, her curls bouncing invitingly as Bonnie followed on chubby little legs, her blue eyes flashing brilliantly. Scarlett smiled as she watched them. It was a scene reminiscent from her childhood. It was evidence that the South had survived._

_Melanie sat beside her watching Beau and Scarlett's children play. It seemed to bring her peace to watch the children. Scarlett was being careful. She had only just returned from Tara after the fall. It was the only sane way that she could think of it. It had been a fall. She couldn't even bear to think of it as an accident. And her mind would not allow her to dwell on the remainder of what had occurred._

_Melanie was speaking, but it was muffled as if it passed through some sort of barrier the prevented the meaning from reaching Scarlett. So she simply closed her eyes and listened to the distant sounds of the children playing. The faint echoes of life were making their way to her ears._

_Beside her an infant stirred. It made no sense that an infant would be near, but then the child was without warning in her arms. It was soft and pink--cooing softly. The weight of the child was soothing and comforting in her arms. Then the child was gone like a vapor of smoke. Scarlett did not speak. No words would come, even though she tried to call out. She was mute and powerless. _

_Then the sounds of everything became more muffled and the heat pressed down heavily on her like a millstone around her neck. And she struggled to open her heavy eyes. She turned to look at Melanie, but as she watched Melanie seemed to flicker like a candle and disappear into thin air despite Scarlett's loud protests. "No, Melly, we still need you! Melly, don't go!" she cried._

_And on shaking legs she rose and her hands waved in the air where Melanie had just been even as she continued to voice her pleas. But her hands only met empty air, and her voice only echoed in her mind. And so Scarlett, utterly confused, turned her attention to where the children were playing. Bonnie's small body had stopped as if frozen in time and space. The other children continued to run and play, unaware of Bonnie's absence. It seemed at times as if they were running through Bonnie, as if she were made of nothing other than memory and air, as insubstantial as the breeze. She was staring at her mother, reaching for her. In a strange echoing voice, Scarlett faintly heard her saying, "Mother, where are you. I want my mother. I want my mother." And so, on still unsteady legs, Scarlett pushed herself forward into an awkward and graceless race to rescue her child. But the moment she arrived at the place where Bonnie had stopped; Bonnie vanished into the air only leaving the lingering scent of the candies she constantly received from her father, and the faintest hint of the smell of tobacco and whiskey—the scent of Rhett._

_Tears stung her eyes as she cried, "Bonnie! Bonnie! Bonnie! Mommy is here! Where are you? Oh, Bonnie, where are you? Where's my baby? O Bonnie!" Her hands fumbled as she beat against the thin air where she had vanished, as she turned and twisted trying to catch site of Bonnie. "Melly!" she screamed. "Melly! Where are you! Melly, where is Bonnie!" And finally out of desperation and a fear unlike any she had known since that day on the curve in the road above Shantytown or the days at Tara after the war, she screamed, "Help! Help! Help!" her voice raw with emotion. A cold wind blew through the yard stealing the warmth and the scents of summer from her. Autumn replaced the summer, and the autumn was replaced by the cold hard winter._

_She screamed until it caught in her throat. She fought as something held her back. "No!" she cried. "I've got to find Bonnie. I need Melly. Please help me. Please.." _she begged as the hysteria wore at her.

She felt herself being shaken. "Scarlett…. Scarlett." The voice seemed to be coming from far away, as if it had traveled a million miles to find her. Her eyes closed against the fear and pain, but the voice continued calling, "Scarlett, Scarlett, please, Scarlett."

And so finally desperate to see anything other than the imagine burned into her mind of Bonnie and Melanie and the baby vanishing and leaving her, she slowly opened her eyes which felt as if some one was rubbing sand paper against them. At that moment she realized that the voice calling to her had been Rhett's, and it was Rhett's arms that held her now.

His large hands were gently wiping away the tears that were pouring from her eyes. Her breath came in gasps as she grieved anew for her favorite child and for the only person who had truly loved her as a friend and for the child she had never held. Time and maturity and grief had changed Scarlett in ways that could not be undone. Rhett simply held her and brushed the hair from her face and spoke soft consoling words that were meant only to soothe and calm.

Slowly the terror of losing them again began to subside as she sniffled, fighting to end her crying jag. "Rhett…" her voice sounded weak and plaintive to even her own ears.

"Hush, Scarlett. It was a nightmare. I've got you, and I'm going to keep you safe." It was the same voice that he had once used to calm Bonnie's nightmares and even at times early in their marriage to soothe Scarlett's reoccurring nightmare of the fog. But it didn't matter now that she wasn't a child or even the naive girl she had been; it was all irrelevant. Scarlett desperately needed his comfort. She was desperate for his arms to be around, protecting her.

"I…" she said in a trembling voice. "I don't want to lose another child…and Rhett I understand.. And I am terrified." Another unbidden sob escaped as she tried to pull her hand over her mouth to silence it.

"O, Scarlett. I know you love this baby." He held her tightly for a moment close to his chest so that she could listen to the steady beating of his heart before allowing his arms to loosen their grip upon her. And slowly she grew quiet as the nightmare faded, so that its power was diminished. There was no twinkle in his eyes in the darkness of the room as he held her. He had only been trying to impress upon her the gravity of her condition to a point that she would avoid further strain on herself, unlike what she had done when she was pregnant with both Ella and Bonnie. But he realized that both he and Dr. Meade had gone to far in their warning, and the result was the shaking, sobbing, terror filled, child in his arms.

Her tear stained nightgown clung to her skin, and the moisture clung to Rhett's bare chest as he watched her as breathed deeply and evenly. It had also been a mistake for him to leave her for a night cap. It seemed that his presence alone was the sole source of relief from her nightmares. And this was one night that she needed his arms and his security. Even the strongest sometimes need someone else to be strong for them.

O0o0o0o0o0o0o0o

Scarlett slowly opened her eyes the next morning, only the faintest recollection of the dream that had attacked her the night before. For moment it felt as if it were only a dream, that the losses were not real. But then slowly reality came into focus, and she remembered the cold harsh reality of their losses. And the emotions of the dream clung to her as small child clings to their mothers skirts, and she looked at Rhett warily even though he still slumbered.

There was something disquieting about having your emotions laid out before you and everyone else, and also there was a terrifying vulnerablilty in needing someone else to rescue you from memories and guilt. It was something to be so completely vulnerable to someone who in their own time had crushed her spirit as well. And Scarlett hated to be vulnerable. She had always loathed the moments when she needed someone, anyone to be there for her other than to support her own vainty.

She sat up carefully and threw her legs over the edge of the bed to make her now ritual morning visit to the chamber pot on the bureau. She walked across the floor quickly fighting the nausea until she had emptied her stomach. She was wiping her hand across her mouth when she felt his hand on her arm. She turned to him cautiously, ashamed of the terrors that had plagued her the night before..

But his eyes were soft, there was no condemnation or cynicism in them. Worse there was compassion and pity. "I'm sorry." He drawled softly. "I was wrong to handle things the way that I did."

Her eyes, bright with unshed tears, stared up at him startled by his admission. In her limited intimate encounters with men, she thought that he was one of those men that didn't think know how to admit that they were wrong. But here he was admitting it and apologizing for it. It left her speechless.

"Scarlett, I think that I scared you with how worried I was for you and the baby. That was not my intention, and I regret it. Not that my intention was wrong." For a moment his familiar confident smile appeared, as the sun appears on a cloudy and drives away the rain, so his smile drove away the pain.

"You're impossible." she chided flippantly. Still the memory of the nightmare clung to her, although the heart wrenching terror seemed to have dissipated rapidly in his presence.

He was not fooled by her bravery or her strength. "Scarlett..." His voice was soft when he spoke her name. There was gentleness now to the way he spoke her, a tenderness that had not been present in the early days of their marriage.

Her eyes looked down afraid to share the pain, afraid that opening the wound would mean that it overtook her, or worse that it would hurt him.

"Scarlett, I know it was about Bonnie. And it was about Melanie." he told her.

"And it was about the baby, our baby. The baby we lost. I'm terrified of losing this one." Scarlett admitted hesitantly.

"Neither of had the chance to comfort each other over losing Bonnie, or the baby, or even the loss of Mrs. Wilkes. Sadly, we allowed our pride to lock us in to a pattern of selfishness and anger, and that won't happen again. And worst of all we were each in so much pain that all we could do was to lash out at the other. We both have said horrible things, horrible and hateful things to each other in our grief. We almost destroyed each other."

Scarlett nodded unsure of what to say, so she simply stared at him willing for him to speak again.

"I shouldn't have left you when I did. I shouldn't have done many things the way that I did. But it can all be behind us now. Scarlett, we have each other and Wade and Ella and this child. We have a chance to start over. Do you understand how rare that is? And we are going to get you through this pregnancy. You and the baby are going to be fine. I told you after Bonnie was born that I didn't care how many children you had, and that still is true. But the most important thing is that I need you here beside me." His hand softly brushed her cheek where a single tear had found its solitary path.

He opened his arms to her and she found her way into them. And he gently held her as the went to the window and stared out at the bright morning that had just dawned. His hand casually slipped down so that it lay across her still flat stomach. It was a new beginning for them as well.


	45. Mourning song

Thanks everyone for your reviews. Hope you enjoy this chapter!

Chapter 45

A hot gust of wind tugged at the black sheer veil that trailed down her back causing it to twist wildly in the hot summer air. No one would look at her in contempt if she set aside the mourning attire, for the time for mourning for her lost child had already passed. But she clung to it momentarily for this grief was the first grief she had truly embraced in a lifetime full of mourning. She dressed as a widow, instead of the mother of child who had passed away. Some might have seen it as odd, but by now Atlanta society knew to expect the unusual from Scarlett Butler. She had thrown off her mourning for Charles much too quickly; she had accepted Rhett's marriage proposal the day of Frank's funeral. She had not had the time to grieve for her mother, nor the opportunity to grieve for her father. The black seemed to add years to her face, but Rhett would not complain for at the moment his soul also felt black, and the dark clothes were in keeping with the feelings of his heart. But her mourning for Bonnie and Melanie pierced her very soul.

The wind churned the soft red dirt that gathered against the base of the cold granite stone along with the flowers that had just been placed there. The dirt blew up into her face, stinging her eyes. But she continued to kneel, her head bowed, the dirt pressing into her clothes. A slow stream of tears fell to the dry ground as her hand shakily rose and traced the letters on the stone. The stone was still cool against her hand despite the rising sun, although soon it too would soak up the heat of a Georgia's summer day. Each letter was firmly etched into the stone, and part of Scarlett longed to scratch the letters away, as if removing the name would reverse the moment that had taken her child from her.

Her hand ran over the dates with too few moments between, she felt a chill go down her spine. She jerked her hand from the stone, and doubled over uncomfortably for the corset had the power to cut her asunder. Her breathing came in weak gasps as the pain that had at first only been numb shock had slowly finally risen to the surface. It tore at her in a way no physical pain can tear.

A gentle hand fell onto her shaking shoulder. A strong arm surrounded her as she allowed the tears to freely fall. Her thin frame shook as Rhett pulled her into a silent embrace. She felt rather than saw the tears as they fell onto her shoulder that escaped from his eyes. He too had not found a way to forget Bonnie. He had grieved as Bonnie lay in the room beside him, while Scarlett had bottled up the hurt and anger with the promise of tomorrow waiting to shoulder the burden.

Totally spent of the grief, she shrugged off his embrace and rose wearily to her feet, he paused monetarily to stare at the crude etched likeness of the child that resided on the stone, but then he too rose beside her, his tall frame towering over her. And he looked at her with tears welling in his eyes. Scarlett gently reached forward and brushed a tear away. He grabbed her hand savagely and pressed it to his lips, as if she was at the moment, the only thing left in this world to cling to.

No words were needed. There was forgiveness enough for both of their mistakes and harsh words. And the pain and anger was in the past. And now they stood silently bearing the loss of their child together.

Scarlett started to speak, her lips parted, trying to form the words, but Rhett laid a finger on her lips, his eyes begging that no words would be said. And so still shrouded in a deathlike silence they turned and trudged across the green grass of the cemetery in the July morning light, thinking of the child who had been gone for a year. It seemed as if she had only been gone for but a moment, but it also seemed that she had left them a lifetime ago.

O0o0o0o0o0o0o0o

India Wilkes sat quietly rocking in the shade of the Oaks that over shadowed Tara listening to the sound of the crickets as they began their nightly serenade. The cape Jessamine filled the air with the its scent, as faint whiffs of the wisteria covering the whitewashed walls made its way to her nose. She sat silently watching the sunset as she sipped a cool lemonade waiting for Suellen to join her, allowing the cool tart sweetness to trickle down her thoat remembering with sadness the days of long ago.

Suellen was in no hurry to do anything. Finally her stomach had ceased its violent protests. Perhaps the pills were working after all. She smoothed her frazzled tresses as she stepped out onto the porch. The cool breeze felt lovely after the stifling heat of the house. She wearily sagged into the chair beside her house guest longing to tug as the stays that seemed to dig into her abdomen worse than she ever remembered.

India looked at her appraisingly, "You are with child aren't you!" India exclaimed rather bluntly, the war and deprivation had worn away the gentle words that she had been taught from childhood. In it's place, was a cold hard woman, bitter with the suffering that she had endured.

Both blushed momentarily at her brash words and observations, but soon the reality of it all hit Suellen dully. It was as if a thousand tiny cannons had resumed the incessant thundering that had prevailed in the days before mother died during those terrifying last days of the war. "God's nightgown India!" she exclaimed. But inwardly she was seething because she was certain that India's observation was correct. And it was not the circumstance that she was looking forward to facing. That explained the way she had been feeling, it wasn't a flu or sickness. At least it was not a sickness that one could catch.

India's gray eyes looked coolly into Suellen's own brown ones. "You are a fool, if you didn't see it for yourself."

Suellen's eyes snapped with anger. "India Wilkes, I would prefer that you treat me with respect. You are a guest in my home."

"I'll leave as soon as Ashley gets work done on the house that he is building for us. My brother needs me." India said hotly. She and Suellen despite the five years difference in age had always been of similar character and temperment. And India alone was the one person that seemed to understand Suellen. As children, India had coddled and babied Suellen and Carreen in whatever ladylike game they chose to play while Scarlett was off playing with the county boys or the slave children.

"I don't want another child! I told Will that!" exclaimed Suellen. "I want life like it was before the war!" Her eyes narrowed and her lips settled into a stuboorn pout.

"Well it doesn't do anyone any good for you to fuss about it. What is done is done. The war was fought and lost, and its over and we have no choice but to endure the consequences." India continued to quietly rock and stare at the horizon deep in thought.

"Well it doesn't mean I have to like it!" she pouted.

"And I feel I must warn you, Sue. You are making a fool of yourself, and if you aren't careful, you will make a fool of my brother. Don't try to throw yourself at him like your sister did. He isn't interested. He's till in love with Melanie." India's voice continued in the same cool manner in which she normally spoke. "And you are marrried. You can not forget that."

"I can't forget I'm married! I'm in a fix once again! You're the one who so conviently pointed it out to me. I want out of this life! I married a Cracker. You know I did. I was desperate, and I married beneath my station. You know it India. You do! I'm stuck in this nightmare that I can't seem to wake from! I hate this life! I hate it!" She screeched passionately as hot angry tears sprung to her eyes. She leaned back in the chair sobbing loudly as a child sobs when they aren't allowed to get their own way.

India continued quietly rocking, the constant rythym unbroken by the passionate conversation.

Unseen in the shadow of the door stood Will with a single tears shining on his cheek. He stood silently and then just as silently turned and slipped back inside the house.


	46. Cold as Death

Author's Note: I hope no one is disappointed by this chapter its been coming for quite a while. I hope you all enjoy it even if it isn't the happiest chapter. I did get a little teary eyed while writing it.

Chapter 46

The early morning light cast an unnatural glow in the silent kitchen. No one moved, no one made a sound. None of the normal routine was being observed today, no one had the heart to enter and disturb her resting place. Each who had briefly entered the room, upon witnessing the gruesome scene on the floor immediately turned and left in utter silence. Outside the birds continued to sing their songs while the sounds and smell of death permeated the white washed brick walls.

Will stood at the doorway staring morosely at the still figure lying on the floor. He would never know her last moments, her last thoughts. For her life had ended here, alone, in the kitchen in the home she was born and raised.in. It was the same home that she had borne her own children in. Will knew that the mess would need to be tended to, he knew that he could not leave her lying their in a pool of her own vomit. But the site of his wife of nearly a decade dead upon the floor made him stand as if frozen, unyielding and as unmovable as a brick wall.

Finally because there was nothing left to do he walked as a sleepwalker to his wife's side. She had been gone for several hours already; in the war he had seen enough death to be certain of that. Her skin was already cold to the touch and it had turned waxy and white. In her hand she clutched a small vial. He seized from her still limp hand the vial and sniffed of the contents. A faint smell of bitter almond alerted his senses. For a moment he crouched beside her, as he silently wondered if she had meant to take her life. The words he had heard her speaking to India a few days prior wrung at his heart. He didn't know how he could have changed things, but somehow he felt that he should have done something, anything to prevent the tragedy lying before him on the cold stone floor.

With tears in his eyes he threw the offending vial with all of the anger and hurt that was building inside of his. It shattered against the far wall, leaving a trail of sparkling, shimmering glass. His hand trembled as he reached forward to lay his hand across his wife's stomach to have the only connection he would ever have with this child that he would never know. His eyes briefly closed to fight against the tears that were gathering there.

He then pulled her limp body into his arms, holding her close for one last time as fresh tears poured out from a broken heart. His warm soft lips met her cold stiff ones in a final kiss to hold on to one last moment. He had loved her. He would have done anything for her, and now it was all over. And he was left with nothing but her cold body that he held tightly against him self. It was all over.

O0o0o0o0o0o0o0o

India Wilkes sat silently mourning as she waited on the spiraling stairs in Tara's main hall. Suellen was dead. And India felt as if it were she that was the guilty party. She had introduced Suellen to the very medicines that she was sure had been the cause of death. She owed Will an explanation, but somehow she knew that she needed to lie to cover Suellen's stupidity. She needed a lie to make it look like Suellen had not forsaken her marriage vows and died out vanity.

Will came into the hall to find India's head bowed in shame and sorrow. "She's gone." His voice was tired as if all of his life had drained from him as it drained from Suellen.

"I'm sorry." India whispered. "I'm so sorry."

"You didn't choose to give her that poison. I tried to stop her. I took her pills and got rid of them. But she musta have bought some more." Will shook his head in pain and regret.

"It's my fault." India's voice was as cool as her gray eyes. "She asked me to get her more. She said that the pills weren't working any longer." Will's face registered shock at this comment. "I'm so sorry."

He simply shook his head and walked away deeper into the house heading to the office. His life would never be the same.

0OoOoOoOoOoOo

Prissy clutched the telegram in her hands. The messenger seemed certain that the message contained bad news. And Prissy did not like to deliver bad news to her mistress. She made her way into the living room where Scarlett was reclining on the settee with a cool rag on her forehead. "Miss Scahlett…, I'se got a message for yah, It's from Mista Will at Tara." Scarlett rose slowly from the settee to gather the message from Prissy's trembling hands.

She tore the paper and quickly surveyed the contents. Her hand slowly rose to her mouth. It was obviously not news that she was expecting. She returned to the settee in shocked silence where she sat quietly still clutching the telegram in her hands.

Prissy was more frightened by her mistresses lack of action than of an angry outburst. Scarlett was not known for her silence. So Prissy quickly scurried from the room, telling one of the menservants to find Mr. Rhett.

Scarlett sat quietly rereading the missive. Suellen was dead. The news did not sadden her greatly. Truly she felt little emotion at the news. She had never liked Suelle, not even when they were children. But still Suellen was her flesh and blood and she had no desire to see her dead. The message was vague about the cause of death, and for a moment Scarlett saw the graves in the burial plot at Tara.

But worse than dealing with the death for her, was telling Carreen. Carreen had always been the soft sweet kind little sister, and now her honeymoon would be shortened to return for her sister's funeral. But life wasn't fair, obviously.

Scarlett rose from the settee and slowly walked up the stairs to change from the lavender dress she was wearing back into the black clothing she had so recently set aside. That day at the cemetery had been a changing moment for Rhett and Scarlett. The opportunity to grieve together had enabled both of them to both move on without leaving the memory of Bonnie behind. And now Scarlett was faced with another 3 months of black.

This is where Rhett found her, sitting in her bedroom dressed all in black. He said nothing but simply went to her side and knelt before her. She raised her eyes up to meet his. There were no tears there, only a resolute expression in her eyes. She squared her shoulders and lifted her chin. "Suellen is dead." Her voice was flat and emotionless.

"I'm sorry, Scarlett." Rhett spoke tenderly.

"Don't be," she told him coolly. "It isn't as if we ever got along."

"Scarlett, I know you and Suellen didn't like each other, but surely you loved her in some way." Rhett said trying to console her although she didn't seem to want to be consoled.

"It doesn't matter, she's gone now. We need to get to Tara. Someone has to take charge of the situation." And Scarlett rose from the bed.

"Scarlett, you still have to be careful, I know that you are strong. But let me help you. You have more to worry about than just yourself." He rose back to his feet, looking down at her. "You aren't alone anymore."

She nodded allowing him to hold her for a moment, before she be strong for everyone else. She had gone through enough death in her lifetime that she had grown jaded. Death was a part of everyday life. Death was the part of life.

AN SOrry if you were a fan of Suellen, I felt like this story needed a tragic element that was not Scarlett and Rhett.


	47. A Final Goodbye

Chapter 47

Chapter 47

The heat rolling over the sun baked red clay hills of Clayton County seemed to shimmer in the late Summer heat. Scarlett stood stiffly beside Rhett, both cloaked in somber black. Ella and Wade stood nearby silently as they remembered the other funerals that they had already endured in their short life times. Flashes of long buried memories flooded Wade's mind as he stood under the shade of the Oak tree that sheltered the burial ground. He remembered his grandfather's service in a childish haze as he also remembered Frank Kennedy's funeral. But the funeral that seemed most prevalent on his mind was that of his younger sister. It had only been a year since. At first he had not understood, and he was thankful for the time spent with Aunt Melly and Beau. But now he understood what his mind did not grasp a year before. Death was forever.

He briefly thought of his vivacious little sister. Bonnie has sparkled with life and vitality. It still seemed impossible in his mind that such vibrant life could be snuffed out. He had been her protector and playmate, yet it was only in rare times such as these that he allowed himself to think about it. Bonnie was gone forever. She was now nothing more than a memory in his heart, like Aunt Melly.

Ella stood staring at her pale cousins, as tears streamed down their ashen faces in a silent procession. She slowly twisted her hands, longing to be anywhere but where she was. She stood almost as if in a daze as she watched those around her mourn for her Aunt. But somehow, she was not moved to tears. Aunt Sue had never been kind to her, and somewhere in side her small chest, she took gratification upon her aunt's untimely demise. Aunt Suellen would never be cruel to her or Wade again she thought with a hidden smile of triumph. But slowly the triumph wore away as the thought began to plague her, "what if mother were to die like Aunt Suellen and Aunt Melly had died?" The thought immediately sobered and terrified Ella all in the same moment. And so she turned a stared at her mother, who rigidly stood next to Uncle Rhett. Mother was strong, but was mother strong enough? The thought stilled her nervous hands, petrifying her in fright.

Carreen stood weeping openly as Brent's arms sheltered her from the world and from the reality at hand. The real world had never been the place where Carreen had thrived. She had always been a dreamer, content to live in her own safe and secure world of bliss. Brent was still unused to the knowledge of who he was. And his eyes stared off into the distance as if shadows of memories of death were dancing a silent reel inside of his mind. Carreen trembled as her mouth moved in practiced ease, obviously reciting prayers for her lost sister.

Around the family stood the remants of the Antebellum social circle. Alex Fontaine stood with Sally and children. The Munroe boys stood silently with their wives. Ashley and Beau stood side by side, the sun highlighting the gold of their hair, as India stood quietly beside him with guilt ridden tears streaking her placid face. Her shoulders were bent in a resigned defeat. Beatrice Tarleton and Jim stood silent witnesses to the end of Suellen O'Hara, as the rest of the Tarletons gathered closely in, now very much a part of the family.

Scarlett's eyes shut as in a wince as each clod of dirt fell on to the cheap pine coffin already in the hole. Will had refused any offers on her part to make a grander funeral. And so Scarlett watched Suellen's children cry with flat, emotionless eyes. And Will stood immutable as a statue beside the grave. His tears had already been spent.

Slowly Rhett tugged at her hand and then wrapped his arm around her, pulling her away from the sounds of death and finality. Ella turned to see her mother leaving and ran after her, terrified to be alone. And so she clutched onto Scarlett's hand with a strength that belied her years. "Mother…. Please…. Don't leave me!" her small voice called out. And Scarlett broke free from the stoicism that had been her façade since the news had come in about Suellen's untimely death,

Scarlett stopped immediately and pulled the trembling child into her arms. "Shhh, baby girl. Mother isn't going to leave you. Shhhh…." She crooned as she kneeled on the gravel drive with the sobbing child in her arms.

At first Ella's voice was muffled as it traveled through the material of Scarlett's mourning. But then Ella pulled away from the hands that gently smoothed her hair and brushed away the tears. "Mother, please…." She begged. "Please don't leave me…"

Scarlett was confused since Ella was in her arms. "I'm right here, baby. Ella, darling, mother is right here."

Ella shook her head furiously, her curls swaying back and forth. "Mother, don't leave me! Mother, don't die!"

The hysterical words gripped Scarlett's heart, even as she tried to soothe her trembling child. "Baby, I'm here. I can't promise you tomorrow, but the Yankees couldn't kill me, the Carpetbaggers couldn't kill me. You're stuck with me." Ella's sobs subsided as leaned back into her mother's embrace. And Scarlett patiently sat with her legs quivering unused to the awkward position that she was in.

Finally, knowing that if he remained as she was, that she would surely fall over, Scarlett rose and took Ella by the hand to lead her inside. Rhett stood watching, knowing that the responsibility for Ella's emotions fell to Scarlett alone.

And Scarlett ushered the frightened and worried child into the house, leaving behind the other mourners to their grief. Once inside Rhett showed his concern for both as he quickly gave them water and forced Scarlett to sit down. Although it was still too early in her pregnancy for it to be obvious to anyone other than those who had been told, Rhett wanted her to be careful for the sake of the child and for herself.

She found herself seated in the back office upon the worn couch that had been there since before the war. She leaned against the back of it, as Ella leaned against her mother to assure herself that her mother was still beside her. Rhett leaned against the wall, quietly observing both mother and daughter to ease his mind that both were doing well.

O0o0o0o0o0o0o

Slowly Carreen ushered her pale and somber faced nieces into the house and away from their mother's grave. Mammy held the youngest child in her arms as she slowly lumbered her way back up to the house, out of the harsh heat. They silently obeyed her gentle commands, so unlike their mother's. All of the children were really too young to even truly comprehend the situation. They just knew that their mother was no longer there. And they were dependant upon the servants and their Aunt to soothe their tears and trials. Susie, the oldest was nearly a year younger than Ella, and had just turned seven. None of it made any sense to her. But she knew that mother was gone, and that her father was very, very sad.

The mourners trickled away as the grave was filled in by the pallbearers, Ashley, Hugh Munroe, Brent, and Alex Fonataine, until at last only one mourner remained at the graveside. His head was raised, staring at the tress that formed the entrance that led into Tara's drive, as if any moment someone would be returning on that path. But there was no carriage returning, and his eyes continued to stare unseeing. The Tarletons and Munroes and Fontaines all had come bearing food and comfort, and they mingled among the relatives offering their sincere condolences. But eventually each of them left to return to their own homes, leaving the O'Hara sisters, and their families alone to grieve. Ashley and Beau left, taking Wade with them, for he longed to see the changes that had been made in his absence.

As each family left, they saw silhouetted against the brightness of the growing fields as the harsh sun began to set, that Will still stood unmoving, a lone silent mourner beside his wife's grave. And they all knew with unshakeable certainty that Will had learned to love his wife. And finally they accepted that Will was now one of them.


	48. Will

Chapter 48

Chapter 48

The numbers swam before her eyes, making no sense, no logic behind them. This was her solace, her security, yet even this was not so today. She lifted her hands and rubbed at her temples. The house was silent now except for the sounds of her pen scratching across the paper and the occasional sound of a sheet being crumpled; it was in stark contrast to the bustle of earlier in the day when they had been flooded with visitors and friends that had gathered earlier. She carefully scratched out the incorrect calculations and began again, but her frustration was mounting. She ripped another sheet out of the ledger and began working from a clean surface.

"Scarlett," Rhett voice broke through the silence. In her frustration she had not heard him enter the room. "Scarlett, you should be asleep. You need your rest, and you have to be careful because of the baby."

She smiled for a moment, "Did you miss me?" she quizzed.

"No, I didn't miss you, I just noticed that the bed was a little drafty." He told her with a smirk.

"You are such a varmint sometimes, Rhett Butler." At least his presence made her feel a little safer and more secure, something that she was desperately longing for at the moment.

But he looked at the growing pile of crumpled and discarded ledger sheets, "Are you having problems, my pet?" His eye brow raising as he turned back to look at her.

She sighed in frustration. "Yes, nothing seems to make any sense, but I can't sleep and I wanted to get this done for Will. He works so hard, and he is so sad."

Rhett glanced at her questioningly.

"O, don't look at me that way, I do think of other people occasionally, when it suits my purpose." She said offering him a timid smile. "And Will is nearly a saint to have put up with Suellen, and if it weren't for him I don't know where Tara would be."

Rhett nodded encouragingly. "Helping Will helps Tara. There is no doubt about a portion of your motives, but I commend you Scarlett. It seems altruistic for you."

Scarlett stared blankly at him for a moment, uncertain if his statement had been a compliment or an insult.

He grinned again. "It was a compliment, my darling." He reached over and pulled on a pen that seemed to have gotten stuck under own of the small cubby holes on the desk. Rhett tugged on it determinedly until it was released with an odd splintering sound.

Scarlett's face revealed how sickening the sound was to her, after all this was her mother's desk. But as she stared in revulsion at the crack in the desk, she noticed a thin aged piece of paper sticking out from the hidden recesses. Rhett followed her gaze and tried to extract the paper, but it was of no use. Rhett's hands were to large to be able to manipulate the paper enough to pull it from its rest. So Scarlett reached with trembling hands, somehow, she felt that this paper held some significance, that there was something vitally important to her about this paper.

Her small fingers tugged at the paper, hoping that it would not be ripped or damaged while they tried to get it out.

"Scarlett, it's nothing important. Why don't we just forget about it." Rhett added cautiously.

"No!" she exclaimed defiantly. "It's important. Somehow I know that it is. I can't leave it alone."

He stood mesmerized for a moment by the determination flashing in her eyes. "Fine."

Slowly it began to slip from the grip that the wood had on it. Rhett's large was gentle fingers joined with Scarlett's as the worked. And with one final pull it was released. The force from the work sent Scarlett toppling into Rhett's chest. He let go of the paper and held her, his hands gently wrapping around ever so slightly thickening waist.

Her hands trembled as she fumbled to open the paper. She leaned into the security of Rhett's arms as she read the words inscribed across the top of the page "The last Will and Testament of Gerald O'Hara."

Scarlett turned in Rhett arms with a bewildered expression. "I thought that there wasn't a will. We never found the will. O Rhett do you think it is the real thing?"

Rhett carefully took the paper from her, his eyes skimming the words, trying to discover the bulk of the bequests. "Scarlett, Tara is yours."

Her eyes grew wide at this statement, her heart beating faster. She snatched the paper back from his hands and skimmed it to find her name. "I, Gerald O'Hara being of sound mind, do hereby bequeath my plantation, Tara, Clayton County Georgia, to my eldest daughter, Scarlett O'Hara Hamilton."

Scarlett froze in shock for a moment, it was something that had been on her mind ever since her father's death, and now it was real. Tara was all Scarlett's.

O0o0o0o0o0o0o

Will silently took in the news. His pale eyes were bloodshot and dark circles sat below his eyes. He stared at the table blankly. "Scarlett, I don't rightly know what you expect me to do about this."

Scarlett's gaze shot up at this comment, "O, Will" she cried. "This doesn't change things for you. We still want you to stay here. I don't know where Tara would be if it wasn't for all of your hard work."

Rhett, sitting beside Scarlett, quickly added to her reassurances, "Will we want you to stay at Tara and take care of it. In return I will pay you a healthy salary and you will always be taken care of. And this way you can more than provide for your children."

Will nodded, "Well that's mighty considerate of you Captain Butler. And thank you, Scarlett. "

"Will, I know that besides myself, no one loves Tara more than you do. I respect you and your decisions. But if Tara holds too many bad memories, we have decided that in lieu of Suellen's dowry that we would offer to buy you your own farm. But we really would like for you to stay here." Scarlett's eyes held sorrow and empathy for the pain he was going through.

Will shook his head slowly, "Tara may not have been my home before the war, but Tara is where I want to die. I'd like to stay. But I will be just hired help."

Scarlett violently shook her head. "No, Will! You are family. Even if Suellen and I never got along. You and my nieces are family. And no one else will ever know other than Brent and Carreen. But it doesn't matter to them because they were already planning on living at Fairhill. And since Brent is the only one of the boys to survive, he will inherit it." She paused for a moment, collecting herself. "Will you belong at Tara. And I would never take that away from you. But I do want Wade to inherit it someday, but I know that we would never try to take it from you either."

A ghost of a smile flashed across Will's tired and pale face. "Thank you Scarlett. You are a lady.

O0o0o0o0o0o0o

Scarlett strolled over the red hills with Wade at her side. There was something about this land that they both connected to in a way that they were not connected to anything else. A gentle breeze blew causing the leaves to rustle in the trees. Finally at the top of the hill where Scarlett had once stood with her father, they stopped. Here eyes took in the sites of the home she loved with every fiber of her being.

"Wade, do you know that not a year before you were born, I stood in this same spot. I didn't understand it then, but Pa told me that Tara, this land, was the only thing worth fighting for, worth dying for. And Wade I have fought, I fought so hard to keep this land, even though I know I hurt everyone else in the process. But Wade, this land is yours. Or at least it will be someday. I need you to understand that this is for you. That despite all of the mistakes I've made, and yes I know I have made many, that I do love you. I don't think I even knew what love was for most of your life. But I think I do now. And I want you to have everything, and I want you to live a life of peace. So Wade, if you love Tara, like I think that you do, then Tara will be yours someday."

Wade looked over at his mother's wistful face, for now he was as tall as she was. "Thank you, Mother. I love you as well." His words were soft and loving, "But I thought that you only owned a third of Tara…"

"I just learned that Tara is completely mine. And so someday, Wade, Tara will be yours. Ella has the store, as her inheritance, and the land by the railroad tracks is yours Wade. If the war hadn't happened, you would have come into a great deal of money, but I want you to still have an inheritance. And you are the oldest grandchild of my parents and it only seems fitting for Tara to be yours."

Wade smiled at her, his face beaming with happiness. He stuttered for a moment unsure of what was the appropriate thing to say, finally settling with the simplest. "Thank you."

They stood together in silence watching at the sun began setting against the horizon, until they heard a noise behind them. Scarlett turned to see Rhett striding casually up the hill. His smile was broad, revealing his perfect white teeth. "I should have known that you would be here, observing your empire."

Her eyes glowed like twin candles in the looming darkness. "I was sharing a memory with Wade, from the day before I met you." Her eyes took on an unusually wistful haze as she remembered.

Rhett chuckled. "If your mother is angry, Wade. It is inadvisable to allow her around anything breakable."

Wade turned back to his mother. Tell me about that last day, about the last bar-be-que at Twelve Oaks."

Scarlett smiled and began her story as they began the walk back to the main house. "It was April 1861, and the Tarleton boys had already begged for me to dance with them…"


	49. Tomorrow

Chapter 49

Chapter 49

A bitter wind whipped along the streets, driving those brave enough to face the frigid temperatures back inside. But inside the house was warm with many fires blazing in the many fireplaces. Wade sat with Ella in the playroom, trying to keep her occupied and her mind off of the situation down the hall. Ella however had no mind for the game that her brother was playing and she stared at the shut door.

The house had grown silent. Earlier they could here their mother's screams, which terrified them. To Wade it brought from the hidden recesses of his mind a memory of Beau's birth before the terrifying departure from Atlanta. And then he would pause in his game and stare at the blazing fire as it brought back the chilling memory.

"Do you think mother is all right?" Ella couldn't help asking. Her green eyes stared up at her older brother with fear evident in their depths.

"Mother is strong. She is much stronger than just about anyone I have ever met." Wade said in an attempt to soothe Ella. But the fear was clear in his eyes too. He understood much more than Ella did about what had gone on. But he didn't want to frighten Ella, it would do him no good for her to be afraid.

Ella reluctantly moved her checker only to have it captured by Wade's next move. However there was a knock at the door, so Ella's disappointment was interrupted.

"Are you ready to meet your little sister?" Rhett asked with a wide smile stretched across his face.

Ella jumped from her seat, knocking it over in her haste. "O, yes, oh yes, Uncle Rhett. I am so so excited!" Her curls bounced along with her head as she nodded.

Rhett scooped her up into his arms. "Come along Ella. I think I am just as excited as you are!" He added with a chuckle.

Wade made his way behind his step father and his little sister quietly. Rhett glanced at back at him questioningly. "Are you worried about something Wade?" He asked.

Wade nodded, "How is mother?" The simple words went straight to the heart of his worry.

"Your mother is feeling fine. She is sitting up in bed already eating a plate full of food. And you know that your mother's appetite is a very good indication of her health." Rhett chuckled at his own comment.

And Wade grinned in response. It relieved him to know that mother was well, and it was encouraging to know that she had just eaten for mother was always in a better mood when after a good meal.

The door slowly opened to reveal Scarlett holding a tiny bundle in her arms as she leaned against the backboard of the massive bed. Rhett gently set Ella down on the floor as they approached. Scarlett lifted her gaze to them, her smile continuing to shine. "Would you like to meet your sister?" she asked.

Ella nodded and Wade smiled at his mother. They edged closer to the bed, peering at the tiny pink bundle in Scarlett's arms. "What's her name mother?" Ella asked breathlessly, obviously enthralled with the child the size of one of her baby dolls.

Scarlett's green eyes flickered up to Rhett's dark ones. "Her name is Katie Eleanor Butler."

Rhett beamed as only a new father beams. Wade glanced at him as Scarlett motioned for the children to join her on the bed. Wade nervously shook his head, as Rhett cautioned Ella to be careful. Wade was uncomfortable and Rhett sensing that instead made an alternative offer. "Wade, why don't you join me downstairs, while the girls get acquainted with each other."

Wade quickly agreed and followed Rhett from the room.

Ella curled up on the bed next to her mother staring at her baby sister. "Momma, she's so pretty. Was I a pretty baby?"

For a moment Scarlett was at a loss for words. In her minds eye, she could see how ugly Ella had been as an infant. "Well, Ella, you weren't the prettiest baby, but that was because people can only be pretty for so long. And now you are so beautiful, it doesn't matter what you looked like when you were a baby."

Ella gasped, "I was an ugly baby, wasn't I?" Scarlett didn't reply, because she didn't know how to reply to this comment. But Ella simply laughed. "It's ok, I didn't have to look at me." She chirped.

Scarlett smiled as Ella leaned her head against her mother's shoulder. "Mother, I love you." Ella added wistfully.

"I love you too, baby. I love you too." Scarlett softly whispered as she kissed the top of Ella's ginger curls.

Katie squirmed in her mother's arms, her rosebud lips puckering. And Scarlett realized what she had missed out on with her older children. And an over powering wave of motherly love crashed against her heart as she held her two daughters next to her.

O0o0o0oo0o0o0o0

Wade sat across from Rhett holding the small glass of champagne in his hand. His eyes stared at the golden liquid with bubbled slowly rising to the surface. He remembered with clarity the day Bonnie was born and he had tasted his first sip of alcohol. He glanced up at Rhett as he lifted the glass to his lips, allowing the bubbles to tickle his lips.

"Wade you are becoming a man. I am proud of you." Rhett told him simply.

Wade's eyes flashed with pride at the recognition of the changes that he had made. "Thank you, Uncle Rhett." His eyes briefly went to the floor before he lifted them again. "Are you disappointed that it wasn't a son?"

Rhett chuckled. "Not at all. You are my son. Why do I need another?" Wade stared at him for a moment not quite certain that he believed him.

Rhett grinned, "As long as you don't try any of the stunts you pulled last year, then I think I will survive you. And Ella will break many hearts, just like her mother before her. And as for Katie, well I am sure that she will grow up being loved completely by her sister and brother and parents."

"Uncle Rhett…" Wade began.

But Rhett cut him off. "This is our new change to start over. I want to do thing right with you. I want you to know how proud I am of you, and I want you to understand how sorry I am for my mistakes. I don't deserve a son like you."

Wade smiled timidly at him and then walked into Rhett's waiting arms a place where he had known security and peace for all of his life.

O0O0oo0o0o0o

Rhett carried the sleeping Ella from Scarlett's room back into her bed. She stirred slightly in sleep and snuggled against her chest. When he returned he found Scarlett standing beside the cradle, watching their daughter sleep.

"She looks just like you." He softly said as he walked up behind her.

Scarlett turned to face him, her eyes misty with unshed tears. "Rhett how do we deserve this. How do I deserve this? How do I deserve to have such a beautiful wonderful child?" A single tear escaped gently trailing down her alabaster skin.

"Scarlett, we been through so much. Don't you think we deserve a little happiness?" Rhett gently consoled.

"But Melly deserved a baby girl, and she died trying. What made me worthy of this child? Why did I survive?" Scarlett voice was calm and sad. No hysterical sobs interrupted her confession.

"Melanie was all heart. If it weren't for you, Melly wouldn't have survived as long as she did." Rhett spoke reverently in deference to the memory of his friend Melanie.

Scarlett 's face changed as if deep in a memory. "Rhett, when you left I asked asked 'where shall I go, what shall I do' and you told me that you didn't give a damn.

Was that true?"

Rhett pulled Scarlett away from the cradle over to the bed. "O, Scarlett. You still can't seem to see when I'm lying. I did care. I do care. I discovered that I can't live without you. Do you honestly think I could put up with you if I didn't love you?"

Scarlett smiled a small smile, still unsure of the depth of her feelings. "I'm sorry for all of it. I'm sorry for who I was."

But Rhett cut her off. "This isn't the time for apologies. I loved who you were. I love who you are. And I can't imagine my life with anyone but you. For the first time, we aren't at cross purposes. We finally have it right. Don't you see that Scarlett?"

Scarlett nodded tentatively. And Rhett continued. "Don't you understand, we are meant for each other. We fit together like two halves of a whole. It's never quite made sense to me, but slowly I am comprehending it. If someone would have told me this fifteen years ago, I don't think I would have believed them that I would fall in love with a woman who's mother was younger than me. Perhaps it will never make sense, but I love you Scarlett… God help me I do."

Scarlett's eyes glowed with contentedness and love. "I love you too, Rhett Butler."

And she tilted her chin up to him as his lips descended. They shared a gentle kiss and then Rhett pulled away. "Happy Valentines Day, Mrs. Butler."

Rhett pulled Scarlett down on the bed and pulled her into his arms. It was not an embrace of passion, it was love pure and simple. And no longer did she need to wait for tomorrow. Today was full of joy and happiness. And tomorrow would have enough happiness of it own.

The End.

Author's note:

Thank you to everyone who read and reviewed. I loved all of your reviews, whether they were positive or note. I'm glad I was able to share this with you. And my writing isn't over, even if this story is. But thanks so much again!


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